RE: Pet Peaves!

RE: Pet Peaves! (Full Version)

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FullfigRIMaam -> RE: Pet Peaves! (10/28/2008 11:19:28 PM)
quote: *The smart thing for me is to break it off, but I really love him* Really? Would it really be smart to break it off with someone you really love because of one pet peeve? Is it really than a small problem? I would absolutely not give up a wonderful slave I loved simply because he did one thing which did not directly affect me, but I didn't like. Is he drinking a lot of beer every day, or is it one or two beers/day? Is he getting drunk and insulting or hurting your feelings in any way? Do you feel vulnerable to possibly restart drinking in a problematic way if he continues to drink beer around you? I have pet peeves, but I'm fairly forgiving of one or two minor imperfections, so obviously your mileage may vary on this. quote: SweetDommes the problem is that Holly doesn't seem to care anymore that he smokes - the fact that it's harming his health as well as mine doesn't seem to be as big of an issue anymore sigh If it's a deal breaker for you, and you've told him, then you need to follow through with it. May I ask how it's affecting your health if he is smoking outside? Are we really seeking perfect people ladies? M

SweetDommes -> RE: Pet Peaves! (10/29/2008 8:42:58 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: FullfigRIMaam quote: SweetDommes the problem is that Holly doesn't seem to care anymore that he smokes - the fact that it's harming his health as well as mine doesn't seem to be as big of an issue anymore sigh If it's a deal breaker for you, and you've told him, then you need to follow through with it. May I ask how it's affecting your health if he is smoking outside? Are we really seeking perfect people ladies? M When he comes in and still smells really strong of it, it sometimes triggers coughing fits (which can cause me to black out). He also smokes in the garage during the winter, so every time I go to/from work, I have to go through it.

MissSCD -> RE: Pet Peaves! (10/29/2008 9:19:09 PM)
*Whatever. It has been worked out.* *SCD* quote: ORIGINAL: ShaktiSama quote: ORIGINAL: MissSCD *It is interesting watching you all ponder over a situation you can only imagine on the net.* No one appears to have been particularly imaginative. All posters simply responded to the wording of your post. It wasn't very clear in a variety of ways. quote: *Under no way does my slave do drugs.* On the contrary, your slave consumes both alcohol and nicotine. Obviously, another problem with wording. quote: *I do not do drugs.* You made that clear. In fact, you are adamantly opposed to them. quote: *I am not an alcoholic or never have been one.* You used the phrase "heavy drinker and smoker". It was not supplied by anyone else. To me, both heavy drinkers and heavy smokers are addicts; both alcohol and nicotine create chemical dependence in the human body. Clearly, you define the term "alcoholic" differently than I do. quote: He is not an alcoholic or never been one. You described him as a person who could not or would not stop drinking. It was not a great leap. Most of my close friends and intimates are people who rarely drink and smoke, if at all. quote: *We came up with a salution that would allow him freedom after I leave his house on the weekends.* The only way I can imagine this being a solution is if you were using the word "engaged" very differently than I would as well. To me, "engagement" is a state of promised marriage--your slave would also be your fiancee. Most people who are "engaged" live together, or plan to live together once married. In such a circumstance, a habit that you "cannot stand to be around" would be very serious. If your slave is not your fiancee, but simply a D/S partner that you meet with occasionally, this is obviously a very different situation. Glad you found a solution that works for you both.

ShaktiSama -> RE: Pet Peaves! (10/29/2008 9:35:50 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MissSCD It is all good. It is complete, and no use talking about the situation any futurer ShakiSama. Some people will do anything for attention including trying to tear someone's opinions down. That is all this forum is. It is opinions. *Regards, tootles, Kiss my foot, Miss SCD* Lol...indeed. Some people will do anything for attention, including post their personal problems to an Internet forum and then get snotty and rude to people who were honestly trying to be helpful. Guess who won't be getting any more attention in the future? Good luck.

Sylverdawn -> RE: Pet Peaves! (10/30/2008 4:36:25 AM)
Ok here is my thing.. if they are SLAVES or TPE subs.. they smoke with your permission.. and where you say they can smoke.. come on Ladies.. who is in charge here.. I make it quite clear, you dont chew, smoke, or drink if you driving around me and especially not to excess. I dont want to smell it, taste it, see the outline of the skoll box in your back pocket.. so if you smoke.. have your last cigerette, shower pull freshly laundered or dry cleaned clothes out to wear so that I can not smell it. Fabreeze your mode of transport so I can't even get a whiff of it should I have to get into it. This is about ME not about you..Im not getting in a car with someone who has had one oz of alchol behind the wheel nor am I going to increase my risk one millionth of a percent by someone elses bad manners. Lord love me jesus women.. take control!Isn't that what got you involved in this lifestyle to begin with.? What is it with my boy wont do XYZ, or is doing XYZ and I cant change his behavior and I really dont like it.. but I love him.. kick his ass to the curb.. move on .. find someone who WANTS to be in a D/s relationship with you. That concludes the portion of my rant of the day.. back to your regularly scheduled Bitch and Moan session.

beeble -> RE: Pet Peaves! (10/30/2008 5:15:34 PM)
quote: Sylverdawn wrote: Ok here is my thing.. if they are SLAVES or TPE subs.. they smoke with your permission.. and where you say they can smoke.. come on Ladies.. who is in charge here.. [...] Meanwhile, back in the real world, one never gives the ultimatum, `You stop doing X or you're out,' without being prepared for their taking the latter option. There's always the possibility that putting your foot down and saying `I won't have a sub who does X' will result in your having no sub at all, which might be worse. beeble

PsyVamp -> RE: Pet Peaves! (10/30/2008 5:43:20 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: beeble quote: Sylverdawn wrote: Ok here is my thing.. if they are SLAVES or TPE subs.. they smoke with your permission.. and where you say they can smoke.. come on Ladies.. who is in charge here.. [...] Meanwhile, back in the real world, one never gives the ultimatum, `You stop doing X or you're out,' without being prepared for their taking the latter option. There's always the possibility that putting your foot down and saying `I won't have a sub who does X' will result in your having no sub at all, which might be worse. beeble Sometimes having no sub at all is preferable to a bunch of bullshit. Just like having no Domme at all would be preferable to a bunch of bullshit. But beeble, in either case you are absolutely correct, do not give an ultimatum unless you plan on following through. Sometimes, pet peeves can be settled with compromise and sometimes they can't. I sometimes keep company with those who smoke, My house is smoke free but I invite them to smoke on the porch, away from the door. A beer or two is fine, if you mean a beer and not a twelve pack, lol Lady Jag

Sylverdawn -> RE: Pet Peaves! (10/31/2008 5:14:01 AM)
Beeble sometimes its more important to be without than to be with and compromise yourself. I do not require a submissive to complete me or my being dominant. I am who I am with or without a submissive. The principle of being in charge is more important than the practicum of having a submissive. The payoff for being a good dominant is without being firm in ones belief. Either I am in charge or the submissive is in charge and if the sub is in charge I have failed at being a good domiant. That means not only have I failed the sub but myself as well. I work hard at being a good dominant by educating myself and supporting my dominance and if I fail that affects me; my confidence and my self esteem. Why would I willingly give that up.

mztresn0w -> RE: Pet Peaves! (10/31/2008 6:11:00 AM)
I rather be with out a submissive/slave then put up with someone that drinks to much, I will not put up with anyone that does drugs. I rarely drink and it is up to me who I spend my time with. So if they drink to much and can't control the need for a drink around me then they are out of my life. As far as smoking goes. I smoke so if someone else smokes then no big deal to me. I never smoke inside. It is always outside. I have friends that smoke in their homes and when I am there I always go outside to smoke. Don't you just love when the story changes. Hmmmmmmmmm, Things that make you wonder.

beeble -> RE: Pet Peaves! (10/31/2008 3:54:36 PM)
quote: Sylverdawn wrote: Beeble sometimes its more important to be without than to be with and compromise yourself. Of course. And sometimes, it isn't. I'm not advocating that you let your sub or subs walk all over you; I'm merely pointing out that there are some things it's not worth losing a sub for. Since there are some things that it is worth losing a sub for and some things it isn't, it follows that one must consider this before making any kind of ultimatum. All relationships, even D/s ones, require a certain amount of compromise. quote: I do not require a submissive to complete me or my being dominant. I never suggested you did. quote: I am who I am with or without a submissive. The principle of being in charge is more important than the practicum of having a submissive. Well, that's all very well in principle but there wouldn't be much point being a dominant and never having a sub. beeble.

Sylverdawn -> RE: Pet Peaves! (10/31/2008 5:55:16 PM)
quote: Well, that's all very well in principle but there wouldn't be much point being a dominant and never having a sub. Why is that beeble.. do you think being dominant is about simply extering control over a submissive. Being who I am which is dominant is about being me.. with or without a submissive.. I dont need one to be me.. sure its great fun to excercise both mental and physical control over someone..but having been without a full time submissive/slave for a little over three years now.. I can tell you I am still me and I am still Domiant..and will remain so even if I never place another piece of leather around a neck again. Do I still like to beat someone behind you bettcha.. can I live without it.. absolutely.. shrugs.. I would rather live my life by my choices than live my life by someone elses restrictions.... so yes there is a whole LOT of point to being dominant without having submissive for those of us who see this as more than slap and tickle games. SD

beeble -> RE: Pet Peaves! (11/2/2008 5:13:56 AM)
quote: beeble wrote: Well, that's all very well in principle but there wouldn't be much point being a dominant and never having a sub. Sylverdawn wrote: Why is that beeble. [...] OK, so the sentence you there was a stupid thing for me to say, akin to saying that there's no point being gay and not having a same-sex partner and no point liking fast cars but never owning a Ferrari. Allow me to rephrase. quote: beeble should have written: Well, that's all very well in principle but it would be a terrible shame to be a dominant who wanted a sub but never had one through being excessively picky and unwilling to compromise. (This is not a judgement on you or accusation against; I know next to nothing about you.) beeble.

Sylverdawn -> RE: Pet Peaves! (11/2/2008 5:28:27 AM)
I like picky and uncompromising .. I call it exclusive and knowing my own mind.. again.. I do not know how to state it any clearer than to say.. Its about being Me.. completely fully and not about sorta being me..like me hate me..thats ok.. I am who I am.. and we move on... best of luck beeble.. SD

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