RE: Submissives? I think not.....

RE: Submissives? I think not..... (Full Version)

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Darias -> RE: Submissives? I think not..... (10/27/2008 12:02:39 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SusieBlue I can see where the OP is coming from, though. I wouldn't consider it an issue with submissives, more of an issue with courtesy on the internet in general. It was perfectly reasonable for him to decline a phone chat with someone he'd barely spoken to, and it's reasonable for her to decline to pursue a possible connection. However her insulting him because he chose not to talk with her on the phone is rude. Not as a sub or a dom- as a person. I've seen that situation played out in similar forms throughout my years posting on the net, and most of those interactions were not on BDSM boards. I have to question the wisdom of asking a stranger to call you after just a few emails. Most people (I think? I could be wrong here) don't have a separate phone for their d/s activities, that could become a bit expensive. That said, people who behave as your dom when you don't know them from Adam deserve a smack in the butt themselves. from the subs point of view its possibly a rather effective measure of someones interest and twueness after all in an email or IM situation i could if i so wished demonstrate a vast knowledge of brain surgery through the use of google etc... on the phone without the minutes needed to research every response... not so much. theres also in some cases an attitude a confidence that comes accross easier via voice than through text comunication a simpler reason might be.. if he`s willing to pay for aphone call chances are he`s not just after her for wank material

RealSub58 -> RE: Submissives? I think not..... (10/27/2008 12:07:00 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: OrdernChaos ....yet they are still here. I received an unsolicited email from what seemed to be a very polite submissive. I read her profile and she seemed to be a level headed, willing to please sub. The odd thing was that in the bottom of her introduction email she insisted that I call her. she was certain that within a moment or two, she would be able to discern whether I was a "real" Dominant or just a fake. Willing to give her the benefit of the doubt based on the profile, I politely suggested we meet at yahoo, and go from there, since I don't have a habbit of calling total strangers. At that point, she called me a bullshit artist, and unfortunately that was the straw that broke the camel's back having had quite a few similar interactions as of late. So I ask my "fellow romans" have most of our female so called submissives or slaves not what they appear to be? Has this become a case of buyer beware? I make no pretentions of who or what I am. I am a Dominant person, and I want things a certain way. I make no false ad claims. However, I keep reading about "willing to please", "bend to your will", "get genuine pleasure from serving" and the like, yet the moment the interaction starts, the disclaimers pour out like out clauses on a hollywood contract, instead of the thoughts of someone with a submissive (let alone a slave) mindset. Have we turned our little femslave and femsub friends into "Prima Donnas"? OnC This is all so offensive. You rant about this one who and end up asking ~~ Have we turned our little femslave and femsub friends into "Prima Donnas"? WTF do we have to do her (speaking as a sub) and why do you think dom/mes have turned subs in primma donna's just because you got a strange duck that bites like a lion?

softhearted -> RE: Submissives? I think not..... (10/27/2008 12:28:30 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SlaveSimone Perhaps it would be of help to think of these gals as humans first, and subs/slaves second? I think this bears repeating again. And again. And again. Maybe it's just me, but when the sole focus of a guy's profile is "looking for a slave", I move right along. (And, unlike 30-somethings, my mailbox does not get filled to overflowing, but still.) Kinda makes me think that the guy would rather look in the yellow pages under "Slaves available" than get to know someone. Maybe things will work out with a guy so that I become his submissive or slave -- whatever the difference may be, but let's not go there -- but first and foremost we're both people seeing if we might fit together in some way. Aren't we?

SylvereApLeanan -> RE: Submissives? I think not..... (10/27/2008 12:44:14 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: OrdernChaos The odd thing was that in the bottom of her introduction email she insisted that I call her. she was certain that within a moment or two, she would be able to discern whether I was a "real" Dominant or just a fake. Willing to give her the benefit of the doubt based on the profile, I politely suggested we meet at yahoo, and go from there, since I don't have a habbit of calling total strangers. I'm sure most of the regulars have already given you the 411 on how inappropriate it is for you to A) post another in the endless stream of whines about fakes; and B) how you are the Big Bad for whatever you said to the poor wittle subbie. Frankly, I don't give a crap about either issue although I'm sure more than a few people will gloss over the fact that she claimed to be able to tell if you're a "Twue Dominate" within a few minutes of conversation. That, in itself, sends up red flags for me. But that's neither here nor there. However, I do have a suggestion for you that might help in future situations. It's called Skype. It's free to download and free to use if you call someone else who has it. For a small fee, you can also use it to call a cell phone or land line from your computer. All you need is a headset and you're golden. I suggest you get it. Next time a sub wants a phone call, you can use it and you will not have to worry about calling a stranger from your home phone. If you want it to be free, tell her you will only call her if she has Skype. If she's not willing to download it, you know she's a fake and you can move along.

everhope -> RE: Submissives? I think not..... (10/27/2008 12:57:52 PM)
i dislike the tediousness of writing back and forth in e-mails to a person i have no idea that they are even male let alone Dominant. one phone conversation can equal weeks of back forth writing that i personally do not have the time for and again, i find it tedious! i once carried on a daily e-mail/yahoo IM exchange with someone who i never once spoke to on the phone....never again. to this day i don't know who was really on the other side of the screen. i think her going off on you and calling you a fake was impolite, but i refuse to be anything but polite even when being called a fake subbie primadona. may we all find our bliss.

GreedyTop -> RE: Submissives? I think not..... (10/27/2008 1:05:55 PM)
Syl.. not being willing to DL skype may not be an indicator of being fake... if someone has an ancient computer, or computer issues (as I am having now.. non-working soundcard/video) is a perfectly legit reason not to bother DLing software that they'll really have no use for. And I think there are enough people on the boards that can vouch for me being a living, breathing female... (the sub thing? meh, that's subjective..LOL)

SylvereApLeanan -> RE: Submissives? I think not..... (10/27/2008 1:21:09 PM)
GT ~ The part about not wanting to DL Skype = fake was intended as sarcasm. Sorry it didn't come across. Dagnabbit, I'll have to work harder. [;)]

NorthernGent -> RE: Submissives? I think not..... (10/27/2008 1:34:14 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: OrdernChaos At that point, she called me a bullshit artist What did you say immediately before she called you bullshit artist?

NorthernGent -> RE: Submissives? I think not..... (10/27/2008 1:36:53 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Lashra You have to inspire the submissiveness in someone to be able to Dominant them. Perhaps so, but this doesn't give licence to running 'round shouting about 'bullshit artists'.....assuming he hasn't overstepped the mark.

roughleather -> RE: Submissives? I think not..... (10/27/2008 1:51:33 PM)
Look, if you're afraid to call someone on the phone, why should she bother with you? Really. Also, "afraid to talk on phone" often means "married", "troll for porno site", "teenage wanker", or, for female profiles, "is really a guy". To get this message, see this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7GcVnhNjWV0

TabrisMaceth -> RE: Submissives? I think not..... (10/27/2008 1:53:34 PM)
Ugh. I found a "sub" here this one time who- during the first, last, and only time we ever talked- tried to tell me what to do with my fucking life! Yeah, first time we met, several years my junior, she's telling me what to do with my life! I tried holding back my disgust, I tried telling her I already know what I want to do with my life, but when she told me a "real" dom is basically someone who takes orders, I had to leave or I would have went berserk! If lusting after power and a hatred of being bossed around isn't the very definition of dominant, then am I actually submissive? Have I actually live in Bizzaro World all this time and not realized it? There are only two things I ask of the human race: Be honest, and *use words right.* Nothing pisses my shit like people butchering the English language. You are not a biker because ride a motorcycle, something is not "gay" if it isn't happy and/or full of homosexuality, and you are not a submissive because you like to get spanked on the weekends. If you're a dom or a sub, it's only logical that...y'know...you have mainly dominant or submissive traits, in a non-BDSM sense. Just freaking makes sense that dominants have dominant personalities and submissives have submissive personalities, right?! -Tabris

kidwithknife -> RE: Submissives? I think not..... (10/27/2008 1:59:42 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: OrdernChaos At that point, she called me a bullshit artist, and unfortunately that was the straw that broke the camel's back having had quite a few similar interactions as of late. Hmm. Ok, according to your version of events, it does sound like she overeacted to you not wanting to call. (Although I'm not quite sure why you fear the phone so, that's your business I guess). However, if you've had "quite a few similar interactions" recently it does raise the question of why. If a significant number of subs are accusing you of being a "bullshit artist", that does raise some questions for me. quote: However, I keep reading about "willing to please", "bend to your will", "get genuine pleasure from serving" and the like, yet the moment the interaction starts, the disclaimers pour out like out clauses on a hollywood contract, instead of the thoughts of someone with a submissive (let alone a slave) mindset. Not wanting to submit to you is not the same thing as not being a submissive/slave. In other news, any female who isn't attracted to you isn't necessarily a lesbian.

Darias -> RE: Submissives? I think not..... (10/27/2008 2:11:10 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: roughleather To get this message, see this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7GcVnhNjWV0 fallin on the floor laughing not sure whats more disturbing... ole kirk in the video... a country singer singing about the internet .. or that up untill the end i didnt know whether the hobbit looking guy was the singer or not ... Has the OP returned yet?

RCdc -> RE: Submissives? I think not..... (10/27/2008 2:13:56 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Darias Has the OP returned yet? With most people treating the observation like a joke and hijacking the thread? I doubt it. the.dark.

stella41b -> RE: Submissives? I think not..... (10/27/2008 2:20:20 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: susie Interestingly many people on this site view a persons posts on the fora along with their profile when responding to emails or chat requests. A persons posts can say so much about them. True. But what they say directly (or don't say) and how they act trump both for me every time. But then again I don't start thinking in terms of dominant or submissive until I know who the person is. Until that moment in time there is no dominant and there is no submissive.

Darias -> RE: Submissives? I think not..... (10/27/2008 2:21:14 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark quote: ORIGINAL: Darias Has the OP returned yet? With most people treating the observation like a joke and hijacking the thread? I doubt it. the.dark. Darnit some people are just spoilsports

NihilusZero -> RE: Submissives? I think not..... (10/27/2008 2:23:14 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: softhearted Maybe it's just me, but when the sole focus of a guy's profile is "looking for a slave", I move right along. (And, unlike 30-somethings, my mailbox does not get filled to overflowing, but still.) Kinda makes me think that the guy would rather look in the yellow pages under "Slaves available" than get to know someone. That's reading an awful lot into the semantic choice of a single word...

RCdc -> RE: Submissives? I think not..... (10/27/2008 2:24:31 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Darias Darnit some people are just spoilsports ...or 'fakes'... or 'primadonnas'. End of the day - it's all name calling. the.dark.

kidwithknife -> RE: Submissives? I think not..... (10/27/2008 2:27:21 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: NihilusZero That's reading an awful lot into the semantic choice of a single word... I read that differently to you. For me the important part was "sole focus" not "slave".

NihilusZero -> RE: Submissives? I think not..... (10/27/2008 2:28:30 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Lashra You have to inspire the submissiveness in someone to be able to No I don't. I'd specifically avoid s-types with that mentality. I'll inspire many things in a sub/slave (intellect, emotions, sexuality), but I'd really rather not play with the staunch trigger subs.

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