Learning to be who I am - a slave (Full Version)

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Irished -> Learning to be who I am - a slave (10/26/2008 1:04:21 PM)

Hi all,

I have been on collarme for a month or so now and I have chatted to some really amazing dommes.  I have however not managed to begin my life as a slave.  Some dommes were too hard and for me a 'vifgin' slave, I feel that I get too scared when asked to commit to TPE on day one.  I really need to be drawn into the lifestyle and I believe I can then over time do TPE.

I am very dominant in ny world of business but I inherently know that I am most comfortable and free when I submit to a superior woman..........that is my destination.

I am not sure I will find this but I hope.

I think the dommes here are overwhelmed with sub requests and its hard to get past the noise.  I am not perfect but I am sincere.  I also dont want to spend my life on collarme, but rather at the feet of my Mistress.

so any advice for what a Mistress wants in a slave?

so close yet so far

ed



Venatrix -> RE: Learning to be who I am - a slave (10/26/2008 1:11:52 PM)

Patience.



Irished -> RE: Learning to be who I am - a slave (10/26/2008 1:21:04 PM)

Hi Venatrix,

thanks so much for the encouragement.  I will try.  Its just difficult to be emailing when no one replies.  I guess its my own fault......I often do not reveal everything about myself upfront.  Perhaps I should have a standard email describing who I am - but people hate the cut and paste email.
ed



Madame4a -> RE: Learning to be who I am - a slave (10/26/2008 1:27:37 PM)

patience in time; grass turns to milk



Irished -> RE: Learning to be who I am - a slave (10/26/2008 1:32:27 PM)

thanks Madame4a

I love that expression - grass turns to milk  - very smart

I just want a woman to lead me to submission - where I yearn to live
ed



Venatrix -> RE: Learning to be who I am - a slave (10/26/2008 1:43:19 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Irished

Hi Venatrix,

thanks so much for the encouragement.  I will try.  Its just difficult to be emailing when no one replies.  I guess its my own fault......I often do not reveal everything about myself upfront.  Perhaps I should have a standard email describing who I am - but people hate the cut and paste email.
ed


I know.  And I'm one of the guilty parties.  As I point out in my journal, if someone chooses to write, s/he has to be prepared to wait a long time for an answer.  If you get 10-20 emails a day, it doesn't take long for them to add up, and good people often get lost in all the spam.  There's nothing wrong with a form letter email, as long as you spend a couple of minutes tweaking it to indicate that you've read the woman's profile and stressing why you think you'd be a good match for *her*.



LadyHibiscus -> RE: Learning to be who I am - a slave (10/26/2008 1:46:01 PM)

I agree with Venatrix, and I want to add that it's important to hit the highlights about yourself and your capabilities, but you do NOT have to share every detail right away.  That will come out later, in conversation.

I get a lot of email, and my friends and I often use the mail as a chat function, so I can lose track of my mail sometimes.  Once a week I try to go back and figure out who got left out, vs. who got ignored on purpose. [:)]



Irished -> RE: Learning to be who I am - a slave (10/26/2008 1:57:56 PM)

thanks ladies..........I guess I will spend more time on my email...............what things about a sub are you interested in...the bdsm stuff, the vanila, stuff, the history?



LadyHibiscus -> RE: Learning to be who I am - a slave (10/26/2008 2:01:22 PM)

I am interested in both, really!  I have found that a kink match is really important, and not something that you can make up for or compromise on in a large degree.    We can't play all the time, though, so what a person likes to do, and their general experience is good to know as well.  What are your eventual goals?  Do you have children or family that require your time?  What is your experience, and what makes you want to serve?



Irished -> RE: Learning to be who I am - a slave (10/26/2008 2:01:31 PM)

the more I explore this lifestyle the more I know I am ready.............and the more I know I have to learn.  I know that learning comes truly from experience so I know I need experience.    I would love to have real friends that I could submit to......that would be nirvana



Venatrix -> RE: Learning to be who I am - a slave (10/26/2008 2:05:33 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Irished

thanks ladies..........I guess I will spend more time on my email...............what things about a sub are you interested in...the bdsm stuff, the vanila, stuff, the history?


Well, as I said in another thread on this forum, my vanilla requirements for a life partner are fairly strict, and are laid out in my profile, just because I know what works for me.  Because of that, I'm willing to be a lot more flexible on the BDSM "stuff."  If I were interested in casual play, my requirements would be a lot different - the vanilla would be less important and getting someone to submit to my preferred kinks would be more so.  So, there's no easy answer to your question.



Irished -> RE: Learning to be who I am - a slave (10/26/2008 2:10:55 PM)

Hi LadyHibiscus

Thanks for these questions - they make sense:

My kink:
I adore the mental aspects to this life - looking into my Mistress's eyes making deep eye contact as she slaps my face - accepting that is is how it is - I want to feel the slave, to be whipped ( though not sure my limits), and to love my Mistress for it - to know that it is my job to serve her - to massage her , to lick and kiss her feel, to server her orally (both pussy and ass) for hours if she requires it. to allow her to play with me as an object or a property - so that she can grow as a domme and the superior female she is.

In my vanilla like - I love life - I have travelled expensively - 44 countries; I love the theater, movies, socializing - friends and food and wine.  I am very easy going, very well read and genuinely nice guy.  I am very hard working and very successful.

yes I have family - I tried to do this within my family but it was impossible.  so it is important that I maintain my responsibilities both financially and eotionally to them.  Thats what I promised that is what I will do  - always.

I have very little experience.  why I want to serve - my life would be easier if I did not -but it is a burning desire and if I look back all my relationships had me becoming very subservient to my g/f.  I just never knew - some even abused me and I accepted it as their rights.


ed



Ferns -> RE: Learning to be who I am - a slave (10/26/2008 2:16:17 PM)

I see you are in New York.  Have you tried going to TES, or contacting some folks in the organisation to get more information on options?  

They have a novice night once a month and recently a workshop that caught my eye was 'dominant women, submissive men and singletails'... heaven!

Ferns



Irished -> RE: Learning to be who I am - a slave (10/26/2008 2:18:56 PM)

Hi there Ferns,

I did attend that event !!!

I met a domme there and we went for a drink - but she just wanted money in the end - not what I want - I want friendship and to really experience this in a big way - not just a quick 1 hour here and there



Ferns -> RE: Learning to be who I am - a slave (10/26/2008 2:19:08 PM)

Irished, I also notice this in your profile.

"I would love to explore this lifestyle with nice easy going female and grow to be your slave or dom."

It doesn't fit with what you are saying you are looking for...

Ferns



Irished -> RE: Learning to be who I am - a slave (10/26/2008 2:26:13 PM)

oops - serious type - correcting now



Ferns -> RE: Learning to be who I am - a slave (10/26/2008 2:36:42 PM)

Irished,

Were you the boy with the hat?

I'm sorry to hear about the Domme who wanted money, really disappointing, however it would be unlikely to meet your 'one' at a first outing regardless.  I'd have thought the purpose would largely be to meet a bunch of people and so start to get a network of friends who may one day introduce you to her.  Maybe showing up at workshops regularly would help get your face known and those involved may introduce you to others etc.

All in all, it's just hard and takes time (terribly helpful comment I know!).

Ferns





Irished -> RE: Learning to be who I am - a slave (10/26/2008 2:40:37 PM)

Hi Ferns,

no - I was wearing a suit - came from work.  who were you..........it was a lot of fun..........I love Australian (I am Irish) - what do you look like? did we meet - I did chat with others at the end



Ferns -> RE: Learning to be who I am - a slave (10/26/2008 2:50:23 PM)

Irished,

I have just sent you a CM mail.

Ferns



Usako -> RE: Learning to be who I am - a slave (10/26/2008 2:55:06 PM)

1) Be honest with yourself and with the woman you look to attract. Figure the what out before looking for the who.
2) Make the profile a bit flashier. As said, I feel both vanilla and kink are important. Especially if you're looking for something longer term.
3) Don't only use CM! There are other kink sites out there, expand the net.
4) Do real time more! If needed go to as many munches and events and parties as finicially and time wise possible!
5) Patience. You're fighting an up hill battle against wankers and against dommes who just want money. Gotta be a tree with strong roots to withstand the wind pushing you back.



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