RE: All change for slaves

RE: All change for slaves (Full Version)

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AbstractSavant -> RE: All change for slaves (12/16/2005 4:29:07 PM)
This is how it worked for me, but remember that everyone is an individual and all relationships have different dynamics. Bringing BDSM into an established relationship is wonderful, but for me was a gradual experience where we both explored this new interest together and discovered what we were into and what things made us tick and worked for our power exchange dynamic. If my boyfriend had said right from the beginning "on your knees, eat from a dog bowl and wear my collar to your job" I would have probably gotten as far as on my knees and safworded on the rest of it. But now, with months of experience, I have eaten from a dog bowl for him and enjoyed it immensely. Not long ago, I wore my collar home for dinner with my family. Now, my collar is of fine metal and not really obviously BDSM, but it was not something I would have been willing to do on day 1. I truly think this is something you should develop and explore together, and not just jump into it all half cocked. It's easy to get bored or burnt out fast when you make such an abrupt change and don't ramp it up.

perverseangelic -> RE: All change for slaves (12/16/2005 10:41:14 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: nephandi One thing, if you can not swallow whit the collar you are wearing it is to THIGTH, it so not fit, this is not healthy, the same as whit dogs and cats, you should be aber to get two fingers easy between the collar and the skin, and it should not restrict breathing, eating and swallowing. It restrics your Energies, and remember there is alot of sensetive stuff in your troat you do not want squesed. Agreed. The "two finger" rule is used with dog collars. If you can't get two fingers under the animals collar, it's too tight. I use a "one finger" rule on people collars as it seems the shape of the neck is more condusive to it. To me, if you can't get one finger -comfortably- under the collar, you're putting yourself in some risk. If you're both aware of the risk, more power to you, but do be aware of it. Also, to reiterate, I think you're also asking for trouble pushing so hard, so fast. Speaking from personal experience, it seems that the "really hard really fast whole lot" is WAY more likely to peter out or suddenly stop than gradual increaces of control as the top gets comfortable. I'm not saying it's bad to feel his control, just that it seems like it's a lot to manage, on his side. Again from my own experience, and my own ups and downs, when the Owner went from nothing to everything it was gone really quickly. Now, as he's gradually increacing his control and his undersatanding of what I need and what he enjoys we're seeing a slow increace in his optioning power, but it isn't going -away.- Third, I think I'm a little apprehensive of his desires to embaress and/or out you to family and work. It seems a little bit un-thought-out. Partially this is beacause I believe it's not right to non-consensually expose others to one's power dynamic, but also because I don't think its' a good idea to damage family relationships. Maybe this is because I come from a fractured family, but I tihnk a whole and mostly non-frictional family is a -good- thing, and one shouldn't seek to suddenly damage that. I DO think it's good to come out to one's family, but I think it's wise to do it slowly. My family has heared that I like "tieing up type stuff" and at the holidays they will probably notice I wear a locked collar. I don't hide myself. Neither do I require them to see me in humiliating postures, either.I think that's akin to making one's parents watch one have sex.

Rayne58 -> RE: All change for slaves (12/17/2005 2:00:01 AM)
quote: i'm often tied down, but last night i stayed tied and gagged all night! This also seems unsafe......what if you suddenly had trouble breathing, or vomited, while your Dom was asleep?? Surely it isn't good to be tied in one position all night?[>:]

imtempting -> RE: All change for slaves (12/17/2005 6:39:03 AM)
How was the Stay at your parents place? What do you do for work? Are you a manager there etc?

MadameDahlia -> RE: All change for slaves (12/17/2005 11:29:51 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Rayne58 quote: i'm often tied down, but last night i stayed tied and gagged all night! This also seems unsafe......what if you suddenly had trouble breathing, or vomited, while your Dom was asleep?? Surely it isn't good to be tied in one position all night?[>:] Thank the powers that be that someone pointed this out... If you're tied down and he's a heavy sleeper how are you supposed to signal that something is terribly, terribly wrong? If he's out of reach and you can't touch him to wake him up how will he deal with things that may come up in the middle of the night? If you need to use the bathroom and can't get up to go does he expect you to lay in a mess? If you have allergies or a cold and cannot easily breathe through your nose will he wake up to find you dead, petichial hemorrhaging in the eyes? While he may not enjoy the criticisms of others he wasn't born with all the answers. You need to make sure that you're looking out for your physical, mental and emotional safety - especially if he isn't.

krys -> RE: All change for slaves (12/17/2005 3:57:07 PM)
Your Master may view this as criticism, and if you are punished I apologize in advance, but wearing a collar that is restrictive enough to make it difficult to swallow 24/7 is just plain dangerous. It causes constant pressure on the main arteries that lead to the brain, and may lead to a blood clot that causes a stroke. There is a reason behind the "collars are too tight if..." thing. Also, keep in mind that carrying these things over into the workplace may have a negative effect on your job performance. Your employer did not submit when you did, and may not be willing to put up with a decrease in your performance, or with you making your co-workers uncomfortable. Change can be difficult. But it is the things we find challenging in life that have the most profound effect on us, be it positive or negative.

littleone35 -> RE: All change for slaves (12/17/2005 4:47:38 PM)
I agree that is terribly dangerous if you can't swallow well not to much air can get don't ther either (at least that is what i discoverd). Mine was a little tight and my late Master go it adjusted that i would wear it without bein uncomfortable yet still knoe it was ther maybe you dhould discuss this eith him. Best wishes. littleone

sudja -> RE: All change for slaves (12/18/2005 2:57:41 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sallysally i don't know why, He told me to come on here and learn everything i can, but He get angry when someone else last night criticised Him. He has gotten harder this week with me. But we have been happily married for six years! Well, I'd hate to cause you more problems, but if he tells you to come here, then can't handle what others say, he sounds more like a controlling wanna be know it all putz than a Dom/Master. sudja

MasterRobert1 -> RE: All change for slaves (12/19/2005 9:06:38 AM)
TWO DAYS and you're collared? That must be a new world record. Just how much do you know about this Dom, and he you? Look, if you're comfortable with how fast thimgs occured, fine. If not, maybe you should step back and think about it a little bit. After all, collaring (or accepting a collar) is a BIG step. Especially a big step with someone you've only know for 2 days. Personally, I wouldn't even considering interacting with a sub I had only known two days, let alone collaring them.

perverseangelic -> RE: All change for slaves (12/19/2005 9:34:17 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MasterRobert1 TWO DAYS and you're collared? That must be a new world record. Just how much do you know about this Dom, and he you? Look, if you're comfortable with how fast thimgs occured, fine. If not, maybe you should step back and think about it a little bit. After all, collaring (or accepting a collar) is a BIG step. Especially a big step with someone you've only know for 2 days. Personally, I wouldn't even considering interacting with a sub I had only known two days, let alone collaring them. I'm not sure where you read the two days but, she did say she'd been married to this person for eight years, six married. It's just that the power exchange has become a lot more strict recently. NOt saying I'm down with everything mentioned here, just that they -have- been together for quite some time.

sweetpettjenny -> RE: All change for slaves (12/20/2005 3:13:40 AM)
She's been married to him for at least 6 years, id say that is sufficient time for a collar to be earned. quote: ORIGINAL: MasterRobert1 TWO DAYS and you're collared? That must be a new world record. Just how much do you know about this Dom, and he you? Look, if you're comfortable with how fast thimgs occured, fine. If not, maybe you should step back and think about it a little bit. After all, collaring (or accepting a collar) is a BIG step. Especially a big step with someone you've only know for 2 days. Personally, I wouldn't even considering interacting with a sub I had only known two days, let alone collaring them.

CaptainsPet -> RE: All change for slaves (12/20/2005 5:56:38 AM)
My personal opinion, from my own recent experience...be real leery if he starts changing horses in midstream. If you haven't discussed this, and he has little or no regard for your feelings (or apparently your health and well-being), he isn't worthy of respect. Respect is earned through action. I won't even tell you what I think of a so-called Dom who would beat his sub, for someone else's opinion or advice. But I have a few choice words. I just hope and pray your physical health isn't in jeopardy. God bless. ~pet~

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