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MarcEsadrian -> RE: Is being used by a vanilla the same as being used by a Master/Mistress (10/28/2008 9:35:50 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: boundinside
I have recently been wondering as to whether or not there is a difference in being used by a vanilla person versus a person in the lifestyle. In my opinion, a vanilla person is more likely to simply try and take advantage of a submissive's kindness...never quite seeing it as submission. The vanilla is most like to get what they seek then throw you away when they no longer need your help. But on the other hand, the person in the lifestyle is doing the exact samething, only in my opinion they are far less likely to throw you to the curb once your services are no longer needed. Is it because of the fact the they are aware of your submission and you make your submissiveness known. By doing this is it no longer considered taking advantage of someone but more likely considered an act of of submission? This topic is being based on a broad spectrum. I would like to know what everyone's opinion is on this
The "vanilla" are people, like the rest of us. It is a mistake to categorize human behavior in the tidy and predictable package of an "us vs. them" label. It's likewise a mistake to assume so-called "submissive" people are all the same. Many who don the guise of submission do it for very traditional ulterior motives, just as much as those who take up the mantle of dominance.
For some the thrill is to use, use and abuse—or to be abused, as the song goes. One could say knowledge of someone's submissive mindset and the inherent qualities therein gives one more power, in fact, and that power can be used to exploit a person far more insidiously. I tend to believe dominance, submission, sadism and masochism—sexual or otherwise—are naturally occurring traits of human nature, and are not suddenly validated by a person's inclusion into the "alternative lifestyle community". For this reason I respectfully suggest the question is moot. After all, what is the BDSM community, anyway? Have you taken a long, sober look at it? If one must abstract human behavior into flavors, I would say much of it is more "vanilla" than many assume—covered in a very thin cherry or chocolate dip.
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