What is this Doms deal? (Full Version)

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windy135 -> What is this Doms deal? (12/14/2005 6:45:18 PM)

Ok I met a Dom and we talk every once in a while. We have met and even played around a bit. My question is when we play it's either in one of our cars or in a hotel. I don't know too much about his personal life. He owns a house has no pets I know where he works and such. Another weird thing I only hear from him on days he works? Never on a day he doesn't work. I do not want a serious relationship with this Dom but I don't want to be a girl he plays with if he has a wife at home or something!! I have offered my house once but it didn't work out, I have roommates. So why do you think he is behaving this way? Looking for everyones perspecitve. Oh and he told me he is single... ???



ginawithaB -> RE: What is this Doms deal? (12/14/2005 6:55:08 PM)

quote:

I do not want a serious relationship with this Dom but I don't want to be a girl he plays with if he has a wife at home or something!!


Ok, at the risk of sounding very mean...I really mean you no disrespect, Windy...but you don't want a serious relationship with him? First off, how do you define "serious?" Seems a little like you want exclusive rights to him. You can't have it both ways. At least, not from my POV. You don't want serious from him. Seems like he doesn't want serious from you. But maybe he does already have serious or maybe not. Best bet, ask him...but don't expect him to give up anything serious, esp. for someone else who doesn't "want" serious.

Just my $.02, to steal someone else's catch phrase.




Tristan -> RE: What is this Doms deal? (12/14/2005 6:56:44 PM)

My guess is that he has a "significant other" at home. It would be far easier and more comfortable to play at home unless there is someone home he does not want you to meet.

Tristan



windy135 -> RE: What is this Doms deal? (12/14/2005 7:01:24 PM)

Oh yes I can see where one might get confused. I'm not looking to be exclusive with him and want no rights to him. My only worry is that I'm fooling around with a married man. He tells me he's not married but I just feel that something might be up. But now that you mention it, I'm being stupid, if I think he is lying I should just end it. I was just wondering if it sounded fishy to anyone else is all? thanks for your input.



obis -> RE: What is this Doms deal? (12/14/2005 7:11:22 PM)

The better question is how much fishier it needs to sound. He's obviously married, living with someone, or has kids or something else at home that he's not telling you about.



windy135 -> RE: What is this Doms deal? (12/14/2005 7:43:21 PM)

Yes, I was intreged so I asked why we didn't get together at his house or mine. He replied, "I dont live in a house" i asked where he lived "in my office" a few seconds later "but I have a house" ummm rrriiigghhtt.. I then wished him luck on whatever life brings him but asked him not to call. What was I thinking.. geez.. I just hope I didn't judge him false I would feel bad if I did.



candystripper -> RE: What is this Doms deal? (12/14/2005 7:46:09 PM)

quote:

Oh and he told me he is single... ???

Windy


i applaud your attitude; no married men, even for a little fling, because you consider the impact on the wife and any kids. Not too many of us round anymore; mot women seem to feel whatever happens to the family is not their fault.

candystripper



windy135 -> RE: What is this Doms deal? (12/14/2005 7:59:33 PM)

I don't know how a woman could do that to someones wife. I just think, imagine if that was my sister or close friend. No way! I do feel a little blue though and I'm not sure why.. sigh*



theRose4U -> RE: What is this Doms deal? (12/14/2005 8:08:51 PM)

quote:

Oh yes I can see where one might get confused. I'm not looking to be exclusive with him and want no rights to him. My only worry is that I'm fooling around with a married man. He tells me he's not married but I just feel that something might be up. But now that you mention it, I'm being stupid, if I think he is lying I should just end it. I was just wondering if it sounded fishy to anyone else is all? thanks for your input.


I had a sub that I just couldn't get the idea out of my head was married. I would find things in his truck like headbands, nail files, brushes and the like. He'd always brush it off by saying he stays close with his ex because of the unmentionables. He'd told me that his wife (er I mean ex-wife LOL) had breast cancer and was dying. I finally let him go because I just in my heart didn't believe him. He tried so hard to get me to believe him that I had to change phone numbers and email accounts.
Due to other dishonest activities he was on the local news a few weeks later on the downhill slide to club fed. During his trial I finally got confirmation that my instincts had been correct when the trial was postponed due to the death of his wife.

While your story does not seem as dramatic YET it has that same note of questioning that leads me to vote yep married. Time to break it off and move on. There are times that being alone is easier than being with someone that you just can't believe.



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: What is this Doms deal? (12/14/2005 8:17:55 PM)

Glad you came to the right conclusion. Jut remember- how the relationship goes the first few months IS going to tell you how the relationship WILL BE.



FangsNfeet -> RE: What is this Doms deal? (12/14/2005 8:51:19 PM)

I figure he just does not want you to meet his mom with whom he lives with.



OscarHargraves -> RE: What is this Doms deal? (12/14/2005 10:27:49 PM)

Ol' FangsNFeet may have the right idea; he could still live with Mom.

More likely he lives with a woman the neighbors call his wife. Please don't be too judgemental of him though. There may well be a reason for what he's doing. The problem is that he should be honest about it and let you decide if you are willing to continue. There are some wives that love their husbands dearly but absolutely refuse to do certain things that those men really need. Rather than fight about it or break-up they will just say, "If you have to have that go find it somewhere else. Just don't tell me about it!" Neither one of them want to break-up and they DO love each other. They are just trying to work around or through a problem they have in the best way they can. In that case you're not 'doing that' to someone's wife; in fact you might very well be helping save a marriage from being split. BUT, and this is important, the guy should be straight up and honest with you about what's going on so that you can decide for yourself whether or not you want to do this.

P.S. Before you lash out at me and flame me for these comments, please read my profile.



FTopinMichigan -> RE: What is this Doms deal? (12/15/2005 3:58:11 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: windy135
I then wished him luck on whatever life brings him but asked him not to call. What was I thinking.. geez.. I just hope I didn't judge him false I would feel bad if I did.


Windy, I applaud you for your decision now. And as for feeling bad, if you've judged him incorrectly....think of how poorly he treated you, by not respecting you enough to get to know you better, and treat you better. A car? A Hotel? ONLY, on his days of work?

Kicking him to the curb...or outta the car...or outta the hotel room....good decision, IMO! [;)]

You deserve better!

K



fyreredsub -> RE: What is this Doms deal? (12/15/2005 4:16:10 AM)

attached or married...............



Prunesquallor -> RE: What is this Doms deal? (12/15/2005 7:04:39 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: windy135

I don't know how a woman could do that to someones wife. I just think, imagine if that was my sister or close friend. No way! I do feel a little blue though and I'm not sure why.. sigh*


You feel blue because you were lied to and manipulated. But you proved yourself to be a much better person than him.



windy135 -> RE: What is this Doms deal? (12/15/2005 7:52:25 AM)

Oscarhargraves: I wouldn't lash out at you.. lol I'm open minded enough to realize that such relationships work for people. But he told me he wasn't married and I asked him a few times because of the fishy behavior. If an open marriage works for you thats super :)
wendy

And thanks everyone! I think I made the right decision also :)



fastlane -> RE: What is this Doms deal? (12/15/2005 7:53:25 AM)

He probably is single, but is very secretive for a reason.
My guess is he is a bi sexual male, living with a Man.

Hey, atleast he's not married.



oceangem -> RE: What is this Doms deal? (12/15/2005 11:06:51 AM)

Most likely has a significant other and only wants to play on his off time away from his home.

Is it a condition of his Don't call me ...I'll call you ?



MHOO314 -> RE: What is this Doms deal? (12/15/2005 11:11:25 AM)

too fishy---way too fishy and how does one play in a car? I can never get enough room to swing the whip!----



windy135 -> RE: What is this Doms deal? (12/15/2005 12:47:39 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: MHOO314

too fishy---way too fishy and how does one play in a car? I can never get enough room to swing the whip!----


Very carefully :) use a short whip



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