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RE: Masters rules/orders - 10/25/2008 9:32:29 AM   
marieToo


Posts: 3595
Joined: 5/21/2006
From: Jersey
Status: offline 		I've never been with anyone who micro-managed.  The most I've ever had to do was ask permission to leave a room, make sure I made contact with him at certain times, and deal with some speech restrictions.  All were relatively easy to deal with.

I actually find the idea of having tons of rules kind of a turn on because of the level of control, but not sure it would work well (for me) in a long-term situation.   

_____________________________

marie.


I give good agita.









(in reply to tsatske)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Masters rules/orders - 10/25/2008 9:47:35 AM   
tsatske


Posts: 2037
Joined: 3/9/2007
From: Louisville, KY
Status: offline 		marie -
it sort of depends on who your Master is. I know Master wants much more control of me than he currently has,
but -
He knows I am a good girl, and I am always doing my best.
His attitude, as he has stated it, is,
if he waits long enough, he will get everything he wants.
He is infinatly patient. Takes an attitude of - when you are ready, you will come ask for it, and it will be easy for you.
Baby steps, one at a time, loads of praise, him caring what I want, what I need -
Yes, a bit at a time, it comes.
We have been together a year, and he is just now showing me how to put his clothes away. He is very anal, and I have always just left them on the bed. But he saw that I was wanting to be able to put them away for him, so he is showing me.
Doesn't that sound like something most Masters would do on day one?
He is very patient, and slow does not bother him.

_____________________________

“If you never did you should. These things are fun and fun is good”
~Dr. Seuss quote

(in reply to marieToo)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Masters rules/orders - 10/25/2008 11:14:50 AM   
BRNaughtyAngel


Posts: 1821
Status: offline 		We don't have a lot of rules, and sometimes He just requires something on a temporary basis.  But I ask permission for many things that He has never required that I ask about.  I think He likes that I do that, and it's just natural for me to ask, so it works for us.


(in reply to tsatske)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Masters rules/orders - 10/25/2008 7:36:05 PM   
oceanwynds


Posts: 1044
Joined: 8/24/2006
Status: offline 		I do not have set rules. If Sir requires that i do A, B and C he will tell me, though A, B C isn't always the same. He doesn't like to micormanage me, since he knows that i am working hard on learning independence.

oceanwynds

(in reply to BRNaughtyAngel)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Masters rules/orders - 10/25/2008 8:28:28 PM   
Icarys


Posts: 5757
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: chamberqueen

I'm boring.  I learn quickly and follow new rules immediately.  I rarely make a mistake - good thing I don't have a Master that enjoys punishing for mistakes.

I would hardly call that boring.


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submission - the feeling of patient, submissive humbleness - the state of being submissive or compliant; meekness.

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(in reply to chamberqueen)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Masters rules/orders - 10/25/2008 8:52:12 PM   
marieToo


Posts: 3595
Joined: 5/21/2006
From: Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: tsatske

marie -
it sort of depends on who your Master is. I know Master wants much more control of me than he currently has,
but -
He knows I am a good girl, and I am always doing my best.
His attitude, as he has stated it, is,
if he waits long enough, he will get everything he wants.
He is infinatly patient. Takes an attitude of - when you are ready, you will come ask for it, and it will be easy for you.
Baby steps, one at a time, loads of praise, him caring what I want, what I need -
Yes, a bit at a time, it comes.


This is very sweet.  I know every master/dom is different and has a different method.

I'm very much like you, in that I want to do good, and so when I'm in a relationship, I'm always trying to be pleasing anyway, so the patience thing can sometimes encourage the submissive to go even further in her efforts because it only makes us want to please all the more.

<sorry for the run-on sentence>

_____________________________

marie.


I give good agita.









(in reply to tsatske)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Masters rules/orders - 10/25/2008 11:22:00 PM   
NuevaVida


Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ShyAllison1919

One thing that I've been curious about is the difference between erotic fantasy (such as wanting to have to ask for permission to use the bathroom) and reality (such as actually having to do it).  Is that a difference that exists for most of you?  Or does it conflate into the same thing?


Well........... I didn't live with my former Master, but he had me on very strict rules and schedules. He put me on a bathroom schedule, for urinating as well as defecating. The urinating schedule was unrealistic, but I tried it. I didn't question it, because when I would bring up things I just knew wouldnt work it would irritate him. Sure enough, I had a bladder infection rather quickly, and, in fact, lost a lot of control over my bladder. I'd have to pee and - voila - out it would come. So, as I suspected he would, he did away with that rule. The defecation rule remained however. I was given certain times I was allowed to do so, and I did.

When with him, however, I would always ask. Sometimes he would say yes, sometimes he would say no. Sometimes he would say no but my body would do its own thing anyway.

Certain fantasies can be realities, if they are thought through. He pretty much had control over everything I did, but there were some things that, as much as I tried, I just could not do. The key is to work together - by way of your feedback and his consideration of it.

_____________________________

Live Simply. Love Generously. Care Deeply. Speak Kindly.



(in reply to ShyAllison1919)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Masters rules/orders - 10/26/2008 12:04:04 AM   
Rayne58


Posts: 746
Joined: 2/22/2005
From: Sydney Australia
Status: offline 		*fast reply*
I don't have any bathroom rules   Sir doesn't much like making decisions on minor things.
A big issue though is how we decide on what to have for dinner.  I prefer to give two or three choices and for Him to decide between them.  Sir prefers me to tell Him what I'm going to cook, and ask if that is ok.  Most often it is a yes.  It's been nearly 5 years and I still ask Him what He'd like for dinner....

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Collared sub and married to Nevershyau

(in reply to NuevaVida)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Masters rules/orders - 10/27/2008 5:13:38 AM   
Pixiespark


Posts: 11
Joined: 7/17/2008
Status: offline 		ive got quite a bit of self control. i have very very few rules the most He expects out of me is to be polite in public and caring and affectionate towards Him no matter where we are.
He always told me from the start to look at it in His point of view and how id want a submissive under my control to act, and then carry it out.
thought the rules i do have, i have trouble sometimes following them, but i very rarely get punished harshly.

(in reply to tsatske)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Masters rules/orders - 10/27/2008 8:26:00 AM   
littleone35


Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline 		To add to my op  Master has one rule that i love to do.  I don't have trouble remember this rule.  Whenever i leave his side for any reason i have to give him a kiss.  I also have to kiss him when i return to his side.  Since i love to kiss him anyway this is a great rule for us.

Matt's littleone

(in reply to Pixiespark)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Masters rules/orders - 10/27/2008 9:25:08 AM   
sleeper798


Posts: 30
Joined: 9/10/2008
Status: offline 		Aaaw! I love the kissing rule!  My Master likes to be stern and authoritative when he is "in role", and affectionate and cuddly most of the rest of the time. We don't get to spend a lot of time together physically, so when we are together, things still tend to be pretty rushed and... focused.  But I have asked him a zillion and one questions and such to try to get a better idea of what he wants.  He pretty much has said he will tell me when and what he wants, and loves to keep me guessing.  So I'm still waiting for "rules" per se. 

But I do try to ask him for permission for anything "big" that is going on.  I didn't ask permission to go shopping for fetish clothes, but I did ask him before agreeing to go to a club with some friends who don't know about us.  (He said "no".  Poot!)  There are not a lot of things that he has chosen to control, but I imagine that will change as our relationship becomes more and more full-time.  Maybe one day he will have me asking permission to leave the room or sit on the furniture, who knows?  Sounds hot to me!

_____________________________

Hey. Don't be mean. You don't have to be mean. Because, no matter where you go...there you are.
B. Banzai

(in reply to littleone35)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Masters rules/orders - 10/27/2008 9:40:43 AM   
oceanwynds


Posts: 1044
Joined: 8/24/2006
Status: offline 		What I like regarding this thread is to see the variety here. For some, like me, micromanaging would not be desired and there are Dominants that prefer that. For others rules and orders are thrived on and there are Dominants that prefer that. It is for me a plus to see this. As I have said before, cm posts helps a lot, because there are so many different types of personalites.

oceanwynds

(in reply to sleeper798)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Masters rules/orders - 10/27/2008 1:09:52 PM   
IvyMorgan


Posts: 729
Joined: 7/5/2007
From: Midlands, UK
Status: offline 		I figure it's pretty much the same as learning any complex new routine.  It took me about 2 weeks to be able to do the daily reports for the MD without looking at the notes (but then, me and the computer do not get on, I give it instructions, it brats...)  Of course, having left that job for 4 weeks and then gone back to it, I've forgotten how to do it.  Consistancy is good, I guess.

(in reply to oceanwynds)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Masters rules/orders - 10/27/2008 2:49:54 PM   
softness


Posts: 2918
Joined: 8/1/2006
From: Leeds, UK
Status: offline 		I spend a lot of time with a Domme who requires her slave to ask permission before she eats and drinks anything. I do the same as a show of respect for her and remembering to do it came very quickly - its nothing to do with micro-management .. or even hugely of D/s .. its an acknowledgement of her having authority over her slave, and me choosing to allow her that authority over me as a sign of respect.

Another Domme has a very particular set of protocols around me when we spend time together, how I stand sit, kneel, speak, walk, ask for things, eat, drink, everything really. It is possibly the strictest protocol I have ever followed and would be impossible for me to train another girl to follow it because I am probably not even consciously aware of some of it. Sure sometimes I slip up ... we are all human, even slaves .... but generally speaking someone who is trained well becomes well trained ... people who are trained poorly .. become poorly trained.

What I hate is when goal posts are consistently moved, protocols changed etc ... being set up to fail is a hard limit for me .. and I really get narked off with people who do it to me.

< Message edited by softness -- 10/27/2008 2:51:51 PM >

_____________________________

proudly wearing the blue collar of consideration to DK Leather, Leatherdykeuk, and LeatherEagle of the UK KRueL Leather Family

veritas, respectus honorque in corio





(in reply to IvyMorgan)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Masters rules/orders - 10/27/2008 4:35:15 PM   
WinsomeDefiance


Posts: 6719
Joined: 8/7/2007
Status: offline 		I really really REALLY sucked at remembering to ask for permission for things.  Luckily, I was so much better at begging forgiveness. 

WinD

(in reply to softness)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Masters rules/orders - 10/28/2008 8:06:35 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		In general, a rule that must be followed daily takes about one month to get down pat so it is a habit. If the rule only needs to be followed once in a blue moon, it takes a lot longer to learn it and do it automatically.

We discussed bathroom control and I just couldn't do that. Sometimes the thirty seconds it would take to ask and get his reply would be longer than I have.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to tsatske)
Profile   Post #: 36
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