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undergroundsea -> RE: Oral Servitude (11/3/2008 6:45:57 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Lockit
I think most domme's were saying there is no force about it. I know I was.
I agree that there is no force about it as in subs do not have to have their arm twisted ;-)
However, in most cases there is no forced in submission in general; in most cases submission is offered willingly to whom one wishes to offer it. I say most cases because some subs do wish to be somehow subdued, and some subs have fantasies, even if they offer submission willingly, where they are forced one way or another to comply with an order.
There are, however, commands and obedience in D/s. And there are different ways that people willingly express or receive submission. I think providing oral pleasure is one such way. Ordering a sub to massage feet is an act of dominance. Ordering a sub to provide oral pleasure is an act of dominance. Offering or wanting to give a foot massage can, amongst a mix of motivations, be an expression of submission. Offering or wanting to give oral pleasure can, amongst a mix of motivations, be an expression of submission. Whether it is or not depends on the persons involved.
quote:
ORIGINAL: Lockit
Okay let me put it this way... if oral or a blow job is a submissive act... why is it that I have all the power with that member so close to teeth or in moving away and watching his torment or in denial of one or the promise of one?
Then is providing oral pleasure a dominant activity? I imagine those who have rape play fantasies wish to be ordered or forced to provide oral sex. Surely at that moment of providing oral pleasure the victim does not become dominant. I think providing oral sex is what one sees it to be.
A submissive is not in a dominant position when he provides foot worship to a domme simply because his teeth are near her feet. A submissive is not in a dominant position when he does dishes simply because he can break the china. In your situation you are using a blowjob as a way to create torment via biting, or a way to tease. It is not that giving a blowjob is dominant but that biting or teasing are activities that can fall in the realm of dominance or sadism.
And so, for you providing oral pleasure, at least in the way described, is not providing a service as might be for some people but a means towards providing physical and mental torment towards BDSM fun. This approach provides one example of how providing oral pleasure is defined not in absolute terms but by the persons involved.
quote:
If they don't want to do it... not a problem... if I have to force you... we won't work. How does one force someone to do something they tend to beg to do... somewhat like you are asking in that research. lol Oral isn't a service... Now... dishes is something one might need to force someone to do... but even in that, if I have to force it... see you...
Your post suggests that you consider doing dishes to be a submissive act.
Sure, it's a service. But a vanilla person might do dishes at a friend's house to be helpful. At such a time, I doubt that the person doing it feels submissive to the friend and I doubt the friend feels dominant over this person. This scenario is an example of whether an act of service represents submission or not depends on how it is perceived by those involved.
It seems that providing or receiving oral pleasure does not represent dominance or submission to you, which is fair enough. It is also fair for a person who sees D/s value in providing oral pleasure to hold that perspective--this person is not wrong for holding that perspective.
Cheers,
Sea
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