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MirrorrirroM -> RE: New to the lifestyle - question about orgasms (11/14/2008 1:07:55 AM)
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I'd have to agree that psychological can be a big component. Trusting someone enough to be able to completely let go and surrender to the person and the experience and...well...quite literally release. I've had a decent (if not a bit embarrasingly on the high end) number of sexual partners in the past few years....but I had NEVER had an orgasm during sex, no hands or mouths, until last night with my Master. It was absolutely incredible. It makes a huge difference having a romantic/sexual partner who actually wants to figure out different things that turn me on and knows how to properly use that knowledge. I don't think most women really can get off just during sex ESPECIALLY if it's just plain sex without any...extras. By extras I mean all those other little turn on spots being stimulated. Kissing during sex, depending on what you like maybe hair pulling, neck biting, choking, maybe just licking or kissing the neck, tweaking nipples...you catch my drift. There is also, I've found, a big difference in my whole mindset when I would have sex with vanilla partners and there wasn't really anything fulfilling emotionally about the experience, versus with a D/s partner where I know that I can completely trust him to be the one in control, that I can try things with him I wouldn't feel safe trying with anyone else, I know he understands that for me pleasure is nothing without some pain to go along with it and he's very willing to help me explore those sensations, and just the simple fact that I feel in general happier, safer, and more cared for with my Master than I ever have in any other relationship. All of those things are factors I feel in what enabled me to finally be able to have that previously elusive orgasm-during-sex.
Plus he's just absolutely amazing in bed XD
Sorry if any of that was an overshare lol
-Bella
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