20 Things Not To Say To A Cop

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20 Things Not To Say To A Cop - 10/22/2008 9:56:50 PM

MadAxeman

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The top 20 things not to say to a cop when he pulls you over.

20. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer.
19. Sorry officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.
18. Aren't you the guy from the villiage people?
17. Hey, you must have been doing 125 to keep up with me, good job.
16. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical shape to be a police officer.
15. I was going to be a cop, but I decided to finish high school instead.
14. Bad cop. No donut.
13. You're not going to check the trunk, are you?
12. Gee, that gut sure doesn't inspire confidence.
11. Didn't I see you get your butt kicked on cops?
10. Is it true that people become cops because they are too dumb to work at McDonalds?
9. I pay your salary
8. So uh, you on the take or what?
7. Gee officer, that's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning.
6. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.
5. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other cars around, that's how far they are ahead of me.
4. What do you mean have I been drinking? You are the trained specialist.
3. Well, when I reached down to pick up my bag of crack, my gun fell off of my lap and got lodged between the brake and the gas pedal, forcing me to speed out of control.
2. Hey, is that a 9mm? That's nothing compared to this 44 magnum. 1. Hey, can you give me another one of those full cavity searches?

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RE: 20 Things Not To Say To A Cop - 10/22/2008 11:19:17 PM

GreedyTop

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*snort*

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RE: 20 Things Not To Say To A Cop - 10/23/2008 3:20:35 AM

beautyImurDaddy

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Since i worked Law Enforcement for so long.. I amassed a huge collection of these.. but theres a couple that you forgot on your list:

When the Officer says "Your eyes look red, have you been drinking?' You probably shouldn't respond with, "Gee Officer your eyes looked glazed, have you been eating donuts?

Are you Andy or Barney?

No, I don't know how fast I was going. The little needle stops at 110.

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RE: 20 Things Not To Say To A Cop - 10/23/2008 3:41:37 AM

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RE: 20 Things Not To Say To A Cop - 10/23/2008 7:19:52 AM

DaddyChess

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So glad this isn't LA, I'd be dead by now.
You mean you weren't sleeping this time?
3 words officer, Hot, Fresh, Now...
What are my rights again, I forgot...
Why is it not wrong for you to coast thru the stop sign...
Sorry, I didnt' see the sign, I was distracted by the jogger... weren't you?
How many of you does it take to give me a ticket??
Oh yeah, watch for the needle in my pocket...

Ok, I'll stop... LOL

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RE: 20 Things Not To Say To A Cop - 10/23/2008 11:04:53 PM

soul2share

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We actually have the poster in our briefing room with all those on it......

My favorite idjit was one that Scottsdale PD brought into the hospital for a blood draw for DUI......he actually thought he could "fix" the breathalyzer tester by sticking a penny in his mouth! Said he read on the Internet that if you do that, the alcohol in your breath won't register....this was after he blew a .24.......duh!

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RE: 20 Things Not To Say To A Cop - 10/23/2008 11:25:26 PM

GreedyTop

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Mythbusters did an episode on that..LOL

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RE: 20 Things Not To Say To A Cop - 10/24/2008 12:55:26 AM

Asherdelampyr

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I remember that episode

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RE: 20 Things Not To Say To A Cop - 10/24/2008 1:55:49 AM

shewhoserves

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I'm surprised you stopped me, Dunkin Donuts is having a 3 for 1 special!

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RE: 20 Things Not To Say To A Cop - 10/24/2008 2:07:04 AM

shewhoserves

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Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.

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RE: 20 Things Not To Say To A Cop - 10/24/2008 2:09:17 AM

shewhoserves

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Didn't I see you get your ass kicked on "COPS" last week on TV?
Hey, aren't you one of the Village People?

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RE: 20 Things Not To Say To A Cop - 10/24/2008 8:39:38 AM

BlackPhx

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Never ever say.."Officer you have a ticket to ride if you don't give me a ticket" even if you Are BLOND, Gorgeous and have legs that don't quit.

poenkitten

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RE: 20 Things Not To Say To A Cop - 10/24/2008 8:52:57 AM

PrincessJ77

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"Your handcuffs or mine?"

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RE: 20 Things Not To Say To A Cop - 10/24/2008 9:31:55 AM

SteelofUtah

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NEVER say the following:

"You you just like the Husband of this Married chick I'm Banging...... What's your Last name again?"

Yeah that one is a BAD idea.

Steel

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RE: 20 Things Not To Say To A Cop - 10/24/2008 11:20:59 AM

GrumbleLion

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1. "Are you doing another ticket drive?"

I had a cop give me a ticket for no front license plate and then tell me they were doing a ticket drive as part of some sort of incentive program to increase the number of tickets.

2. To a female cop with a wink and a grin "You can cuff me up anytime"

3. "Yes I know the trailer light is broken, I did not think it was needed."

4. while dealing with a Fix it ticket "duct tape should be an approved repair"

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RE: 20 Things Not To Say To A Cop - 10/24/2008 2:31:49 PM

Vendaval

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I am just taking my new vibrator out for a drive, it is sound activated and revs with the engine.

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RE: 20 Things Not To Say To A Cop - 10/24/2008 4:43:53 PM

GreedyTop

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it's also a REALLY bad idea to slip out of handcuffs while sitting in the back of the police car...

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RE: 20 Things Not To Say To A Cop - 10/24/2008 8:14:52 PM

KMsAngel

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you'll have to have a chat with sci about that.... naughty monkey

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RE: 20 Things Not To Say To A Cop - 10/24/2008 8:19:30 PM

GreedyTop

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lol Angel.. yeah, we've had that discussion...

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RE: 20 Things Not To Say To A Cop - 10/24/2008 9:11:46 PM

MarksFantasyGirl

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ok, I'm really suprised no one has said this one yet :

"Is that a night stick in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?!?!?"

My ex tried to act all tough and say that as the cop was coming over to the car to give him a ticket while the window was up.... However, he studdered and shook like CRAZY as soon as he got to him! LMAO! I love "tough guys"

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