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WhiplashSmile2 -> RE: Positive Verbal Humiliation? (11/4/2008 7:10:44 AM)
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Actually, it can if the verbal humilation is targeted towards some behavior that is CoDependent in nature. However, using verbal humilation in this manner requires that your partner is faced with the truth. You can also get the same results for change with a good old fashioned sit down talk (no verbal humilation) involved.
My views on how to deal with things and what tools or skills to use, is rather quickly changing in my mindset lately.
Verbal humilation being used for positive change, may or may not be effective with your partner. Goes back to their personality and the issues they have and the source of those issues. I have had Great success and Great Failure at using verbal humilation as a tool for positive change. So, it all depends. :-)
Then again, I've been in some very unhealthy relationships where the gloves could come off. I've never been the kind of person to cause anybody any great harm. I will say this, I did take somebody down with verbal humilation where they really needed an ass chewing because they were too stubborn about their own fucked behaviors. Down to the point they were crying like a baby. Later on to be Thanked for it.
I used to think I had a lot of things Mastered somewhat. However if your partner is a mental Masochist, Verbal humilation won't even fucking effect them one damn bit. You might as well shoot them with a nurf ball gun. Also, even addressing the issues in a civil conversation might not even work.
Goes back to your partner. All you are really doing is pointing out an issue, making them face it. Once they see the issue for what it really is, does it touch them in a manner where they themselves want to change for the good?
Remember you have to hit a nerve, hit upon some truth for it to be effective. Not everbody is emotional or mentally sensitive to verbal humilation. In fact, some people have a bit of "tune out" protection mechanism. Where they will totally tune somebody out who is on the verbal assault. So they might just look at you like they were a Deer in the head lights and not be hearing a damn word you are saying.
So my answer is this, it all depends upon how your partner responds to it. None the less, you have to address the issue itself in the middle of Verbal Humilation, just as much if you were in a heart to heart talk. The goal is to make them face and see the ugly truth about their behavior or issues. This is not Verbal Humilation for fun and games. You can actually verbally humilate somebody with or without any name calling as well. Many people have this notion that Humilation is about Name Calling this is not what it's all about.
Hope this somewhat helps you some.
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