People really said these in court. (Full Version)

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knees2you -> People really said these in court. (11/3/2008 1:48:02 AM)






 
People Really Said These Things In Court
 

[image]http://jokes.comedycentral.com/images/v2/pix_clear.gif[/image]

 

Q: What is your date of birth?
A: July fifteenth.
Q: What year?
A: Every year.

Q: This myasthenia gravis - does it affect your memory at all?
A: Yes.
Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
A: I forget.
Q: You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten?

Q: All your responses must be oral, okay? What school did you go to?
A: Oral.

Q: How old is your son - the one living with you.
A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
Q: How long has he lived with you?
A: Forty-five years.

Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke that morning?
A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
Q: And why did that upset you?
A: My name is Susan.

Q: Sir, what is your IQ?
A: Well, I can see pretty well, I think.

Q: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in the voodoo occult?
A: We both do.
Q: Voodoo?
A: We do.
Q: You do?
A: Yes, voodoo.

Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?

Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year old, how old is he?

Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?

Q: Was it you or your younger brother who was killed in the war?
Q: Did he kill you?
Q: How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the collision?
Q: You were there until the time you left, is that true?
Q: How many times have you committed suicide?
Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
A: Yes.
Q: And what were you doing at that time?

Q: She had three children, right?
A: Yes.
Q: How many were boys?
A: None.
Q: Were there any girls?

Q: You say the stairs went down to the basement?
A: Yes.
Q: And these stairs, did they go up also?

Q: Mr. Slattery, you went on a rather elaborate honeymoon, didn't you?
A: I went to Europe, sir.
Q: And you took your new wife?

Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
A: By death.
Q: And by whose death was it terminated?

Q: Can you describe the individual?
A: He was about medium height and had a beard.
Q: Was this a male, or a female?

Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.

Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.
Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.

 
Always, knees[sm=cactus.gif][sm=pullit.gif]




sirsholly -> RE: People really said these in court. (11/3/2008 3:27:37 AM)

[:D]




RainydayNE -> RE: People really said these in court. (11/3/2008 4:17:11 AM)

those are so great :)




BlackPhx -> RE: People really said these in court. (11/3/2008 7:30:05 AM)

[:D][:D][:D][:D]
Classics

poenkitten




Steponme73 -> RE: People really said these in court. (11/3/2008 10:40:11 AM)

LMAO!!!!!  




UncleNasty -> RE: People really said these in court. (11/3/2008 2:53:01 PM)

Most of them were uttered by attorneys. Doesn't say much for the chances of getting adequate representation.

Uncle Nasty




HandSolo -> RE: People really said these in court. (11/3/2008 3:20:54 PM)

http://www.stumbleupon.com/url/lawvibe.com/the-stupidest-things-lawyers-and-witnesses-say-in-a-court-of-law/

* Lawyer: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
* Witness: No.
* Lawyer: Did you check for blood pressure?
* Witness: No.
* Lawyer: Did you check for breathing?
* Witness: No.
* Lawyer: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
* Witness: No.
* Lawyer: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
* Witness: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
* Lawyer: But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?
* Witness: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere.




AMaster -> RE: People really said these in court. (11/3/2008 4:27:34 PM)

[:D][:D][:D]




knees2you -> RE: People really said these in court. (11/3/2008 10:35:20 PM)

I know a few people with their brains in a jar.[sm=cactus.gif]
 
Always, knees[sm=pullit.gif]




scifi1133 -> RE: People really said these in court. (11/3/2008 11:57:27 PM)

we have all at some point made statements like this in our lives. Fortunately most are forgotten. Some will stick with you forever....lol.




FourQ -> RE: People really said these in court. (11/4/2008 5:18:37 PM)

You guys should trying working Tech Support some time!




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