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Cows and politics - 10/31/2008 8:14:34 AM   
Moloch


Posts: 1090
Joined: 6/25/2005
Status: offline
DEMOCRATIC

You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
You feel guilty for being successful.
Barbara Streisand sings for you.


REPUBLICAN

You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
So?

SOCIALIST

You have two cows.
The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.
You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow.

COMMUNIST

You have two cows.
The government seizes both and provides you with milk.
You wait in line for hours to get it.
It is expensive and sour.


CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE

You have two cows.
You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.


BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE

You have two cows.
Under the new farm program the government pays you to shoot one, milk the other, and then pours the milk down the drain.

AMERICAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.
You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd one.
You force the two cows to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when one cow drops dead. You spin an announcement to the analysts stating you have downsized and are reducing expenses.
Your stock goes up.

FRENCH CORPORATION

You have two cows.
You go on strike because you want three cows.
You go to lunch and drink wine.
Life is good.

JAPANESE CORPORATION

You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains.
Most are at the top of their class at cow school.

GERMAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.
You engineer them so they are all blond, drink lots of beer, give excellent quality milk, and run a hundred miles an hour.
Unfortunately they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per year.

ITALIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows but you don't know where they are.
While ambling around, you see a beautiful woman.
You break for lunch.
Life is good.

RUSSIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.
You have some vodka.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You have some more vodka.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
The Mafia shows up and takes over however many cows you really have.

TALIBAN CORPORATION

You have all the cows in Afghanistan , which are two.
You don't milk them because you cannot touch any creature's private parts.
You get a $40 million grant from the US government to find alternatives to milk production but use the money to buy weapons.

IRAQI CORPORATION

You have two cows.
They go into hiding.
They send radio tapes of their mooing.

POLISH CORPORATION

You have two bulls.
Employees are regularly maimed and killed attempting to milk them.

BELGIAN CORPORATION

You have one cow.
The cow is schizophrenic.
Sometimes the cow thinks he's French, other times he's Flemish.
The Flemish cow won't share with the French cow.
The French cow wants control of the Flemish cow's milk.
The cow asks permission to be cut in half.
The cow dies happy.

FLORIDA CORPORATION

You have a black cow and a brown cow.
Everyone votes for the best looking one.
Some of the people who actually like the brown one best accidentally vote for the black one.
Some people vote for both.
Some people vote for neither.
Some people can't figure out how to vote at all.
Finally, a bunch of guys from out-of-state tell you which one you think is the best-looking cow.

CALIFORNIA CORPORATION

You have millions of cows.
They make real California cheese.
Only five speak English.
Most are illegals.
Arnold likes the ones with the big udders.
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RE: Cows and politics - 10/31/2008 8:20:12 AM   
twistedreality


Posts: 64
Joined: 5/22/2008
Status: offline
OMG...that is perfect! Only I see it that in America, we build a herd and give a cow to our less than fortunate neighbor. How come, those pushing for redistribution arent redistribuing their own wealth, if that is what they believe? What hypocracy!

(in reply to Moloch)
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RE: Cows and politics - 10/31/2008 8:20:21 AM   
persephonee


Posts: 5089
Joined: 12/15/2007
Status: offline
*snortsnortsnort*

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Nothing is exactly as it seems~Nor, is it otherwise.

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RE: Cows and politics - 10/31/2008 4:59:39 PM   
BlackPhx


Posts: 3432
Joined: 11/8/2006
Status: offline
Cute Joke...But

Twisted..Since the President earns $400,000 a year as a salary and is NOT exempt from paying Taxes, I guess Obama WOULD be redistributing his money as well.

Poenkitten

(in reply to twistedreality)
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RE: Cows and politics - 10/31/2008 7:06:51 PM   
ChainGoddess


Posts: 731
Joined: 9/27/2008
From: Ireland
Status: offline
Hilarious.  I love it.

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Anne Rice- When you think night and day and every moment only of pleasing me, things will be very easy for you.

I could give up chocolate but I'm not a quitter.

(in reply to Moloch)
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RE: Cows and politics - 11/1/2008 3:51:20 AM   
sirsholly


Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline


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RE: Cows and politics - 11/1/2008 6:20:50 AM   
MadAxeman


Posts: 4171
Joined: 8/28/2008
From: UK
Status: offline
Udder madness

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Hitman for the Subby Mafia

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RE: Cows and politics - 11/1/2008 8:23:15 PM   
lilmissdefiant


Posts: 666
Joined: 4/17/2008
Status: offline


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Change what you can and accept what you can't.
He came to me one night. Explored my body, licked, sucked, swallowed! When satisfied, he left & I was hurt!!... Fu*king mosquito!

Resident Thread Killer

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