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Red light, yellow light - 12/13/2005 2:42:55 PM

fastlane

Posts: 2159
Joined: 5/26/2005
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You are having a relationship and all of a sudden....Red light. For whatever reason it ends.
Soon, it resumes. Green light.
Do you go back from square one or pick it up from where it left off at, with caution..yellow light.
How can you go back to square one? I can't, but then again, I am in the fastlane.
wreckage is always in my mirror.

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Just because it hurts, doesn't necessarily make it a bad thing.

Post #: 1

RE: Red light, yellow light - 12/13/2005 2:59:52 PM

DesertRat

Posts: 2774
Joined: 11/29/2004
From: NM/USA
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Continuing with your analogy, I'd like to suggest, with all due respect, that the fast lane isn't always the best lane. I mean, if there are additional lanes...well, they exist for a reason, don't they? What's wrong with deciding to resume with caution? Hell, what's wrong with starting all over again? Our only concern should be what works for us. There's no audience, no boss, no scoring committee. Lots of good data can be found in wreckage.

That's my somewhat disjointed 2 cents worth.

Bob

(in reply to fastlane)

Post #: 2

RE: Red light, yellow light - 12/13/2005 3:20:44 PM

fastlane

Posts: 2159
Joined: 5/26/2005
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Thank you Bob
I value your .02
I guess I shall start over and look at the HOV lane.
Slippery when wet is not sexy, it's down right dangerous, especially if you fall for it.

Peace, Kevin

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Just because it hurts, doesn't necessarily make it a bad thing.

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Post #: 3

RE: Red light, yellow light - 12/13/2005 3:54:28 PM

Cloudz

Posts: 836
Joined: 9/13/2005
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The follies which a man regrets most in his life are those that he didn't commit when he had the opportunity.-Helen Rowland 1876 - 1950

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Enjoy the Journey,
~Cloudz

"Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain."

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Post #: 4

RE: Red light, yellow light - 12/13/2005 4:16:19 PM

Dracironsgirl

Posts: 175
Joined: 7/2/2005
Status: offline

sorryto hear what You are going through Sir ....i've been there too and for me starting over is not so easy but that's just me.

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~love a Man in control~

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Post #: 5

RE: Red light, yellow light - 12/13/2005 4:47:14 PM

IrishMist

Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: fastlane

You are having a relationship and all of a sudden....Red light. For whatever reason it ends.
Soon, it resumes. Green light.
Do you go back from square one or pick it up from where it left off at, with caution..yellow light.
How can you go back to square one? I can't, but then again, I am in the fastlane.
wreckage is always in my mirror.

depending on why it came to a stop I would either proceed with caution...or start all over again

(in reply to fastlane)

Post #: 6

RE: Red light, yellow light - 12/13/2005 5:06:40 PM

daredevil865

Posts: 130
Joined: 11/9/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: fastlane

You are having a relationship and all of a sudden....Red light. For whatever reason it ends.
Soon, it resumes. Green light.
Do you go back from square one or pick it up from where it left off at, with caution..yellow light.
How can you go back to square one? I can't, but then again, I am in the fastlane.
wreckage is always in my mirror.

square one is the start of the race, the place where things start, no baggage or history...once you leave it you can never go back to it because no matter why things stop or why they may start again there is now some baggage and history...you may be able to take a U turn for some distance and proceed with caution for a while on a yellow take another road pass the wreckage but you cannot go back to the start of the race..

Even in the fastlane, once in a while, you may get a yellow or even a red light...Hang in there

DareDevil

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DareDevil

A true Master exhibits honor, integrity, honesty, self discipline, personal responsibility and caring for his property.

If I had to explain it...you wouldn't understand

(in reply to fastlane)

Post #: 7

RE: Red light, yellow light - 12/13/2005 5:13:16 PM

MstrssPassion

Posts: 2444
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: West Palm Beach, FL
Status: offline

Go-go-go & then all of a sudden a red light! Time to change lanes & keep on moving forward. I don't consider it to be traveling the fast lane (no offense or pun intended) but I rather look to the wise words of General Patton.

<a snip of one of his quotes>
'I don't like paying for the same real estate twice.'

When it ends, it's over for me.

finito

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MstrssPassion

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Post #: 8

RE: Red light, yellow light - 12/13/2005 5:33:03 PM

Sensualips

Posts: 1013
Joined: 10/8/2005
Status: offline

Depends on how the red came about. And how nice the car is. I mean, I am more willing to proceed with my dream car than some junker I will always be worrying if it will start.

(in reply to fastlane)

Post #: 9

RE: Red light, yellow light - 12/13/2005 5:59:47 PM

domtimothy46176

Posts: 670
Joined: 12/25/2004
From: Dayton, Ohio area
Status: offline

Relationships ~don't~ just come to a screeching halt. There is ~no~ point in time where it's simply over. Relationships die slowly, for at least one party. Sometimes the ending of a relationship can come as a complete surprise to one partner, but never to both.
If I end a relationship, there's a reason for it that I may or may not share with the other party. If that reason is not addressed and corrective action is not taken, there is ~no~ hope for long-term success. If a partner pulled stakes and quit, I would need to understand why and what changes needed to be made before I would be willing to resume the interaction. "Fool me once, shame on you, but fool me twice, shame on me."
I do agree that there is no starting over, only the possibility of learning necessary lessons and moving forward. Whether or not it's worth the attempt is a question only the interested partners can address.
Timothy

(in reply to fastlane)

Post #: 10

RE: Red light, yellow light - 12/13/2005 6:01:50 PM

fyreredsub

Posts: 3403
Joined: 10/7/2005
Status: offline

one can attempt to start again after the wreckage but usually some of the scars from the wreck remain....

quote:

ORIGINAL: fastlane

You are having a relationship and all of a sudden....Red light. For whatever reason it ends.
Soon, it resumes. Green light.
Do you go back from square one or pick it up from where it left off at, with caution..yellow light.
How can you go back to square one? I can't, but then again, I am in the fastlane.
wreckage is always in my mirror.

_____________________________

"Accordingly, men must then either fulfill their nature, or deny it, and in denying their nature, deny us ours, for ours is the complement to theirs. " Renegades

(in reply to fastlane)

Post #: 11

RE: Red light, yellow light - 12/13/2005 6:05:22 PM

windy135

Posts: 437
Joined: 10/17/2005
Status: offline

I'm a true believer of "Hurt me once, shame on you. Hurt me twice, shame on me" But like everyone else said, it depends on the situation and the relationship. I wish you luck sir.

(in reply to domtimothy46176)

Post #: 12

RE: Red light, yellow light - 12/13/2005 6:47:41 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: domtimothy46176

Relationships ~don't~ just come to a screeching halt. There is ~no~ point in time where it's simply over. Relationships die slowly, for at least one party. Sometimes the ending of a relationship can come as a complete surprise to one partner, but never to both.
If I end a relationship, there's a reason for it that I may or may not share with the other party. If that reason is not addressed and corrective action is not taken, there is ~no~ hope for long-term success. If a partner pulled stakes and quit, I would need to understand why and what changes needed to be made before I would be willing to resume the interaction. "Fool me once, shame on you, but fool me twice, shame on me."
I do agree that there is no starting over, only the possibility of learning necessary lessons and moving forward. Whether or not it's worth the attempt is a question only the interested partners can address.
Timothy

Yup. I will just add that once a relationship is over, there is no sudden green light. It's a very long slow yielding process.

(in reply to domtimothy46176)

Post #: 13

RE: Red light, yellow light - 12/13/2005 9:12:50 PM

OscarHargraves

Posts: 693
Joined: 8/9/2005
Status: offline

I think I agree with MistressPassion here. Why would you want to start over when you already know there's trouble ahead? Unless she's something VERY special AND you feel like you might have been a big part of the problem (that you are now willing to change) then it's not wise to even consider going down that road again. Cut the rope, cut your losses and move on to another relationship. If you're going to have to start over anyway it might as well not be with a known problem maker.

< Message edited by OscarHargraves -- 12/13/2005 9:13:34 PM >

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Never drive faster than your guardian angel can fly ! !

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Post #: 14

RE: Red light, yellow light - 12/14/2005 5:57:00 AM

FTopinMichigan

Posts: 571
Joined: 7/5/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: fastlane

You are having a relationship and all of a sudden....Red light. For whatever reason it ends.
Soon, it resumes. Green light.
Do you go back from square one or pick it up from where it left off at, with caution..yellow light.
How can you go back to square one? I can't, but then again, I am in the fastlane.
wreckage is always in my mirror.

I haven't played "Red Light/Green Light" since I was a kid, so I won't start playing again now.

Most of my relationships do not end with a horrible, dramatic finish. They tend to waiver off, and that's for both of us. I've never found it distressing, and there's almost a calm, to it drifting off that way. The signs were always there.

If I hit a red light....I stop. I don't go around the block again, to see if the light will change.

And as for driving in the fastlane...eventually, you'll run outta gas, right?

K

(in reply to fastlane)

Post #: 15

RE: Red light, yellow light - 12/14/2005 12:20:49 PM

candystripper

Posts: 3486
Joined: 11/1/2005
Status: offline

They're called "exs" for a reason. In all my life, i have never seen the break up and reconciliation thing work out for both people...usually one is very unhappy in the relationship but lacks the will to leave. Of course, this does not include the dance of the drama queens, who break up all the time; and who generally need an audience for their little dance. i am not available for such purposes.

candystripper

(in reply to fastlane)

Post #: 16

RE: Red light, yellow light - 12/14/2005 4:47:14 PM

MissDiandSirHugh

Posts: 1158
Joined: 8/11/2005
From: Goondiwindi ( Qld )
Status: offline

We would feel that the relationship could be restarted in the slow lane and in 1st gear for a long time with your hand ready to go into revers if need be then when that happens just pull over to the side of the road and have a good talk on what ever caused the change of direction.
Once that was worked out move on again in 1st so that you don not have another accident because if that was to happen you would be on your own and walking alone on the highway and may be no hope of thumbing a lift in ages.
It is going to take a lot of miles before you get to move into any other gear we think.

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HoRoo for now from Us both and enjoy all you read even if you don"t agree with us or others.
Knowledge is no Burden to Carry

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Post #: 17

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