Sensualips
Posts: 1013
Joined: 10/8/2005
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The thread on stripping reminded me of a recent experience and am compelled to share.
My semi-uptight best-vanilla-friend recently decided we needed to develop some hobbies. She likes exercise, holistic health, and home decorating. I like eating chocolate and kinky sex sites. She graciously attempted to combine our interests and signed up for Stripperobics.
You know, the strip tease aerobics, where you spend the majority of the class gyrating on the floor next to complete strangers. Apparently Oprah did a show on these classes and explained how they're supposed to bring out a woman's inner "sexy." I sort of felt my inner sexy was pretty much out, and was not thrilled with the idea of this class. Of course, you never know when an interesting Dom might want to order me to perform a strip tease and I do like to be prepared. I relented.
If you knew me, you would be squirming with laughter right now. You don't yet realize physically inepet and uncoordinated I truly am. ince you do not know me, please imagine something else. A person with grace and rhythm, preferrably.
My friend snatched me from bed at 8 am on a Saturday morning and presented me to the blonde-buff-and-beautiful instructor. I decided to maintain a good attitude. I sat my bag down and looked expectantly around the room, searching for poles and 6" stilettos with those Plexi-glass heels. I attempted to do a few stretches, trying exude a little confidence. I couldn't help but notice I had chosen sweat pants and a T-shirt while most of the other women were decked out in lycra and sports bras, showing off taut stomachs and shapely thighs,
Just as I was contemplating an escape out, the instructor turned on the music and began slinking around the room. I was stuck. I would have to become a stripper for the next hour.
Now I can grind my hips with the best of them, and I'm mostly comfortable in my own skin. This was a different situation. The rest of the women were shimmying around, licking their lips and pulsating like we were at an oversexed middle school dance. I was completely out of my element and grossly intimidated. Looking at the clock, I realized I had one hour to endure this and find my inner sexy.
So what did I do?
I got down and dirty. I swung my hips around slowly, slid down to the floor, shoved my butt out and slowly worked my way back up, arching my back and moving to the Britney Spears song that was blaring in the background (how ironic, I mean, really, pick something else). I was feeling it. Give me a huge yellow snake and I could have been mistake for the pop princess herself.
Then I caught sight of myself in the mirror. Urk. Think less Britney and more the awkward ballarina elephant from the children's book series. It was really quite horrific. Things shook that were intended to stay stationary. The instructor continued to show different stripper moves and encouraged us to feel comfortable in our body movement. We all crawled toward the mirror, dragging our hands provocatively along the floor. I slipped, and fell forward on my face cutting my lip.
I tried to feel like Demi Moore in Striptease. Except I was fully clothed and I don't have breast implants and I'm not a famous actress who just married Ashton Kutcher and I could taste blood. If we were earning dollar bills today in class, I would have been umm, well...penniless. However, I was getting a great workout and sweating away!
I am ever hopeful this is an act that I would never be asked to perform by anyone, Dominate or otherwise. In the end, I was happy that I have a nice, safe desk job and that I don't need to rely on selling my body for money. I'm especially glad that I don't need to crawl around on the floor and pick up dollar bills in my mouth.
Of course, working for the state government is just as frustrating and often more degrading.
< Message edited by Sensualips -- 12/12/2005 12:08:18 PM >
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