Maintenance Topping, part 2

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Maintenance Topping, part 2 - 10/26/2008 10:34:57 AM

LadyPact

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Of course this came from the other thread. How else could it be part two?

We all thought about topping to help maintain the well being, emotional health, etc., of the bottoms, subs, s-types in our lives. Now, what about us? There was something said in the other thread that I could absolutely identify with. I hope Shatki won't mind Me using it here.

quote:

ORIGINAL: ShaktiSama

Sometimes I am in a mood to be in a better mood.

This got Me thinking a lot. Yes, I have most certainly done this. I've played just because I wanted to feel better. I know there have been times that I just wanted the escape of a good Top space. I wanted to let go of whatever it was that was going on in My life for a little while. I need something else to focus on. For a short period of time, whatever it is that is bothering Me can be put aside.

When I play, I don't necessarily think of other things. The troubles of the world are off of My shoulders. I don't have to be anything to anyone, except a Top to that bottom. (Ok, that's not necessarily true. I'm still a wife to My husband and a Dominant to My submissive.) The external things fade. I'm not worried about concerns over My health, paying the light bill, or those outside influences that might plague My mind.

I'm just wondering. Does anyone else ever look at playing this way? Do you ever Top just because you are in the mood to be in a better mood?

Edited for a capitalization error.

< Message edited by LadyPact -- 10/26/2008 10:36:07 AM >

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RE: Maintenance Topping, part 2 - 10/26/2008 5:05:43 PM

thetammyjo

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Yes, I have dommed and topped to help me process some BS from other parts of my life but I don't do heavy scenes in these situations even though my slave has offered himself for that reason. It's a safety thing for me personally.

I have also helped Fox out of a crappy mood or with a bad day by ordering him to do things or giving him an extra smack on the ass or even a slap on the face. It wasn't about what he wanted, it was about knowing after years what will work.

Most immediate example is an hour or two ago when we went grocery shopping.

I turned around and he was frowning off at nothing and I asked him what was wrong. He said he felt bad, angry, wasn't sure, couldn't focus. So I pulled his face to face me and hissed "Pay attention to me right now" and then smiled and kept touching him repeating the order and checking in.

It wasn't about fun it was about need.

Is that maintenance topping or scening?

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RE: Maintenance Topping, part 2 - 10/26/2008 6:48:45 PM

LadyPact

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I would think maintenance, for your sake, your slave's, or both.

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Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

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RE: Maintenance Topping, part 2 - 10/27/2008 9:19:24 AM

thetammyjo

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

I would think maintenance, for your sake, your slave's, or both.

I guess I'm still stuck on the original thread where maintenance implied doing it to keep the relationship.

We don't do any of this to keep our relationship but because we care about each other and understand each other.

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Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

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RE: Maintenance Topping, part 2 - 10/27/2008 2:05:28 PM

CallaFirestormBW

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I definitely top to help deal with external stuff (I'll bottom for the same reason). I really relate to what Shakti said, because I think that sometimes, the solution to "I don't want to..." is to get up and do it anyway. Somehow, even for things that aren't as much fun (for me) as piercing or cutting, the satisfaction that I get from the intensity and the attention to detail is enough to improve my mood and attitude... and then, I find that I often want more.

Especially when we went through our dark period after losing part of our core, it was -very- hard to find anything we really -wanted- to do. Only by treating it as 'required maintenance' did I manage to find a place where I could enjoy myself again... or where I even -wanted- to enjoy myself again.

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RE: Maintenance Topping, part 2 - 10/27/2008 2:39:20 PM

mummyman321

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A person Top's or bottom's because they do get enjoyment from it. People have stress for many reasons but to be able to relieve that stress in a healthy manor is always good. For some of us, Topping or bottoming allows us to escape and release all the stress/worries of the day.

Many times this is refered to as Top space and or sub space. Physically on the molecular lever in the body a very interesting thing happens. If Topping or bottoming is a form or relation for you, then your body releases Endorphins and Enkephalines during this activity. These are opioid polypeptide compounds that latch on to nerve receptors in the body and brain and can produce a state of euphoria. It is possible in this state to block almost all pain.

The Top or bottoms who are more or less addicted to these feelings are people who know how to relax enough to release these chemicals via Topping or bottoming. And its not always as easy as it sounds. Some people are able to tap into there inner body and achieve a very deep state of relaxtion because their body is releasing higher amounts of Endorphines and Enkephalines.

last piece, it does not require BDSM to release endorphines and enkephalines in your body. You do it every time you find a way to relax. Some use exercise, some read a book. They key is finding the trigger that does it for you.

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RE: Maintenance Topping, part 2 - 10/27/2008 9:02:07 PM

ShaktiSama

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Heh. Guilty as charged, obviously. I make full use of my submissive as a comfort doll and stress relief device. He has informed me that we need to test his effectiveness more thoroughly, in order to make it, you know, more scientific.

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RE: Maintenance Topping, part 2 - 10/28/2008 10:54:31 AM

LadyHibiscus

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I hope you're both taking careful notes! In the name of research, and all.

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RE: Maintenance Topping, part 2 - 10/28/2008 11:19:27 PM

aidan

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quote:

ORIGINAL: ShaktiSama

Heh. Guilty as charged, obviously. I make full use of my submissive as a comfort doll and stress relief device. He has informed me that we need to test his effectiveness more thoroughly, in order to make it, you know, more scientific.

I am if nothing else a boykin of science. *nods sagely*

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RE: Maintenance Topping, part 2 - 10/29/2008 12:27:16 AM

MasterFireMaam

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Playing to hide from life will have negative consequences, in my opinion. However, playing to help your mind be able to process life..that's positive intent! Same for sex...and chocolate. ;-)

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RE: Maintenance Topping, part 2 - 10/29/2008 7:19:50 AM

LadyPact

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I'd have to say that I don't see it as playing to hide from life nearly as much as I do as taking a break from it. I look at it the same way I do as stepping out to lunch during a particularly stressful day at work or taking a bubble bath to have some peace when the um's are driving a person a bit batty. It's not like not going back to work or back to face the little people. It's more like an attitude adjustment to keep yourself balanced to be in a better frame of mind to deal with those things.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

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