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Long Distance Domination? - 10/29/2008 8:54:04 PM   
ShockTroop882


Posts: 7
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		Recently, I have acquired a slave who currently lives quite a ways away and is decidedly uninterested in relocating. I understand that this is not the ideal state of the relationship, but i have to roll with what I've got. What are some of the techniques and methods that you've used if they slave is far away and cannot fall under the whip.

I am also rather new at Dominating, so I ask politely not to be angry if I ask for clarification on certain techniques.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Long Distance Domination? - 10/29/2008 9:03:56 PM   
SailingBum


Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline 		Meeting the other person mihgt be a nice way to start

BadOne

_____________________________

The beatings will continue until morale improves.

According to SwithNSpanky
We are all so very lucky to have you with us to impart your great wisdom.

(in reply to ShockTroop882)
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RE: Long Distance Domination? - 10/29/2008 9:04:21 PM   
Rover


Posts: 2634
Joined: 6/28/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ShockTroop882

Recently, I have acquired a slave who currently lives quite a ways away and is decidedly uninterested in relocating. I understand that this is not the ideal state of the relationship, but i have to roll with what I've got.


No, you don't have to do anything.  You decided to accept what you got.  It was a matter of personal choice.  You were not forced into it, and it was not your only choice.

Please don't think of me as indelicate for making that observation.  I just thought it was important to make. 
 
John

_____________________________

"Man's mind stretched to a new idea never goes back to its original dimensions."

Sri da Avabhas

(in reply to ShockTroop882)
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RE: Long Distance Domination? - 10/29/2008 9:06:52 PM   
SirMIkeSD


Posts: 613
Joined: 3/16/2007
From: San Diego, Ca
Status: offline 		This is not what you want to here but,

You are in DC there is a large community there, get out and meet people in the groups. Learn from them, play with them, and you may find someone that is real. For all you know the reason she does not want to move is she's a 13 year old boy or married or or or.

Mike

(in reply to ShockTroop882)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Long Distance Domination? - 10/29/2008 9:11:09 PM   
ShockTroop882


Posts: 7
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		I do not think of it as indelicate. it is a good clarification to make. in contrast to this, she fits all of my requirements except for the locality issue. It was a choice, and I hope that it will turn out to be the right one. I consider 'rolling with it' because I am...well....call it 'being naive'. I think I can do that for my first time out. a lot of this relationship will be testing my own limits as a Dom as well as learning new techniques.

(in reply to Rover)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Long Distance Domination? - 10/29/2008 9:12:27 PM   
Rover


Posts: 2634
Joined: 6/28/2004
Status: offline 		Best of luck to you, my friend.  :)
 
John

_____________________________

"Man's mind stretched to a new idea never goes back to its original dimensions."

Sri da Avabhas

(in reply to ShockTroop882)
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RE: Long Distance Domination? - 10/29/2008 9:12:49 PM   
ShockTroop882


Posts: 7
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		You have a point. it is something i have neglected.

(in reply to SirMIkeSD)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Long Distance Domination? - 10/29/2008 9:22:12 PM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ShockTroop882

Recently, I have acquired a slave who currently lives quite a ways away and is decidedly uninterested in relocating.

First thing you do is aquire a new slave. Someone who is decidely not interested in relocating is also going to be dificult to control, and you have to completely rely on trusting them to actually fulfill anything you tell them to long distance.
Care to call her bluff? ASk her how she would feel about you relocating closer to her, if that would make a difference. You can do so with your job, and you are thinking about looking into it. I am almost willing to gaurantee she gets really distant really quickly.
When you are new at dominating, online is not the place to learn. Read about things online, find stuff out online, but do not confuse online roleplaying with actual domination.

My 2 cents
DV

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to ShockTroop882)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Long Distance Domination? - 10/29/2008 9:59:39 PM   
antipode


Posts: 1787
Joined: 4/19/2004
Status: offline 		Stick around, and you'll hear another hundred people tell you to "get real". I don't recall seeing anybody here who does cyber, or is even remotely interested. You don't learn anything from cyber except typing faster.

(in reply to ShockTroop882)
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RE: Long Distance Domination? - 10/29/2008 10:07:32 PM   
lemmebeYourMine


Posts: 136
Joined: 11/7/2007
Status: offline 		antipode; I think there is much to learn online and even in Cyber like interactions; but none of it relates to an actual experience. That much I will grant.

I don't know why, but I was much offended that you would answer with such confidant knowledge of what everyone on the site thinks and or has experienced and enjoys or learns from.

Lemmebe

(in reply to antipode)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Long Distance Domination? - 10/29/2008 10:09:14 PM   
SirMIkeSD


Posts: 613
Joined: 3/16/2007
From: San Diego, Ca
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: antipode
quote:

You don't learn anything from cyber except typing faster.


and being able to type one handed

Mike

(in reply to antipode)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Long Distance Domination? - 10/30/2008 4:51:52 AM   
Rover


Posts: 2634
Joined: 6/28/2004
Status: offline 		Don't allow other folks to make decisions for you.  Just because the structure of your chosen power exchange relationship does not appeal to them has no bearing on what you should do.  If we all behaved like that, there'd be nothing more common than flogging or spanking going on out there because we'd all be reduced to participating in only the most commonly appealing actitvities.
 
Having said that, there is a stark reality that the relationship you've described is doomed to failure.  That's the nature of any long distance relationship, not just yours and not because it's power exchange.  But you're a big boy, you know this, and you decide to press on.  I'm kewl with that.  You should be too.
 
Most of the regulars on these boards are real time folks, and predisposed to favoring real time over cyber or phone or whatever.  I fall into that category as well.  Point being, this may not be the best venue to solicit the kind of help you're looking for. 
 
You might be better served to find a venue that caters more to the special issues inherent to cyber or long distance relationships.  Maybe that venue exists here at CollarMe on another forum... maybe you'll have to look elsewhere... I dunno.  You may also want to seek out individual folks on the other side to ask for advice, or they may read this thread and seek you out.
 
Either way, do what you decide to do for yourself.  Don't dismiss what folks here have to say as valueless, but don't allow other people to live your life for you.  No matter how well intentioned we believe ourselves to be.
 
John

_____________________________

"Man's mind stretched to a new idea never goes back to its original dimensions."

Sri da Avabhas

(in reply to ShockTroop882)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Long Distance Domination? - 10/30/2008 5:19:31 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		How often can you see each other? Because it makes a difference if it's once a month or once a year.
Beyond that, back when we were ldr the major problem was just staying connected, having him know what was happening in my life. He might have wanted to have cybersex but if I was freaking out because of car troubles, then he had to know that in order to offer concrete suggestions. Punishing me because I wasn't into doing erotic stories that night would not have turned me on either.

We simply had to spend a lot of talking about the minutiae of daily life in order to maintain a strong relationship.
Oh and btw, he relocated to me, I wasn't going to uproot my family.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to Rover)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Long Distance Domination? - 10/30/2008 6:01:09 AM   
Lashra


Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline 		When my boy and I first met it was online, he was a gorean Master who gave up the whip, realized it was wasn't the path for him so I began slowly training him online. I gave him a monthly calendar and I planned things for him on each day such as anal training with a buttplug, wearing a certain color panties on a certain day etc. I would arrange self play scenes for him, for example placing a spreader bar between his legs and placing clamps on his nipples while he dripped hot wax on this thighs, the he could cum but he had to call me to let me hear him. You get the idea. Somedays he would clean house and the like.

He was instructed to email me every morning before work and 3 days a week to call me on the phone. He did everything as he was supposed too and now that we are together his training has become more intense.

It can work but you have to have to find out each others likes/dislikes and work from there. I see your in the DC area, there are lots of groups here like BESS or BR that you can join. I'm sure you would meet a mentor there or perhaps even a slave.

Good luck,
~Lashra


_____________________________

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”






(in reply to ShockTroop882)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Long Distance Domination? - 10/30/2008 7:16:33 AM   
leadership527


Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: antipode
Stick around, and you'll hear another hundred people tell you to "get real". I don't recall seeing anybody here who does cyber, or is even remotely interested. You don't learn anything from cyber except typing faster.

Perhaps you (and presumably the other 99 people) were unable and/or unwilling to learn anything in such environments. I most certainly did. Further, I'd suggest that in general, brains are learning machines. They learn everywhere that an open viewpoint allows them to.

< Message edited by leadership527 -- 10/30/2008 7:17:04 AM >

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to antipode)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Long Distance Domination? - 10/30/2008 7:18:46 AM   
lilmissattitude


Posts: 36
Joined: 10/22/2007
Status: offline 		just to let you know...i started with my Sir cybering.  we are semi-long distance.  a little over 3 hours car drive apart, even though we see each other once or twice a month.  it helped me to know a lot about my Sir.  we have discussed relocating, but at this time with His job there and my ums here...it just isnt going to happen right now, perhaps in the future.

please dont assume that you know why people come here and what works for others, just because it does/doesn't work for you.

(in reply to antipode)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Long Distance Domination? - 10/30/2008 7:51:16 AM   
ShockTroop882


Posts: 7
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		I am not making my decision solely on what is here on the boards, I came here wanting to see what others have done in order to come to my own conclusions as to what I should do. I also know that this relationship is doomed to fail for other reasons than simply distance.

still, I learn from my mistakes and progress onward.

(in reply to Rover)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Long Distance Domination? - 10/30/2008 8:26:03 AM   
MarcEsadrian


Posts: 852
Joined: 8/24/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ShockTroop882

Recently, I have acquired a slave who currently lives quite a ways away and is decidedly uninterested in relocating. I understand that this is not the ideal state of the relationship, but i have to roll with what I've got.


You don't have to roll with anything short of what you're happy with, and I certainly suggest you don't.

(in reply to ShockTroop882)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Long Distance Domination? - 10/30/2008 12:41:36 PM   
SailingBum


Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lilmissattitude

just to let you know...i started with my Sir cybering.  we are semi-long distance.  a little over 3 hours car drive apart, even though we see each other once or twice a month.  it helped me to know a lot about my Sir.  we have discussed relocating, but at this time with His job there and my ums here...it just isnt going to happen right now, perhaps in the future.

please dont assume that you know why people come here and what works for others, just because it does/doesn't work for you.


is 3 hours a LDR?  Sounds to me like the 2 of you were to lazy to jump in the car and hve real sex.  Half way is 1.5 hours.  The point ppl were making and I agree is "most" of the time LDR don't work.  Furthermore until you actually meet in my mind it's not a relationship.

Sure once in a blue moon a blind mouse finds the cheese.  It aint that often.

BadOne

_____________________________

The beatings will continue until morale improves.

According to SwithNSpanky
We are all so very lucky to have you with us to impart your great wisdom.

(in reply to lilmissattitude)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Long Distance Domination? - 10/30/2008 1:50:16 PM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		For some people a 3 hour distance would be blissfully close.  Just saying.

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to SailingBum)
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