Players and Fakes and Feelings (Full Version)

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RLowner -> Players and Fakes and Feelings (12/15/2005 9:57:38 AM)

First of all I do not like commenting on the issues in this life as I feel that what two do between them is their own thing. There are not any two Master s slaves or subs that see things the exact same way. I have read many a profile from a slave and the first thing you see is LIMITS that she has. Well in my years in this life a slave to me never had limits and she expected her owner to care for and cherish her and to lead her to the pleasure that he the Master liked and she accepted by giving her submission to him. There are not many that see that as so any longer. I also find it strange that some here are trying to find a new owner for their slave since they have either tired of them or some other reason. The when you respond you get the runaround. I also wonder since when is it legal to give on to another and expect her to stay there and serve with pleasure if she can’t stand the new Master. I see many on this and other sites seeking only to gain self gratification and others just playing games where still at home under mommies care meaning teenagers or adults playing just for lack of other activities. After over 30 years in this life and bring ing my former to the life and then loosing her I just can not understand the attitude any long of most in this life. There is no respect no loyalty and most of all no trust and honesty. I guess once a player always a player. I for one just cant understand one married seeking a quick fling. To me this life is of trust loyalty caring honesty respect and most of all the intense love you build between you and yours. The way you live the life is up to you the rules you set are yours the play you do you devise. But I ask WHY DO WE PLAY GAMES WITH OTHERS FEELINGS AND HEARTS AND MINDS. Just my words and thoughts



nephandi -> RE: Players and Fakes and Feelings (12/15/2005 10:10:31 AM)

It is a bit dificult from your post to understand if you mean that no limits slaves are players or that they are players if they have limits, but that discussion have been made so many times before. Everyone have limits, or at least nearly anyone, if you have the most obedient slave and asked her to slaugter infants and eat their harths, i asure you most would say no. There are those that truly have no limts but most do, and some feel the need to write those limits up, what is wrong whit that?

As for giving a slave away, it is perfectly legal as long as it is consensual, just as boyfrind girlfrind swapping is legal, some slaves have a so deep need to be slaves, and feel so owned that they will serve and cherish a man or a woman they do not love, just becouse they are orderd to, and we are we to crituqte their morale or the morale of their previous ovner.

There are certinly players and cheats out there, but i would advice againt crying ceat or liar to everyone that do or like or act in a way you find strange.



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Players and Fakes and Feelings (12/15/2005 10:11:49 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: RLowner
I also wonder since when is it legal to give on to another and expect her to stay there and serve with pleasure if she can’t stand the new Master.

What does legality have to do with anything?

quote:

There is no respect no loyalty and most of all no trust and honesty.

You're wrong on all counts.

quote:

To me this life is of trust loyalty caring honesty respect and most of all the intense love you build between you and yours.

That's great. That's not what it means to everyone. Some M/s relationships have nothing to do with love.

quote:

But I ask WHY DO WE PLAY GAMES WITH OTHERS FEELINGS AND HEARTS AND MINDS. Just my words and thoughts

Stick around, you'll see two more threads like this before the year ends.

Life is life. BDSM and Ds is just like everything else.

Sorry we aren't uber cool, I'll work on it.



ginawithaB -> RE: Players and Fakes and Feelings (12/15/2005 10:16:37 AM)

quote:

But I ask WHY DO WE PLAY GAMES WITH OTHERS FEELINGS AND HEARTS AND MINDS.


I wonder the exact saem thing all the time, RL...which i guess is one reason I started the Honesty thread on Ask a Master...just trying to understand how ppl's minds work. And why honesty is such a challenge for so many of us, lifestylers and vanilla alike.

But as for limits that subs/slaves have...I think everyone has some degree of limitation when they enter a relationship...And perhaps that limitation turns into a goal that Master and slave work on together. Or maybe it remains a hard limit. Bottom line is that we are all human. Most ppl do have some definite hard limits that can't be surpassed...ie: most ppl will say w/o hesitation no scat, no matter what. Others have other boundaries. Just depends on how stringent the boundaries are.

And frankly, the bdsm community has really burst open as more and more mostly vanilla ppl are exploring their more kinky sides, experimenting here and there and not wanting to make a full lifestyle committment. I think there's room enough for all, but I do think you're right in suggesting that a lot of the old values are kinda getting lost by the wayside. It is a pity. But I still think ultimately there's enough out there for all. Just think the search is a little more difficult and requires a little more creativity and perserverence on the parts of ppl who are seeking true lifestyle M/s type of committments. Just mho.

gina



nephandi -> RE: Players and Fakes and Feelings (12/15/2005 11:05:00 AM)

i said no scat and no urin, no oral and definitly no needels and no fire whne i started, i am a bit interested in trying most on that list now, exept for scat, as bounderis and limts change.



MHOO314 -> RE: Players and Fakes and Feelings (12/15/2005 11:15:43 AM)

after over 30 years in the L/life and in life, isnt this pretty much a rhetorical question?



ginawithaB -> RE: Players and Fakes and Feelings (12/15/2005 12:04:52 PM)

I said no scat no watersports and still hold no scat, but after having done some research, i'm now willing to venture into watersports---with the right person. So limits really do change.



windy135 -> RE: Players and Fakes and Feelings (12/15/2005 12:57:07 PM)

Not everyone is searching for a long term relationship. Would I love to meet my true Sir? Well yes of course. But I don't expect to find him here on the net. Most people would label me as a player because I'm not fully in the lifestyle. I'm ok with this. Right now I enjoy reading the message boards and learning about the lifestyle. I also enjoy playing with someone I might become friends with that has the same interests as I. I'm up front and I tell them what I'm looking for and they do the same. I'm experimenting and finding myself along the way! That's what it's all about... [:)]



happypervert -> RE: Players and Fakes and Feelings (12/15/2005 3:44:59 PM)

quote:

I see many on this and other sites seeking only to gain self gratification

It is kinda funny to read this rant and then your profile where your ideal mate can be described in warm terms like "Any wishing to beg a collar must be well groomed and of good health no STD's or drugs, non-smokers only. The outer looks are not as important as your inner desires to become mine in everyway." and other lines completely devoid of charm, emotion or really anything besides what you want for your own gratification.

So it looks to me like a real disconnect and I don't see why you are complaining about others playing games with feelings and minds when there is nothing in your profile that would even imply that such qualities are at all important to you or that you are bringing them into a relationship yourself. Perhaps if you can improve the first impression you make to seem like a normal human with feelings you might actually attract others like that in return.




OscarHargraves -> RE: Players and Fakes and Feelings (12/15/2005 4:48:24 PM)

This is the same old rant we've heard a hundred times. What it comes down too is,

"If you're not like me, if you don't think like me, if you don't agree with me, then you're not real. You're a player and a fake."

Grow up man. There are people in this world that don't think like you and don't want too! They are perfectly happy doing what they do. And they are looking for someone who agrees with them and wants the same things. The fact that they come here to read and learn and grow doesn't mean they want to change that. It means they want to learn and grow in their own way, and that does NOT have to be your way. If they are part-timers in BDSM so what? Does that hurt you? Is the world going to stop because they don't 'live the lifestyle' full-time? I doubt it. But they have the interest and the right to ask questions and be part of this community too.

P.S. Would you like some cheese with that whine?



SweetSarijane -> RE: Players and Fakes and Feelings (12/15/2005 7:31:42 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: OscarHargraves

This is the same old rant we've heard a hundred times. What it comes down too is,

"If you're not like me, if you don't think like me, if you don't agree with me, then you're not real. You're a player and a fake."

Grow up man. There are people in this world that don't think like you and don't want too! They are perfectly happy doing what they do. And they are looking for someone who agrees with them and wants the same things. The fact that they come here to read and learn and grow doesn't mean they want to change that. It means they want to learn and grow in their own way, and that does NOT have to be your way. If they are part-timers in BDSM so what? Does that hurt you? Is the world going to stop because they don't 'live the lifestyle' full-time? I doubt it. But they have the interest and the right to ask questions and be part of this community too.

P.S. Would you like some cheese with that whine?




I couldn't have said it better myself. Very well put.



FTopinMichigan -> RE: Players and Fakes and Feelings (12/16/2005 5:48:10 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: RLowner
But I ask WHY DO WE PLAY GAMES WITH OTHERS FEELINGS AND HEARTS AND MINDS. Just my words and thoughts


Well...to begin, "WE" don't "all" play games. You're apparently judging by a few experiences that didn't meet with your own expectations. There are plenty of good people out there. I noticed in your profile that you're from Michigan. We have a vast community here, with BDSM oriented groups throughout the entire state. Try "real life" meetings, if that's your interest. Check Yahoo for the Michigan Munch list.

I'm with Oscar, in his post, with my sentiments, but also hope you lose some of what appears to be bitterness, and that you enjoy the Message Forum. It's not THAT bad out here! [;)]

K



IrishMist -> RE: Players and Fakes and Feelings (12/16/2005 6:34:24 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: OscarHargraves

This is the same old rant we've heard a hundred times. What it comes down too is,

"If you're not like me, if you don't think like me, if you don't agree with me, then you're not real. You're a player and a fake."

Grow up man. There are people in this world that don't think like you and don't want too! They are perfectly happy doing what they do. And they are looking for someone who agrees with them and wants the same things. The fact that they come here to read and learn and grow doesn't mean they want to change that. It means they want to learn and grow in their own way, and that does NOT have to be your way. If they are part-timers in BDSM so what? Does that hurt you? Is the world going to stop because they don't 'live the lifestyle' full-time? I doubt it. But they have the interest and the right to ask questions and be part of this community too.

P.S. Would you like some cheese with that whine?


Same...I could not have said it better myself



candystripper -> RE: Players and Fakes and Feelings (12/16/2005 5:06:33 PM)

i do have some sympathy for the Op; it can be discouraging to spend time trying to get get to know someone only to find out he is not at all like he described himself....being married and not revealing that is a big example. However, i also agree with Oscar; no one is suffering fools anymore than anyone else; it's just a feature of the 'net, so it makes no sense to carry on about it.

candystripper



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