AAkasha
Posts: 4429
Joined: 11/27/2004
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quote:
ORIGINAL: MR526
Why do I need ideas? Well, let's put it this way... I know things that I have done before... I'm trying to plan the evening so it is special. Hence, I don't need advice on how to properly hold a paddle, flogger whatever, nor do I need advice on how to tie basic things, although there are certainly some bondage things I'd like to get better at.
I think the difference for me from Akasha is that I tend to be more of a pleasure Domme than a control Domme. I derive pleasure from making my boy tremble, from his desire for me, his obedience. Sure I am going to do what makes me happy as well. But I want this to be a memorable experience for both of us.
I figured that some people probably went to efforts to plan a special evening for their partner and found some things exciting. Some ideas that I had were perhaps playing a game where he is timed and has to find clues to get to the next thing with a draw from a jar of rewards or a jar of consequences. I know a lot of what he likes and dislikes and can have a lot of fun with that. I could have bdsm things hidden along with little rewards such as a candy or whatever. I figure I will start the mood early on with some control moves while we are out as well... perhaps slipping some panties into his hand at the bowling alley and ordering him to change.
I'm sure it will be fine. If anyone has any other creative ideas that went well, I'd love to hear them. I know that anything we do will be new to *us* but as I mentioned, *I* want something special.
Miss Robin
Actually, I get off on reactions, also. But I still go about it kind of reverse. I still initiate and execute ideas based on what is going to make me hot and push my buttons, and I take that energy and arousal and use that as a tool to further torment, tease, arouse and excite my "victim."
Button pushing - for both subs and even vanilla men - is 30% "the act" and 70% "how much the femdom enjoys it" (maybe even higher percentages depending on the wiring of the subs). Rather than having total strangers try to ratchet up the intensity and nature of the acts (which will all vary depending on your sub anyway), the tangibles you can control are your tools of seduction, the way you convey your pleasure and arousal and then how you build on that intensity. So much of that is in the moment - you act, you watch his reaction, you build once you see how he's being affected. It's a lovely snowball.
The tools I suggest: Seduction. Mystery. Be unpredictable. Be dangerously playful. Be erotically selfish. Be over-the-top clear, blatant and even vulgar (if you can do it comfortably) about the level and intensity of YOUR arousal. Manhandle him. Be physically and sensually in his space so your aroused presence overloads his senses.
If you are unsure of what his darkest, hottest fantasies are, restrain him, blindfold him, and make him confess them to you. Then take them, manipulate them, and use them in a manner that gets you hot. Putting a man in a helpless situation and then spinning erotic tales (verbally) to him, fantasies, what "if" moments, while pleasuring yourself at his expense, is a wonderful way to extract additional hot buttons and find out what makes him all weak kneed. Then take that info and use it against him in a delicious manner.
Have fun with it. Push his buttons, but push your own, too.
Akasha
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