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Dog and Cat Diaries - 11/1/2008 4:56:26 AM

MsStarlett

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Joined: 12/23/2007
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Here is the Dog's Diary

8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Dinner! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

(sort of sounds like some subs I know)

The Cat's Diary

Day 983 of My Captivity

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates my capabilities. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. Bastards!

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my
tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow, but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released, and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird must be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now ...

_____________________________

It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.
It is by the beans of Java that thoughts acquire speed,
the hands acquire shakes, the shakes become a warning,
It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.

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RE: Dog and Cat Diaries - 11/1/2008 4:58:38 AM

sirsholly

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_____________________________

PICKED UPON
TECHNO-DOLT
MEMBER OF THE SUBBIE MAFIA
GRACEFULLY CHALLENGED :::::splat:::::
BOOT WHORE
VAA/S FAN

GIVES GOOD HEART (Lushy)

CREATOR OF MAYHEM (practice)

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RE: Dog and Cat Diaries - 11/1/2008 5:39:53 AM

CarrieO

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I love that...it's one of my favorites.

My cats play the "assassinate the human" game all the time!

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RE: Dog and Cat Diaries - 11/1/2008 5:42:51 AM

bondagelover1950

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Looks like someone has managed to deciper the diary of one of MY cats.

About the only thing the darned things HAVN'T done yet is leave one of those decapitated offerings.

Ya think it could have anything to do with my constantely reminding them that I have this great recipe for Feline Stew??

< Message edited by bondagelover1950 -- 11/1/2008 5:47:28 AM >

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if she pleases you then run her down, bind and gag her and then carry her off

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RE: Dog and Cat Diaries - 11/1/2008 5:47:41 AM

persephonee

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You be the Captain; i'll be no one.

And You can carry me away....if You want to. ~Kasey Chambers

E*Whore, extraordinaire....

Nothing is exactly as it seems~Nor, is it otherwise.

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RE: Dog and Cat Diaries - 11/1/2008 4:44:13 PM

spinninsweetness

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I'm English, and as such I crave disappointment. I actively seek it out.- Bill Bailey

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RE: Dog and Cat Diaries - 11/1/2008 5:19:44 PM

laura2161

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From: Duluth, GA
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hahah, gotta love it....3 cats own me right now and all three of them meet me at the top of the stairs...HMMMMMMMMMM

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'I am not infantile, You StinkyButt Poophead!'

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RE: Dog and Cat Diaries - 11/1/2008 7:58:40 PM

lilmissdefiant

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*Wonders if GT has seen this thread yet*

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Change what you can and accept what you can't.
He came to me one night. Explored my body, licked, sucked, swallowed! When satisfied, he left & I was hurt!!... Fu*king mosquito!

Resident Thread Killer

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RE: Dog and Cat Diaries - 11/2/2008 6:36:55 AM

Barelily

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Haha Sending this to a friend..Thanks

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"Life is not measured by the breaths you take, but by the moments that that take your breath away."

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RE: Dog and Cat Diaries - 11/2/2008 7:05:45 AM

GreedyTop

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Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
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*snort*

(I'm glad I don't have stairs)

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CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

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