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A Blonde Calls Ticketmaster - 11/3/2008 8:28:03 PM

candystripper

Posts: 3486
Joined: 11/1/2005
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<Ringing.>

Hi, this is Abdul at Ticketmaster….I see you’re calling from Cleveland?

Ya, hi. I have company coming this weekend. What events are running on Sunday? I’d like a live performance.

I show one event like that Ma’am. How many tickets would you like? All we have left are the least expensive seats.

Ya? So, how much are the tickets? I need 6, okay?

They’re $200, Ma’am.

For all 6?

No, Ma’am. Each one is $200.

<Gasping sound.> So it's a concert? Who's playing?

No, it’s a football game, Ma’am. Browns vs. Patriots.

Hummm…I dunno. How long is it?

There’s no set time Ma’am.

Huh?

The game lasts until it’s over, Ma’am.

Well, what time does it start?

8 pm, Ma’am.

Okay. Well, maybe. Is there a coat check?

No, Ma’am, the game is in a stadium.

What’s a stadium like?

Its outside and holds 250,000 people in miniature seats.

Outside? But <crackle> I heard on the news it’ll be going down to below zero and a blizzard is expected.

Yes, Ma’am. But we haven’t added the blizzard surcharge yet, so you’re in luck.

<Inaudible mumbling.>

<Deep sigh.> Well, what’s the proper attire?

That depends, Ma’am. Will you and your guests be attending any of the riots?

Riots? <Inaudible mumbling.>

Yes, Ma’am. Most customers like to arrive several hours before kick off and get very, vey drunk in the parking lot, and then of course, if the Browns lose, there’ll be the after-riot in the stadium since it’s a home game. Sometimes there's riot in the streets around the stadium too, but I can't promise that.

I thnk we'll pass on the riots.

Well, then you should get your guests tee shirts that say ‘Browns’ on them, unless they want to go bare-chested with the Browns logo painted on their body.

The tee shirts are available here for only $100 and the paint is $50 a bottle. And of course they’ll all need air guns and big foamy fingers. Those are $25 apiece.

Well, I’ll think about that. Maybe I can ask somebody.

So, what is a football game like? Is it like basketball?

No, Ma’am. There’s a bunch of confusing rules and the guys whale on each other, but they’re all wearing a whole bunch of protective gear and they grab each others' asses a lot.

<Inaudible mumbling.>

Thanks anyway. I guess I’ll see what’s going on at the museum.

Bye.

<Loud click.>
candystripper

< Message edited by candystripper -- 11/3/2008 8:48:57 PM >

Post #: 1

RE: A Blonde Calls Ticketmaster - 11/4/2008 5:21:27 AM

Dnomyar

Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline

Do they still play football in Cleveland? One of these day if I can think up a good reason I will make my way over to Cleveland. I will have to concede this. Ohio State will beat Michigan(ckoke) this year.

(in reply to candystripper)

Post #: 2

RE: A Blonde Calls Ticketmaster - 11/4/2008 5:22:34 AM

VirginPotty

Posts: 11624
Joined: 7/16/2008
From: Virginville
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Op, there's a place JUST FOR JOKES. Check out the "Humor" section.

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Post #: 3

RE: A Blonde Calls Ticketmaster - 11/4/2008 6:01:42 AM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
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oh..this was a joke?

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Post #: 4

RE: A Blonde Calls Ticketmaster - 11/4/2008 6:02:33 AM

VirginPotty

Posts: 11624
Joined: 7/16/2008
From: Virginville
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My sentiments exactly, Monkey, but I kept that to myself 'cuz..........................

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Post #: 5

RE: A Blonde Calls Ticketmaster - 11/4/2008 6:06:06 AM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
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From: Savannah, GA
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*ducks*

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Supreme Goddess of Snark
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Post #: 6

RE: A Blonde Calls Ticketmaster - 11/4/2008 6:08:55 AM

sambamanslilgirl

Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline

fast reply

that's what you get when you outsource Ticketmaster to India

< Message edited by sambamanslilgirl -- 11/4/2008 6:09:55 AM >

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Post #: 7

RE: A Blonde Calls Ticketmaster - 11/4/2008 6:09:22 AM

masterofholly

Posts: 197
Joined: 9/26/2007
Status: offline

Lets us please get it right. Holly is not a blonde and it was the Steelers/Browns game.

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Post #: 8

RE: A Blonde Calls Ticketmaster - 11/4/2008 6:10:32 AM

KMsAngel

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*molesticates mrholly for returning to us*

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Post #: 9

RE: A Blonde Calls Ticketmaster - 11/4/2008 6:12:51 AM

masterofholly

Posts: 197
Joined: 9/26/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: KMsAngel

*molesticates mrholly for returning to us*

Young lady, watch what you are grabbing! And please do it again.

(in reply to KMsAngel)

Post #: 10

RE: A Blonde Calls Ticketmaster - 11/4/2008 6:15:32 AM

purepleasure

Posts: 6941
Joined: 4/9/2004
From: Lehigh Valley, PA
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quote:

ORIGINAL: masterofholly

quote:

ORIGINAL: KMsAngel

*molesticates mrholly for returning to us*

Young lady, watch what you are grabbing! And please do it again.

videotapes the above for posterior....erm... posterity

_____________________________

Patience, grasshopper.

Your stupidity does not impress me.

blame it on your hormones!!! - beerbug aka ydd

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Post #: 11

RE: A Blonde Calls Ticketmaster - 11/4/2008 6:18:54 AM

KMsAngel

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Joined: 4/13/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: purepleasure

quote:

ORIGINAL: masterofholly

quote:

ORIGINAL: KMsAngel

*molesticates mrholly for returning to us*

Young lady, watch what you are grabbing! And please do it again.

videotapes the above for posterior....erm... posterity

hang on *finds glasses, puts them on*

NOW *molesticateswithintenttowatchthistime*

_____________________________

20 fluffy points!

flightless cherub

(in reply to purepleasure)

Post #: 12

RE: A Blonde Calls Ticketmaster - 11/4/2008 6:49:14 AM

PeterJay

Posts: 1220
Joined: 9/24/2006
Status: offline

I don't know much about the Browns, but how do they count in Detroit?
0-1, 0-2, 0-3, 0-4, 0-5, 0-6. 0-7, 0-8....

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Post #: 13

RE: A Blonde Calls Ticketmaster - 11/4/2008 9:31:59 AM

candystripper

Posts: 3486
Joined: 11/1/2005
Status: offline

No, it's not a joke exactly.

I would have a conversation pretty much like the one in the Op about most any sport you can name. What is the appeal of watching people drive around in circles, or beat one another within an inch of their lives? What for Gawd's sake is the appeal of even playing golf, never mind watching someone else do it? If I find myself in a lovely manicured garden I enjoy to looking at and smelling the plants and wandering. I think such places are gorgeous.

I can't understand giving up rich pleasure to watch someone else hit a teeny-weeny ball with specially made sticks.

I've watched people get as exercised about a sports team as some of us have about the election for U.S. President being held today. If their team doesn't not win -- especially against a 'rival'-- they actually get depressed snd stressed out. About a game? Really? thus justy mystifies me.

I also think it's very, very unusual to be so 'sports-blind'.   The phenom is just a silly, randm bit in the world.. That's why I posted it here. It amuses me, so I wrote the Op tongue-in-cheek style.

candystripper

(in reply to PeterJay)

Post #: 14

RE: A Blonde Calls Ticketmaster - 11/4/2008 9:49:31 AM

WinsomeDefiance

Posts: 6719
Joined: 8/7/2007
Status: offline

See, my calls that find me talking to someone from India usually end up like this:

Tech Support: 'alo dis is insertindiscernablenamehere, 'ow may I help you, please.

Me: Hello, this is insertmmy namehre, what was your name again?

Tech Support: 'alo dis is insertindiscernablenamehere, 'ow may I be of service sir.

Me: (heavy sigh) Ok, (insert technical problem here)

Tech Support: insert indiscernable technobabble with impossible to interpret Indian accent.

Me: (heavy sigh) Sir, I'm sorry, but I am having difficulty understanding what you are saying.

Tech Support: insert indiscernable technobabble with impossible to interpret Indian accent.

Me: (exasperated sigh) Sir, umm, huh? I don't understand what you are saying.

Tech Support: I am speaking in English ma'am. What are you not understanding?

Me: All of it, can you try speaking American?

Tech Support: Please Hold miss.

...................................................................................................

(in reply to candystripper)

Post #: 15

RE: A Blonde Calls Ticketmaster - 11/4/2008 9:55:57 AM

CalifChick

Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: candystripper

No, it's not a joke exactly. ... The phenom is just a silly, randm bit in the world.. That's why I posted it here. It amuses me, so I wrote the Op tongue-in-cheek style.

Well perhaps you could tell us that up-front next time.

Cali

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(in reply to candystripper)

Post #: 16

RE: A Blonde Calls Ticketmaster - 11/4/2008 10:30:00 AM

tammystarm

Posts: 3045
Joined: 7/26/2006
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so sad its so true

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Post #: 17

RE: A Blonde Calls Ticketmaster - 11/4/2008 11:26:30 AM

purepleasure

Posts: 6941
Joined: 4/9/2004
From: Lehigh Valley, PA
Status: offline

does she have to be blonde? can't she be bald? or a redhead?

_____________________________

Patience, grasshopper.

Your stupidity does not impress me.

blame it on your hormones!!! - beerbug aka ydd

(in reply to tammystarm)

Post #: 18

RE: A Blonde Calls Ticketmaster - 11/4/2008 11:28:36 AM

Mercnbeth

Posts: 11766
Status: offline

quote:

...or a redhead?

hey now, we get enough "bad press" as it is...

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Post #: 19

RE: A Blonde Calls Ticketmaster - 11/4/2008 11:30:07 AM

LumusandtheLady

Posts: 1926
Joined: 11/1/2008
Status: offline

Hey, hey, Peaches, watch the redhead comments there......

(Oh wait, that's right, we're not real and this is all imaginary and illusionary...... )

Nevermind - carry on!

(in reply to purepleasure)

Post #: 20

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