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DameDarkness -> How Women and Men Shower (12/14/2005 11:05:41 AM)
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How to Shower Like a Women..........
> Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry
> hamper according to lights and darks.
> Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
> If you see husband along the way, cover up any
> exposed areas.
> Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make
> mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
> Get in the shower.Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg
> cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
> Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo
> with 43 added vitamins. Wash your hair again to
> make sure it's clean.
> Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner
> enhanced with real passionfruit. Wash your face with
> crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until
> red.
> Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa
> cake body wash.
> Rinse conditioner off hair.
> Shave armpits and legs.
> Turn off shower.
> Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
> Spray mold spots with Tilex.
> Get out of shower and stand on bathmat.
> Dry with towel the size of a small country.
> Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
> Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and
> towel on head.
> If you see husband along the way, cover up any
> exposed areas.
>
> How To Shower Like a Man....................
>
> Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the
> bed and leave them in a pile.
> Be sure to leave skidmark on bedspread.
> Walk naked to the bathroom.
> If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her
> making the'woo-woo'sound.
> Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
> Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your ass.
> Get in the shower.
> Wash your face.
> Wash your armpits.
> Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse
> them off.
> Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
> Spend majority of time washing privates and
> surrounding area.
> Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs
> stuck on the soap.
> Wash your hair.
> Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
> Pee.
> Rinse off and get out of shower.
> Avoid bathmat.
> Dry off forearms and butt only.
> Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was
> hanging out of tub the whole time. Admire wiener
> size in mirror again.
> Shake it to watch water fly off.
> Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light
> and fan on.
> Return to bedroom with towel around waist.
> If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at
> her and make the 'woo-woo' sound again.
> Throw wet towel on bed.
>
> If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at
> the truth behind this, there is something so very
> wrong with you.
> Have a great day!
> And, "woo woo"!!!
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