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RE: Searching and Finding - 12/13/2005 7:42:39 AM

OscarHargraves

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Hi Candy!
Can I throw my 'two cents worth' in? (Yeah, I'm going to anyway.)
I don't believe you have to know him when you meet him. I believe love grows with the relationship. The more you see of each other the more you like each other. The more you are with him the more you want to be with him. I'm sure there are people who have experienced 'love at first sight' but the truth is that most of us don't 'fall in love' we 'grow' our love for that person by finding out more and more about them. Sometimes it's just the little things that can make all the difference about how we feel for someone. Don't fret about knowing him when you meet him. Get the idea that you want to GET to know him. If he can pass your minimum requirements for looks, life style, decency and honor so that you'll go out with him then start asking yourself if you are spending more and more time thinking about him. If that happens then he may just be on his way to becoming the luckiest guy in America.

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RE: Searching and Finding - 12/13/2005 7:54:41 AM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
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Time, and faith, I guess. I thought I had the right one, at one time. We had a deep, primal connection---chemistry cubed, if you will. But that didn't extend to all parts of the relationship, and it certainly didn't make up for all of his damage, or the new damage he tried to create in me.

I thought I found a match recently, but really it was just hope and loneliness reaching out. Surfaces can be wonderful, but the stuff underneath isn't always right for us---it takes more than interests in common to make a dream match, too! Honestly, it's almost harder to turn your back on someone decent, who just doesn't fit the bill.......

:)Francine

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RE: Searching and Finding - 12/13/2005 8:37:44 AM

Mercnbeth

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quote:

how do we know if we have found the right person?

it reminds this slave of a question she had when she was 8 1/2 months pregnant with the first unmentionable----HOW will this slave know when labor has actually started? After 3 weeks of "Braxton-Hicks" contractions, slow but steady dilation, and both doctor's saying "aaaaaanytime!" all anyone could say was "You WILL know"......indeed, when it happened, it was as if a clanging bell was going off in this slave's head at 3:30 in the morning. it was unmistakable, like nothing this slave has ever felt. Woke straight up and rushed to the hospital. 4 hours later it was over, but this slave has remembered that overwhelming, overpowering compulsion... the "this is IT!!!!" it is the same feeling this slave gets when she reflects on the relationship she has with Master---"this is IT!"

just like when you have found the perfect "job", or place to live, it might not have seemed like it at the beginning, hell, there might even have been some folks or situations at first that gave you initial misgivings, but after a short while, you feel as if you are perfectly suited for the job or location. you embrace the challenges and get past them, instead of throwing up your hands and saying "this isn't perfect, i quit!"

Most importantly, there is NO way to know unless you experience it. Sort of like labor, just not so messy.

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RE: Searching and Finding - 12/13/2005 8:43:00 AM

ProtagonistLily

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Joined: 12/27/2004
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quote:

Laughs; one of my Purgatory scenes is sitting in on a committee that cannot stay on-point, etc. How i hated such meetings in state government, LOL.

Lily, dear, i am not asking what sort of character my One should have; i am asking how do i recognise it when i have met me One?

candystripper

Babe, that's such a hard question. What I felt like when all of the energy around me and him finally became one stream instead of two is individual I think. It's almost as if we are made of Legos and one day when he took my hand, the sticky out parts on his fit into the holes on mine (oh god, someone call Dr. Freud...).

I think you just know. If your mind is quiet and you aren't thinking about your doubts, then he's probably the one.

I'd also pay attention to your sex life. If you are having the best orgasms you ever had, if you feel like you could do anything and after you get out of the sack, you still feel like that when you are doing mundane things like grocery shopping or cleaning the bathroom, he's probably the one.

It's so hard to describe this....

Lily

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RE: Searching and Finding - 12/13/2005 9:41:18 AM

candystripper

Posts: 3486
Joined: 11/1/2005
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quote:

Babe, that's such a hard question. What I felt like when all of the energy around me and him finally became one stream instead of two is individual I think. It's almost as if we are made of Legos and one day when he took my hand, the sticky out parts on his fit into the holes on mine (oh god, someone call Dr. Freud...).

I think you just know. If your mind is quiet and you aren't thinking about your doubts, then he's probably the one.

I'd also pay attention to your sex life. If you are having the best orgasms you ever had, if you feel like you could do anything and after you get out of the sack, you still feel like that when you are doing mundane things like grocery shopping or cleaning the bathroom, he's probably the one.

It's so hard to describe this....

Lily

But it sounds as if you've known it....my congrats, dear.

candystripper

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RE: Searching and Finding - 12/13/2005 9:43:32 AM

truesub4u

Posts: 2949
Joined: 11/17/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

quote:

how do we know if we have found the right person?

it reminds this slave of a question she had when she was 8 1/2 months pregnant with the first unmentionable----HOW will this slave know when labor has actually started? After 3 weeks of "Braxton-Hicks" contractions, slow but steady dilation, and both doctor's saying "aaaaaanytime!" all anyone could say was "You WILL know"......indeed, when it happened, it was as if a clanging bell was going off in this slave's head at 3:30 in the morning. it was unmistakable, like nothing this slave has ever felt. Woke straight up and rushed to the hospital. 4 hours later it was over, but this slave has remembered that overwhelming, overpowering compulsion... the "this is IT!!!!" it is the same feeling this slave gets when she reflects on the relationship she has with Master---"this is IT!"

4 hours and it was over!!!???....... First one!!??... Man.. some people have all the damn luck!!.. LOL

Trying 27 hours with first one.... and really wondering why I was stupid enough to go for #2. But loved every minute of that too.. #2 was only 13 hours...

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RE: Searching and Finding - 12/13/2005 9:51:03 AM

candystripper

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quote:

4 hours and it was over!!!???....... First one!!??... Man.. some people have all the damn luck!!.. LOL

Trying 27 hours with first one.... and really wondering why I was stupid enough to go for #2. But loved every minute of that too.. #2 was only 13 hours...

truesub4u

Now if we're gonna start telling delivery stories, i think we need a new thread. Mine was a horror. But generally, i am opposed to repeating these stories because they frighten pregnant women, especially ones carrying their 1st child.

candystripper

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RE: Searching and Finding - 12/13/2005 10:17:46 AM

Mercnbeth

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quote:

Now if we're gonna start telling delivery stories, i think we need a new thread. Mine was a horror. But generally, i am opposed to repeating these stories because they frighten pregnant women, especially ones carrying their 1st child.

with all due respect, candystripper, the reason this slave made the connection and related a small piece of her delivery story is because of the parallel she felt with the seemingly unanswerable question--"When will this slave KNOW when labor has really begun" was met with such vague statements such as "You WILL know". It's a whole lot like the question you asked when you started this thread, and a VERRRRRY important one that one has whenever entering into such a leap of faith and careful planning, be it a relationship with a significant other or the birth of a unmentionable. You walk through the Valley of the Shadow of Death when you give your life over to another AND when you give birth to another. Both very powerful and life-changing experiences that this slave prayed in earnest God was holding her in the palm of His hand. But, being a knowledge-seeker, this slave spent a considerable amount of time asking questions. From doctors & midwives to mothers&fathers.

why shouldn't we tell horror stories and scare the newbies? personally, this slave sought out every woman she knew and even those she didn't that had a "delivery story" to tell, because she knew already that EVERY woman is different and experiences the pregnancy and the labor and delivery differently. Both doctors encouraged this slave to gather as much knowledge as possible and to be as prepared as possible for the physical change and challenge of delivery, because this slave wanted NO anesthetic. this slave prepared like she was preparing for a Decathalon! call it luck, genetics, God's mercy, a strict vegetarian diet, being in the best physical shape of this slave's life, what-ever-you-like, and not once, but 3 times Labor and Delivery totalled 4 hours. it parallels seeking out advice on a message board or through real-life contact with people who live in a M/s or D/s relationships. sure, it won't necessarily be a model for YOUR future relationship, but it helps to expand your mind, help you make your own decisions about how you might feel in a D/s or M/s relationship. because, to the uninformed, closed-minded "vanilla" world, we're all just a bunch of sick and often-times abusive perverts!

< Message edited by Mercnbeth -- 12/13/2005 10:20:08 AM >

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RE: Searching and Finding - 12/13/2005 8:33:55 PM

Shayna

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Joined: 1/16/2005
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I completely agree with Mspurr and Oscar. Perhaps it's cause I've been "there" a number of times, only to find out that it wasn't the connection that I thought. I'm in the midst of another new beginning and who the heck knows if he's "it". I'll tell ya in a few years....if he's still around

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RE: Searching and Finding - 12/13/2005 9:09:13 PM

Sunshine119

Posts: 611
Joined: 8/8/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: slavejali

i heard somene say this once and it stuck with me... "They fit like an old shoe"

LOL. I met my "One" in a vanilla setting. We went out on our first date. As sweat droplets trickled down my spine, all I was aware of was how much I wouldn't be able to control this relationship. I had always wanted my man to be A MAN but had no idea what that really meant. When he asked me out a second time, for a lunch date, I still had no idea of what he was into. I was so terrified, I got lost and never found the place before we both had to get back to work. The terror was not that of being afraid of him physically, as he is gentle, caring, intellegent and loving. But, it was clear from our conversations between that first and aborted second date that, for the first time in my life, I wasn't about to get my way in all things (or most for that matter).

The pit of my stomach knew he was right for me. And the pit of my stomach was screaming that it didn't want to ever give up control. I was nauseaus for the first six months. A year later, the pit in my stomach has turned to butterflies at the sound of his voice, the approach of his steps and the sound of his hand as it makes contact with my bare ass!

An old shoe? Much of what we do is extremely comfortable in that manner, but wow, there is still so much to learn and experience. So much to do, so much to say (or not), so much to serve. God....he takes my breath away. No, not an old shoe at all.

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