RE: What does "training" mean to you?

RE: What does "training" mean to you? (Full Version)

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VonneCat -> RE: What does "training" mean to you? (10/26/2008 5:48:32 PM)
I think that a good Dom needs to know how to listen to his sub and know what she needs and doesn't need emotionally. I also belive that there ought to be a certification process for people to practice as Dom's. Safty and Health regulations, ect.

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: What does "training" mean to you? (10/26/2008 6:10:06 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: VonneCat I think that a good Dom needs to know how to listen to his sub and know what she needs and doesn't need emotionally. I also belive that there ought to be a certification process for people to practice as Dom's. Safty and Health regulations, ect. Why not subs? Why shouldn't they know safety and other regulations? What about a dom who never engages in kinky play? If a dom lacks good listening skills, should his slave help train him?

Padriag -> RE: What does "training" mean to you? (10/26/2008 6:54:33 PM)
In my view training is the process of educating someone not only in what a behavior should be, but to actively engage in that behavior successfully. For example... Education tells us how to cook a steak, the steps involved, the ingredients to use, they types of meat to choose from. Training is the process of learning to apply that knowledge in the actual behavior of cooking a steak, practicing it until we can actually cook it correctly. Everyone needs training throughout our lives... whether that be "potty" training as young children, training in how to drive a car as teenagers, combat training should we join the military, job training for various professions and careers... and of course training in kinks and fetishes. I'm of the view that both dominants and submissives need training. Being dominant is one thing, knowing how to effectively dominate someone in a 24/7 relationship is a whole other animal and I believe most dominants could use with both education and training in this area... which is unfortunately in short supply. Much the same could be said for submissives, in addition to all the various fetishes, kinks and other behaviors a dominant might desire or require... which might even include how to cook a good steak.

MasterKeeps -> Closure on training (well, for now) (10/26/2008 7:37:30 PM)
Yes, agreed, much training is highly individualized. A, um, remote trainer could never presume to know what training might benefit a specific couple. At the same time there are universal skills that a dominant may not be in a position to teach--"cooking," was mentioned. Massage is another, learning to better understand the gender in question and to anticipate h/er desires is important. How many of us can balance a checkbook? Formal food service can be quite impressive when a submissive is called on to entertain the dom's guests. Beyond this I think that a certain degree of behavior modification may be called for: learning to be patient, to enjoy adversity and hardship, reading aloud to the Dom's children. Casting off the sexual component of training may be premature. How many submissives have attended a class on fellatio? Generally speaking, we always have some room for improvement in nearly everything we do, no?

mbes -> RE: Closure on training (well, for now) (10/26/2008 7:50:55 PM)
People need training on reading aloud to kids? Really? Who would teach me to anticipate his needs better than he will? Does anyone else know what those needs are? For that matter, who on earth is going to tell me what he wants in a blow job better than he is?

tazzygirl -> RE: Closure on training (well, for now) (10/26/2008 8:20:54 PM)
hi MasterKeeps hello everyone i was thinking the same thing as you, MasterKeep. massage, cooking classes (lots of men like different foods... i learned italian with my last live in), serving formally. you could even go into dance.. lap dances, erotic dancing, strip teases. hostessing.. never know when that may be handy.. and its not as easy as it sounds, heck, setting a formal table can be a nightmare! some women dont know how to clean... and i do mean a thorough cleaning.. yes.. it can be tweaked to the man's desire, but, how much less tweaking there would be if you knew how to do it professionally! laundry.,. gesh.. its not a given that every woman knows how to iron correctly! high protocol and what to do in a lifestyle setting... for me, that would be daunting to learn! learning to play games.. chess... backgammon.. poker.. lol... why not? how about taking care of toys... even someone mentioned boots.. good choice. and what if your Master/Sir/Daddy/ect decided you should go there to be trained? why does it always fall to the man to train us? why cant we take it upon ourselves to learn something interesting or fascinating to surprise him with? ah, the possibilities tazzy

VonneCat -> RE: What does "training" mean to you? (10/26/2008 8:29:24 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross quote: ORIGINAL: VonneCat I think that a good Dom needs to know how to listen to his sub and know what she needs and doesn't need emotionally. I also belive that there ought to be a certification process for people to practice as Dom's. Safty and Health regulations, ect. Why not subs? Why shouldn't they know safety and other regulations? What about a dom who never engages in kinky play? Sure, why not. I mean just because I didn't sugest it doesn't mean its not a great idea. A Dom who never engages in kinky play should still be aware of the rules if he is going to be in the community. Speaking as a Dom, I never ment to disinclude subs in what I was saying. Its just that I see some of what goes on, and I think some level of standarized accountabilty ought to be around for people like me. Obviously Subs should be educated too, please don't inturpret my comment as anything but what it was, a nod toward the need for a more extensive look at the "Risk Aware" side of Risk Aware Concentual Kink. quote: If a dom lacks good listening skills, should his slave help train him? I'm biased. If a Dom lacks good listening skills, why should he get to keep a slave? A Dom who can't meet the needs of his slave won't get to stay a Dom for very long. But thats my opinion, and I get to keep it.

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: What does "training" mean to you? (10/26/2008 9:22:33 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: VonneCat I'm biased. If a Dom lacks good listening skills, why should he get to keep a slave? A Dom who can't meet the needs of his slave won't get to stay a Dom for very long. But thats my opinion, and I get to keep it. Ahh nice double standard there- if a slave is untrained, well she just needs working on from the benevolent dom. If a dom is untrained, well he doesn't deserve to be with anyone.

VonneCat -> RE: What does "training" mean to you? (10/26/2008 9:35:22 PM)
I am pretty sure that thats not how I described it. I don't think that a sub needs more training. I mentioned earlier that my view on training is that it ought to be educational. "Training" is either educational or a misnomer for playing. As far as a Dom who refuses to take the time to listen to his sub, thats not something that I think is learned. You either choose to pay attention to your sub, or you are selfish and only listen to your own needs. There is nothing double standard about it. Being a Dom or a sub is an apptitude. How well it is expressed can be developed, but there is no excuse for not choosing to listen the needs of your partner. If there is something unclear about this, please let me know. What your missing in this is a third element. Practice. If there is something that can be developed, it is developed by practicing the life style. Is there something about my remarks that are personally upsetting to you??? If so please PM me. I'd be happy to discuss that with you elsewhere.

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: What does "training" mean to you? (10/26/2008 9:39:23 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: VonneCat As far as a Dom who refuses to take the time to listen to his sub, thats not something that I think is learned. Then your thinking is wrong. Trust me, none of this is personal. But you state all this stuff about how much you support training a sub, and then I bring up one instance of training a skill in a dom and you claim he is simply not worth having a partner.

catize -> RE: Closure on training (well, for now) (10/26/2008 9:51:44 PM)
quote: --"cooking," was mentioned. Massage is another, There are plenty of reasonably priced classes that teach these basic skills in the community. Books are our friends! I learned foot massage from a book—it’s not rocket science!. quote: learning to better understand the gender in question Over reaching a bit here, I believe. quote: How many of us can balance a checkbook? And definitely under reaching here! quote: learning to be patient, to enjoy adversity and hardship, I believe a smidgen of introspection would enable pretty much anyone to learn patience; and I’m not sure why anyone should learn to enjoy hardship. I believe most folks have endured adversity and have learned from it. quote: reading aloud to the Dom's children. WTF??? quote: How many submissives have attended a class on fellatio? Fellatio 101 may be a great fantasy but I’m thinkin’ you’d have more ~cough~ teachers than students---or were you keeping that one for yourself?

NuevaVida -> RE: What does "training" mean to you? (10/26/2008 10:40:01 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: juliaoceania I just responded on this thread with my opinion on this http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=2232557 That's pretty much how I feel about training. Training not on a specific task, but training of the mind. I suppose it can be both, but I pretty much instantly think of emotional and thought training first.

NuevaVida -> RE: What does "training" mean to you? (10/26/2008 10:45:47 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: VonneCat As far as a Dom who refuses to take the time to listen to his sub, thats not something that I think is learned. You either choose to pay attention to your sub, or you are selfish and only listen to your own needs. I disagree. Listening is a skill, and one that can be learned, if someone is willing. They teach those skills in management classes all over the country, and it works. quote: Being a Dom or a sub is an apptitude. How well it is expressed can be developed, but there is no excuse for not choosing to listen the needs of your partner. It is an excuse if listening is an aptitude one has not fully developed yet. Skills can be taught, learned, developed and practiced. Not that you're doing this, but I think a lot of people see the terms of "training" only in how it relates to the submissive. For many dominants, the idea of being the recipient of training seems too undomly for them.

ProlificNeeds -> RE: What does "training" mean to you? (10/26/2008 11:02:01 PM)
You can train me to serve tea, you can train me in various dining or serving protocols from various lands and time periods... you can train me how to ride a horse, make a basket, or shoot a gun. Never once found someone who could train me in being myself. Closest you could come would be a skills-workshop with neat skills to learn for serving others. The rest is in your head.

WannaSPOON -> RE: What does "training" mean to you? (10/27/2008 12:03:54 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross quote: ORIGINAL: VonneCat The term training, should apply to Doms with novice subs who are introducing their partner to the lifestyle. I really don't think that it should last much longer than teaching that person the tools of the trade. (IE: this is a ball gag, it goes in your mouth, ect) Training ought to be genuinely educational. Training some one to do what you like in a consistant manner can only happen after that stage, and IMHO is really just scene play. So doms never need training in behavior or thought processes? So you think that training my partner to become someone who reviews the positive as well as the negative aspects of a situation, to feel confident in asserting himself and to say no when necessary, to stop his guilt before it consumes and paralyzes him and stop taking on the burdens of the world has nothing to do with "training"? Nope, sorry. Not at all[;)][:)].

VonneCat -> RE: What does "training" mean to you? (10/27/2008 2:34:26 AM)
k I'm wrong. w/e

sunshinemiss -> RE: What does "training" mean to you? (10/27/2008 3:32:37 AM)
TO the OP: you might want to introduce yourself to the search button in the upper right hand corner. This topic has been discussed ad nauseum. good luck, sunshine

sunshinemiss -> RE: What does "training" mean to you? (10/27/2008 3:36:33 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: chamberqueen . I had to laugh when a sub I was training told me how much she loves to tell people to "scat" and I explained the other meaning behind it. Hey that's a great idea! Teach subs to appreciate jazz... THAT would be worthwhile. heh.

natasha66 -> RE: What does "training" mean to you? (10/27/2008 6:40:22 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross So doms never need training in behavior or thought processes? i personally know of one who could have benefitted from that LOL. He's no longer in my life.

leadership527 -> RE: What does "training" mean to you? (10/27/2008 7:12:07 AM)
~fast reply~ "training" to me is all about role adoption and behavior modification. Teaching mine to make me a drink the way I like it is "discussion", not training. In this view, not all subs/doms require training and yes, it applies equally to doms as to subs.

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