Searching and Finding

Searching and Finding (Full Version)

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candystripper -> Searching and Finding (12/12/2005 8:19:35 PM)
Regardless of the means by which we search, how do we know if we have found the right person?

truesub4u -> RE: Searching and Finding (12/12/2005 8:32:50 PM)
I've often thought of this question myself Candy, thank you for bringing it up. And I don't know. Because all though I have been found, the journey is just begining on getting to know each other even more. I don't know how long it will be before I know he's found the right one in me, or if I have in him. But wonder if there should be a time frame... but damn glad there's not too. But when he came to me, the feel of his pulling me was so overwhelming. In all my experiances, as little as they may of been with diffferent ones, but with the few I have had. His was so strong. That I felt him be able to take me and calm me, relax me, and allow me to shine for him. Like no other had been able to before. And I hope I feel this way 20-40 years from now with him. And him with me as well. But time will only tell. And it will tell me or him, if it's ments to be or not. Thanks again Candy, I always look forward to seeing a post from you. Makes me think, and remember it's alright to speak back as well. Happy Holidays to you and yours.

ProtagonistLily -> RE: Searching and Finding (12/12/2005 9:47:13 PM)
quote: Regardless of the means by which we search, how do we know if we have found the right person? That's between you and the other person. I suppose you could talk to every random person you could find to ask if this person is really right for you, but in the end, only you and the other person can determine that. That's how grown ups have relationships. We don't do it by committee. Lily

Wolfie648 -> RE: Searching and Finding (12/12/2005 9:52:52 PM)
quote: Regardless of the means by which we search, how do we know if we have found the right person? They make you feel yucky inside. D (owner of j)

candystripper -> RE: Searching and Finding (12/12/2005 10:04:50 PM)
truesub4u makes a great point; i think my body would recognise Him. i think i'd feel more feminine, sheltered, relaxed and of course, horny, LOL. candystripper

slavejali -> RE: Searching and Finding (12/12/2005 10:04:54 PM)
i heard somene say this once and it stuck with me... "They fit like an old shoe"

candystripper -> RE: Searching and Finding (12/12/2005 10:08:49 PM)
quote: That's between you and the other person. I suppose you could talk to every random person you could find to ask if this person is really right for you, but in the end, only you and the other person can determine that. That's how grown ups have relationships. We don't do it by committee. Lily Laughs; one of my Purgatory scenes is sitting in on a committee that cannot stay on-point, etc. How i hated such meetings in state government, LOL. Lily, dear, i am not asking what sort of character my One should have; i am asking how do i recognise it when i have met me One? candystripper

IrishMist -> RE: Searching and Finding (12/12/2005 10:15:36 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: candystripper Regardless of the means by which we search, how do we know if we have found the right person? For me, I knew the minute I laid my eyes on my late husband that he was the one for me. I just melted inside when he looked at me and smiled, he did not even have to say a word...and this was a good month before I even knew his name :)

truesub4u -> RE: Searching and Finding (12/12/2005 10:46:16 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: candystripper truesub4u makes a great point; i think my body would recognise Him. i think i'd feel more feminine, sheltered, relaxed and of course, horny, LOL. candystripper Oh yes, horney indeed. But it was still like 2-3 months before we got that far. Was very hard to not beg, or plead. Alot of sweet good nights, then mad dashes for shower and or toys. LOL Oh am I so glad we're past that point now. But at same time, whenever I see him pop on line, call, or knock, I get the same feeling I had from the start. And I love it.

MsPurrmeow -> RE: Searching and Finding (12/12/2005 11:24:19 PM)
When you celebrate your 10th Anniversary and realize that you have already made logical and realistic plans for your 20th. When you realize that you have no more secrets. They know them all and respect them whether in silence or in the "let's work on them together" stages. When I realize that I actually trust this other person. (That takes a while) For me, though, literally, there is no such thing. Anyone can leave at any time. Every day with someone who gives me joy is a gift, and I can have no expectations of any more than that. What I "Find" is a wonderful moment that is shared. Nothing more. I can Hope for a lifetime, but there are no guarantees.

pandoravampire -> RE: Searching and Finding (12/13/2005 1:00:40 AM)
when you dont have to ask this question.

KatyLied -> RE: Searching and Finding (12/13/2005 4:06:36 AM)
quote: "They fit like an old shoe" Sometimes they are a nice, fun shoe that fits. You can't wait to wear the shoe. You take good care of the shoe. Then the heel falls off. And it can't be fixed. Not enough glue.

sunshine333 -> RE: Searching and Finding (12/13/2005 4:12:20 AM)
candystripper ... i'm really surprised that you're asking this question because i think you know the answer. i've learned to listen to my body. our bodies cannot lie. our brains can. our brains can convince us of whatever is convenient or seemingly pleasant at any given time. if we take some time and get to know ourselves ... body and mind ... we will learn where we hold tension. some hold it in their shoulders, some in their belly, etc. when things feel right physically ... they most likely are right. when our body tenses because of certain thoughts ... for example, future plans ... then, i believe, that is a signal that we should listen to and honor. and after a while we learn the difference between all the body's messages ... nervousness, terror, excitement ... etc. i met a "Master" online and then began talking on the phone a while back. every time we tried to schedule a meeting i felt sick in my belly. after years of ignoring my body's signals and paying high prices for that ... i listened this time. i never met him and broke off all contact. i learned to trust my body. and even though i'll never know how it would have ended up ... i still know i did what was right. it's like all things in life ... not just finding your One. it is finding your One, finding you, finding your spiritual path, making a career choice, deciding whether or not to have children, etc. our bodies have innate wisdom. unfortunately, it takes our brains lifetimes to learn to listen. humbly, sunshine

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Searching and Finding (12/13/2005 5:02:34 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: candystripper truesub4u makes a great point; i think my body would recognise Him. i think i'd feel more feminine, sheltered, relaxed and of course, horny, LOL. candystripper Well that's how you know you've got good CHEMISTRY with someone. That doesn't mean you'd be a good match or have potential as a good relationship.

fldrkhorse -> RE: Searching and Finding (12/13/2005 5:23:17 AM)
When there is NO fear.

fyreredsub -> RE: Searching and Finding (12/13/2005 6:02:05 AM)
you don't...thats where trial and error come into play...people can present themselves to be anything but till you actually take the risk and try...you don't know. yes there will be laughter and tears............you just have to do it and see

fyreredsub -> RE: Searching and Finding (12/13/2005 6:04:47 AM)
lol candy, when you don't have to ask the question

Phoenxx -> RE: Searching and Finding (12/13/2005 6:45:08 AM)
I once was told to picture yourself sitting on the front porch, in the twilight of your years. Then if you can picture the person your with beside you.... That's one. If it's Anna Nicloe Smith .... your in trouble! Tony

MHOO314 -> RE: Searching and Finding (12/13/2005 7:09:32 AM)
a very very good question, for I too often see both sides end up with the wrong person---hmmm--I think that varies but from a general view---There is a comfort from the start--when I recently read a post from Mercnbeth--He talked about the natural squeeze of her hand-- that he ordered her dinner and He watched---there was a comfortableness there--they talked of many things, it wasn't "kneel bitch, I own you"-- a good friend of Mine says, when the dynamic feels natural--not forced but slipped into like a hand in a glove---its not necesarily the Emeril BAM--but then there are vanilla aspects--I mean one cannot stay chained up all day----with My current sub, though we haven't met yet, our chats and phone conversations brought Me a great calmness, a peace, there was not tug of war, yet he was stimulating, energetic, funny, I saw very easily the movement from man to sub to boy--which is what I want in a relationship-- and maybe its even after play and O/one says, "yeah I want that feeling again...cause the earth moved..."

peppermint379 -> RE: Searching and Finding (12/13/2005 7:11:23 AM)
We met at a BDSM activity. We talked, played, had a good time...but nothing serious. Afterward we did a lot of emailing and talking on the phone. Then we met again for 2 weeks when i had some vacation time. It was the fastest 2 weeks of my life. quote: Regardless of the means by which we search, how do we know if we have found the right person? I knew when the thought of giving up my job and leaving the island that has been home to me for over 20 years wasn't scary anymore.

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