Mercnbeth
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Starting to hear from friends you only hear from when we realize the lies we told each other last year have expired with another year passing. You know the lies where we PROMISE to take a trip to visit each other on the other coast. Although I never would admit it to their face, because the true feeling of inferiority and competition is not between NY and Boston, it's NY and Philly with NJ providing the DMZ; I had some great times in Philly with the great friends I had back there.
As I was responding to this morning's email where he tried his best to make me homesick. Just considering that this morning the South Bay was a "chilly" 63, and Philly will not break the 30 degree mark - "I ain't goin' nowhere!" But I sent him these warm thoughts, and thought that others who spent time in Philly, PA would appreciate them too.
Happy Festivus my friend! No "airing" of the grievances - and I WILL get back there this year!
You Know You're From or In Pennsylvania If...
You've never referred to Philadelphia as anything but "Philly." And New Jersey has always been "Jersey."
You refer to Pennsylvania as "PA" (pronounced Peeay). How many other states do that?
You know what "Punxsutawney Phil" ( A Ground Hog) is, and what it means if he sees his shadow.
The first day of buck and the first day of doe season are school holidays.
You can't go to a wedding without hearing the "Chicken Dance," at least 1 Polka and either an Italian song (sung in Italian) or "Hava Nagila."
At least 5 people on your block have electric "candles" in all or most of their windows all year long.
You know what a "Hex sign" is.
You know what a "State Store" is, and your out of state friends find it incredulous that you can't purchase liquor at the mini-mart.
You own only three condiments "salt, pepper and Heinz ketchup."
Words like "hoagie", "crick", "chipped ham", "sticky buns", "shoo-fly pie", "pirogies" and "pocketbook" actually mean something to you.
You can eat cold pizza (even for breakfast) and know others who do the same. (Those from NY find this "barbaric".)
You not only have heard of Birch Beer, but you know it comes in several colors: Red, White, Brown, Gold.
You know several places to purchase or that serve Scrapple, Pork Roll, Summer Sausage (Lebanon Bologna), and Hot Bacon Dressing.
You can eat a cold soft pretzel from a street vendor without fear and enjoy it.
You know the difference between a cheese steak & a pizza steak sandwich, and know that you can't get a really good one outside PA.
You live for summer, when street and county fairs signal the beginning of funnel cake season.
You know that Blue Ball, Intercourse, Climax, Bird-in-Hand, Beaver, Moon, Virginville, Paradise, Mars, and Slippery Rock are PA towns.
You know what a township, borough, and commonwealth is.
You can identify drivers from New York, New Jersey, Ohio, or other neighboring states by their unique and irritating driving habits.
A traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a horse-drawn carriage on the highway in Lancaster County.
You know several people who have hit deer more than once.
You carry jumper cables in your car and your female passengers know how to use them.
You still keep kitty litter, starting fluid, de-icer, or a snow brush in your trunk, even if you live in the South.
Driving is always better in winter because the potholes are filled with snow.
As a kid you built snow forts and leaf piles that were taller than you were.
Your graduating class consisted of mostly Polish, German, & Italian names.
"You guys" and "ynz" is a perfectly acceptable reference to a group of men & women.
You know how to respond to the question "Djeetyet?" (Didyoueatyet?)
You learned to pronounce Bryn Mawr, Wilkes-Barre, Schuylkill, Bala Cynwyd, Conshohocken, and Monongahela.
You know what a "Mummer" is, and are disappointed if you can't catch at least highlights of the parade.
And finally, an old joke that had to be kept in storage for the past few years....
Little David was in his 5th grade class when the teacher asked the children what their fathers did for a living. All the typical came up- fireman,policeman,salesman, etc. David was being uncharacteristically quiet and so the teacher asked him about his father.
"My father's an exotic dancer in a gay bar and takes off all his clothes in front of other men. Sometimes, if the offers really good, he'll go out to the alley with some guy and make love with him for money."
The teacher, obviously shaken by this statement, hurriedly set the other children to work on some coloring, and took Little David aside to ask him, "Is that really true about your father?"
"No," said David, "He plays for the Philadelphia Eagles , but I was too embarrassed to say that in front of the other kids."
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