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Question? - 12/15/2005 4:34:35 PM   
labtec19


Posts: 7
Joined: 12/15/2005
Status: offline 		How do you stop someone who you know is being played by an online predator?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Question? - 12/15/2005 4:39:41 PM   
siamsa24


Posts: 2426
Joined: 2/2/2004
Status: offline 		We are all adults and can make our own choices. You can talk to the person, but they don't have to listen to you or take your advice.

If you are the one being bothered then use the lovely little block button.

(in reply to labtec19)
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RE: Question? - 12/15/2005 4:44:52 PM   
HouseofBear


Posts: 1280
Joined: 2/9/2005
Status: offline 		If you are a friend of their's then perhaps you could talk to them, though do not put a lot of hope in it. Some caught up in frenzy do not do a lot of serious listening to others on this subject when they are caught up in the throes of the new relationship. If you are a really good friend, you can just be there for them when the pieces fall.

Ursa

(in reply to siamsa24)
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RE: Question? - 12/15/2005 4:48:21 PM   
ExistentialSteel


Posts: 676
Joined: 1/18/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: labtec19

How do you stop someone who you know is being played by an online predator?



Man, that is such a loaded question. I know you mean well and I'm trying to give you an honest answer, but things can be skewed by your relationship to the person. You can also misinterpret what she truly desires. What is being played to you may not be to another, etc. See what I mean?

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For those who are like Roman Candles leaving bright trails in the night sky while the crowd watches until the dark blue center light bursts into magnificent colors and the crowd goes, ahhhhhhhhhh.

(in reply to labtec19)
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RE: Question? - 12/15/2005 5:10:38 PM   
OscarHargraves


Posts: 693
Joined: 8/9/2005
Status: offline 		Take that person aside and talk to them as a friend. Tell them what you feel and why. Do your best to warn them but respect their right to make their own choices.

You will also want to be there to support them if the worst comes to pass. Life's road is sometimes rocky and we all feel the bumps now and then. When that happens it's nice to have a real friend who will let you cry on their shoulder.

< Message edited by OscarHargraves -- 12/15/2005 5:11:36 PM >

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Never drive faster than your guardian angel can fly ! !

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RE: Question? - 12/15/2005 5:25:54 PM   
JohnWarren


Posts: 3807
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Delray Beach, FL
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: labtec19

How do you stop someone who you know is being played by an online predator?



I'm always curious of how someone can know another person is a predator. Want to go into more details?

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www.lovingdominant.org

(in reply to labtec19)
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RE: Question? - 12/15/2005 5:30:39 PM   
siamsa24


Posts: 2426
Joined: 2/2/2004
Status: offline
quote:

I'm always curious of how someone can know another person is a predator


This is a very good question, now I'm curious as well.

(in reply to JohnWarren)
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RE: Question? - 12/15/2005 5:40:33 PM   
sub4hire


Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		How do you know they are a predator? What are the signs? How do you know they are only online?
Know people in the scene near them or what?

(in reply to labtec19)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Question? - 12/15/2005 6:07:41 PM   
MHOO314


Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline 		a difficult answer as those of U/us in different lifestyles at times desparately seek a sense of community--words written come easy--My suggestion is to get them to do a profile here, then post the question, we may indeed be able to effect the realization---if not--well we all have the decision ability--sadly...

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SLUTS: Southern Ladies Under Tremendous Stress...

Mistress Hathor


(in reply to labtec19)
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RE: Question? - 12/15/2005 6:39:22 PM   
krikket


Posts: 1183
Joined: 11/17/2004
From: Washington, DC Metro Area
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: labtec19

How do you stop someone who you know is being played by an online predator?



i was once in that "someone's" position, and i can tell you from experience that you can't stop them, especially if they believe they're in love for maybe the first time in their life. All you can really do is wait and be there when you're needed -- and you will be. i know you probably don't wait well (few of us do), but most of us have to learn from our own experience, rather than from another's mistakes.

Good luck..and best wishes to you both..

jimini

PS...welcome to the forums :)


_____________________________

"And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to bloom."

by A. Nin



When your heart speaks take good notes.





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RE: Question? - 12/15/2005 7:18:38 PM   
MizSuz


Posts: 1881
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: labtec19

How do you stop someone who you know is being played by an online predator?




Please define "predator" as you understand its meaning in this instance.

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“The more you love, the more you can love—and the more intensely you love. Nor is there any limit on how many you can love. If a person had time enough, he could love all of that majority who are decent and just.”
- Robert Heinlein

(in reply to labtec19)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Question? - 12/15/2005 7:27:26 PM   
slavejali


Posts: 2918
Status: offline 		i thought the whole concept of an online predator was ludicrous when i first joined the internet. Like how the heck can someone typing to you really hurt you. .....

Saying that, Master told me this story, which was confirmed by other people that there was a dom online who lured victims into rl meetings and then murdered them..he is now sitting on death row.

So, yeah, i need to know your definition of predator too.

(in reply to MizSuz)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Question? - 12/15/2005 7:30:02 PM   
FangsNfeet


Posts: 3758
Joined: 12/3/2004
Status: offline
quote:

How do you stop someone who you know is being played by an online predator?


You disconnect there telephone and internet connections, lock all the doors and windows in the house, then make the person clean every room. After that, you bound them to a rack and whip them good and punished red followed by giving the order "If you communicate with that idiot one more time, the next punishment will make today feel like a treatment at a health spay."

If that's no fun, well you can only let your friend learn the hard way. After all, most of these online predators end up moving on to other people and disapearing from the one they where chatting with. If there's going to be an actuall meeting, it'll be just for sex and your friend should figure it out sooner or later.

If you're friend is absolutly clueless and gulable, well then it may be time for you to take charge. Don't forget that you can also send an email or message to this preditor yourself. Even better, act as another victim to the preditor. You can then prove to your friend the this individual is out to use and abuse as many suckers as possible.

There ya go, Option A, B, and C. Which are you going to go with?

NEXT!




_____________________________

I'm Godzilla and you're Japan

(in reply to labtec19)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Question? - 12/15/2005 8:43:51 PM   
labtec19


Posts: 7
Joined: 12/15/2005
Status: offline 		Thank you all for the input, Just going to have to let it play out as it should. She is a big girl

(in reply to labtec19)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Question? - 12/15/2005 9:02:58 PM   
FelinePersuasion


Posts: 4792
Joined: 11/20/2004
Status: offline 		You don't. You just don't say I told you so when the bottom falls out and you help them pick up the pieces.

(in reply to labtec19)
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RE: Question? - 12/15/2005 9:17:37 PM   
truesub4u


Posts: 2949
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OscarHargraves

Take that person aside and talk to them as a friend. Tell them what you feel and why. Do your best to warn them but respect their right to make their own choices.

You will also want to be there to support them if the worst comes to pass. Life's road is sometimes rocky and we all feel the bumps now and then. When that happens it's nice to have a real friend who will let you cry on their shoulder.



I seen no reason to read past this post on this subject. This is the best advice I would be able to state as well. If your friendship is strong, they'll see the friend looking out for them. And after all is said and done. Either be the friend to lean on, or the one willing to eat crow. But you'll still have your friendship, if you do this right.

(in reply to OscarHargraves)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Question? - 12/16/2005 2:33:53 AM   
fldrkhorse


Posts: 158
Joined: 11/5/2005
From: North Carolina
Status: offline 		How does anyone know someone elses true intentions?

_____________________________

I'm not where I need to be, but I'm better than I was yesterday.

Namaste, I honor the divine in you

(in reply to labtec19)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Question? - 12/16/2005 3:26:28 AM   
plantlady64


Posts: 755
Joined: 5/19/2005
Status: offline 		Hello There,
Plain and simple you can't. You can only control you. My advice would be to point out to your friend what you see, be there for her, and pray.
Sincerely,
sub suzanne

(in reply to labtec19)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Question? - 12/16/2005 3:37:57 AM   
Padriag


Posts: 2633
Joined: 3/30/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: labtec19

How do you stop someone who you know is being played by an online predator?


Generally, its been my experience that you can't, especially online. You can encourage someone to think carefully about what they do or who they are involved with, but that's really about it. Often if you try to "rescue" someone from such a situation you end up being painted as the bad guy. People make their own choices and have to accept the consequences. The only thing you can do is try to be a good example in your own behavior, be a good friend, not condone things you genuinely think are wrong, and accept that people will do what they will.

Also keep in mind that there may be more to the story than you know. I've known some who deliberately let themselves be played, got into relationships they knew would not work out... because they didn't really want it to work. Sometimes the person being "played" is doing as much playing and the player.

_____________________________

Padriag

A stern discipline pervades all nature, which is a little cruel so that it may be very kind - Edmund Spencer

(in reply to labtec19)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Question? - 12/16/2005 5:18:32 AM   
sweetpettjenny


Posts: 674
Joined: 11/7/2004
Status: offline 		just be a good friend and state how you feel. Myself i would have loved someone to tell me the truth about my ex...

(in reply to labtec19)
Profile   Post #: 20
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