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Spoiled Rotten - 11/4/2008 2:15:39 PM   
AAkasha


Posts: 4429
Joined: 11/27/2004
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Ladies, do you enjoy being "spoiled rotten"?  Do you indulge in selfish behaviors, demand attention, want to be given things on a whim - whether it be attention or gifts? 

Subs - are you attracted to women who have a high need to be pampered, spoiled, or treated exceptionally well? Does it add to the vibe in the relationship if you feel she's high maintenance, demanding, and has very high expectations with regards to how she is treated - from having an impeccable gentleman with opening doors, deferring to her, praising her a lot, doting on her, carrying her bags, etc?  Is this kind of 'work' enjoyable or tedious, and more a side-effect of having a femdom partner?

Akasha


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RE: Spoiled Rotten - 11/4/2008 2:19:16 PM   
lusciouslips19


Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline 		I am a female sub and I like being a spoiled princess. Spoiled but not spoiled rotten. Because though I may be spoiled, so is he. We both have never had it so good.

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RE: Spoiled Rotten - 11/4/2008 2:24:26 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		I think people in general like to be pampered or spoiled to some degree.  Who doesn't want to feel special? lol  I do not demand... and to some degree, I don't expect to be pampered or spoiled.  I love to be treated well and have a place of importance to someone and I love to give those things as well.  I would find less value in having to demand it all.  Given from a free spirit and heart... mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

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RE: Spoiled Rotten - 11/4/2008 2:45:17 PM   
Venatrix


Posts: 2238
Joined: 11/28/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha

Ladies, do you enjoy being "spoiled rotten"?  Do you indulge in selfish behaviors, demand attention, want to be given things on a whim - whether it be attention or gifts? 



I don't think I've behaved that way since I was five.

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RE: Spoiled Rotten - 11/4/2008 2:52:35 PM   
AAkasha


Posts: 4429
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Venatrix

quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha

Ladies, do you enjoy being "spoiled rotten"?  Do you indulge in selfish behaviors, demand attention, want to be given things on a whim - whether it be attention or gifts? 



I don't think I've behaved that way since I was five.


I know a couple of women that act like this but they are not dominant or kinky. They just enjoy being this way.  At the same time, I know a few submissive men who got mixed up with women like this, and they did it hoping that beneath the Princess exterior was a dominant woman, and ultimately they found out it was just a bitch.  However, they still seem to have a love/hate relationship with the way they are treated - makes me wonder if it's a form of submission for them that is not ideal, but better than nothing.

Personally, I am not much for the pampering or doting in a "princess" or spoiled sense, but I am absolutely like that when it comes to indulging my sadistic side.  That is to say, I like to mix a demanding nature with a streak of cruelty and an amusement at my submissive's "plight," but it's in the context of a game, a "scene" or foreplay, it's never an ongoing, never ending theme.  Takes too much energy.

At the same time, I am absolutely spoiled in many areas without having to be demanding about it or have an ego about it. My meals are prepared for me, my car is washed, my dishes are done for me and I don't do laundry.  And he does carry my bags but only because I let him, it's not a matter of attitude, more the functionality of our relationship.

It seems that some submissive men seek out this kind of inequality though.

Akasha


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RE: Spoiled Rotten - 11/4/2008 3:10:47 PM   
OttersSwim


Posts: 2860
Joined: 9/1/2008
Status: offline 		As a submissive, I view pampering my Lady as a large part of my service.  Manicures, pedicures, massages, hair brushing, ironing, makeup, bathing rituals, cooking and cleaning, opening doors, and even doing the traditionally manly powertool and heavy lifting thing for her makes me feel great and she really enjoys it!  She is not in any way demanding about it, but makes it clear that she enjoys it and so it becomes a joy to do for her.  

< Message edited by OttersSwim -- 11/4/2008 3:11:20 PM >

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RE: Spoiled Rotten - 11/4/2008 3:19:58 PM   
StrictnSaucy


Posts: 363
Joined: 1/6/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

I think people in general like to be pampered or spoiled to some degree.  Who doesn't want to feel special? lol  I do not demand... and to some degree, I don't expect to be pampered or spoiled.  I love to be treated well and have a place of importance to someone and I love to give those things as well.  I would find less value in having to demand it all.  Given from a free spirit and heart... mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm


What she said :-)

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RE: Spoiled Rotten - 11/4/2008 3:22:00 PM   
Venatrix


Posts: 2238
Joined: 11/28/2007
Status: offline 		Otter, your post has just clarified my thinking, and for which I thank you.  I've hidden my profile whilst I consider the type of relationship I want most, and what you've written is exactly what I don't want - not that there's anything wrong with it if someone does want it.  What I want is someone who will help me with these things:

I cook, he assists.  I vacuum, he does the dishes.  I do the laundry, he cleans the toilet, and so on.  He supports me whilst I work on my writing.  I've been far too independent since I divorced just to start lolling around the house doing nothing, and I would find that kind of relationship irksome.  It's strange how we sometimes need to see the reverse of what we want in order to figure out what we do want.  I may well be revising that profile sooner than I thought.

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RE: Spoiled Rotten - 11/4/2008 3:50:24 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		I need attention.  Daily phone calls, small gestures of affection, that kind of thing.  I am absolutely a princess, but I am the princess in the story who works hard and comes up with the solution to the enchantment at the end of the day.  I would love to be a trophy wife, but I couldn't just sit around like a lump and do nothing for myself, let alone do nothing for my mate! 

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RE: Spoiled Rotten - 11/4/2008 3:57:32 PM   
beeble


Posts: 799
Joined: 5/25/2005
From: UK
Status: offline
quote:

AAkasha wrote: It seems that some submissive men seek out this kind of inequality though.

Yeah but some submissive men would settle for anything that said it wore a skirt and called them `worm'.

beeble

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RE: Spoiled Rotten - 11/4/2008 4:09:05 PM   
OttersSwim


Posts: 2860
Joined: 9/1/2008
Status: offline 		Venatrix, glad that my post was of service to you.  

Let me clarify that while I do these things to please my Lady, she is not sitting about like some lump - we are working together on most of these things.  If I am cooking, she will set the table or help chop things, or get the wine open, etc.  I make the bed and try to clean up her place when we are together - she goes to work early, I later - so she comes home to a mostly clean house.  As for the manicures, pedicures, etc...well she sits back and enjoys those as she should - they are for her pleasure and part of my worship and love of her person.  Something I enjoy doing a lot.   


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RE: Spoiled Rotten - 11/4/2008 4:28:45 PM   
MsStarlett


Posts: 1879
Joined: 12/23/2007
Status: offline 		I would love to be pampered.  Don't get it.  But I'll be happy with my pup who sends me virtual coffee every morning.  Who escorts me to the party and digs to the bottom of the candy dish to find me the chocolates that I like because he knows that I like them, not because I asked him to.  He makes sure I have my coat and things when I leave.  Sometimes, it's the little things that people do for us that show they care that are far more touching than all that "Princess" stuff.

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the hands acquire shakes, the shakes become a warning,
It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.

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RE: Spoiled Rotten - 11/4/2008 4:30:20 PM   
ShiftedJewel


Posts: 2492
Joined: 12/2/2004
Status: offline 		Ok, maybe I'm spoiled "rotten"... I don't know. I'm not demanding or high maint. I'm easy to get along with and super understanding. I don't mind pitching in and doing what needs to be done when the help is needed. But for the most part I guess I could be construed as that "lump" everyone is talking about... I'm really not concerned about gifts and stuff like that but I do want the attention. I want the daily communication and when they are here I want their undivided attention. I won't even compete with the tv. I want them to know what I want or need just by knowing me, I want them to understand when it's ok to voice an opinion and when it's the right time to simply reply "yes ma'am" just by the look in my eye. Yeah, I want it to be all about me... I want to be the center of their universe.
 
But... I'm not selfish, not by a long shot. I give. I give of me, my time, my affection, my devotion, my love, my attention, my praise. I pay attention to their moods, needs, wants and desire. I take notice when they aren't feeling 100% and baby the hell out of them when they're ill. I do everything in my power to see to it that they never do without for any reason. What they say is important to me. Mistakes happen and I'm very understanding about correcting things as we go. Bad days happen and I don't have a problem with that.
 
I see it as a fair trade. But that's just me.
 
Jewel

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RE: Spoiled Rotten - 11/4/2008 6:04:07 PM   
SthrnCom4t


Posts: 343
Joined: 9/9/2007
Status: offline 		To add to what Otter has posted -

Yes, he spoils me, ROTTEN! We have a lot of contact and talk about everything. He holds open doors, but only because he gets there first most of the time. I'm terribly independent and unless he's been observant and anticipated my needs, I probably got up and got that drink of water or wine refill myself.

He cooks...he's a fabulous cook. I'm not! But I have no problem picking up the tab for a dinner out. He triages my refrigerator...I'm a typical bachlorette. I create science experiments! I've often said I need a wife, as I love my job, but am not 'naturally domestic'.

I sit on the bed and hand him hardware - he uses the power drill to hang my curtains. Do I love that he and I can be such a wonderful team. Absolutely. Do I leave him lists of chores to do while I go shop or hang out with the girls...NO!

I come up with a list of things I want to do for the day....its a pretty long list and not very realistic. He makes suggestions and we narrow it down to manageable together. He drives and guides the tour through the Home Depot....a man on a mission!

Does he wear my panties while we do all of the above....on some days, YES! Who gets tied up and holds My clover clamps on his nipples, while I leave bit marks on his neck....he does! It's really a lovely dynamic in which each of us puts forth an equal effort, just in different ways.

Bottom line, I think a good submissive/slave deeply cares about the happiness of his Lady, and observes her wants, needs and desires <whatever they may be> and does his best to please her in all ways. In turn, he is her most valuable partner, and She's extremely concerned about his needs getting met. <which sometimes include 'suffering for Her pleasure>

Sthrn
Honorably served by OttersSwim

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RE: Spoiled Rotten - 11/4/2008 7:03:02 PM   
UmbraDomina


Posts: 491
Joined: 7/22/2008
From: SE Michigan
Status: offline 		I am pretty spoiled...... I am pampered, adored, and loved. My beloved hubbypet opens doors, holds chairs, offers his arm to steady me on heels, he helps me with my coat, he cooks( he's a former executive chef, yes I am lucky), he cleans (we do share house chores as we both work full time), he drops off dry cleaning, he makes sure my glass or cup is full, he lights my cigars, he books me time at my favorite spa, he bought me a massage table and took classes just so he would know how to properly massage me.
Is he weak, wimpy or a puss for doing any of this? hell no, he is simply happy in his place, which is at my side, making me happy.


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Alexandra ~

~~ And I will show you something different from either your shadow at morning striding behind you Or your shadow at evening rising to meet you; I will show you fear in a handful of dust..... T.S. Elliot ~~

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RE: Spoiled Rotten - 11/4/2008 7:16:06 PM   
VampiresLair


Posts: 1307
Joined: 9/3/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha


Ladies, do you enjoy being "spoiled rotten"?  Do you indulge in selfish behaviors, demand attention, want to be given things on a whim - whether it be attention or gifts? 

Akasha


Actually, no, i cannot stand that sort of behavior, in myself or others. I like being spoiled in terms of having things done for me around the house so I dont have to do them, and having massages whenever I like. But I find being selfish and overly demanding to be particularly unattractive traits, so I avoid them.

DV


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10/18 Wedding date. 1 year and still blissfully happy

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RE: Spoiled Rotten - 11/4/2008 7:25:52 PM   
Venatrix


Posts: 2238
Joined: 11/28/2007
Status: offline 		Ah, yes I see now.  Otter did rather make it sound in his first post as if he did everything, but I expect that was just his enthusiasm running away with him.  As I said, his post was helpful to me because it engendered such a visceral reaction of not wanting to be considered by my sub as incapable of holding my own.  I've worked extremely hard to be independent on many levels, and I won't tie myself down to someone who denigrates that quality.  My comments are not intended to cast aspersions of any sort on your relationship, it was more that Otter facilitated a small bout of free thinking on my part.  So, given the nature of this thread, I suppose that makes me anti-spoilt rotten.

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RE: Spoiled Rotten - 11/4/2008 8:52:31 PM   
Leira


Posts: 8
Joined: 8/12/2007
Status: offline 		I love to be spoiled, but don't want to be spoiled rotten. A big part of what I like and respect about myself is my independence and my interdependence. Also, having been sick a lot in my life I really value being able to do the things I can do.

Some boys seem to be really disappointed when I want to carry my own bags. Once I see that I try to wear prettier shoes around them, because that's the only thing that'll make me not carry my own bags! If I'm wearing pretty shoes instead of comfy ones, the boy has to do everything even remotely strenuous for me. That's my rule.

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RE: Spoiled Rotten - 11/4/2008 9:38:35 PM   
OttersSwim


Posts: 2860
Joined: 9/1/2008
Status: offline 		Miss Venatrix, you are one of the people I admire most on this forum.  From our first interaction, it was clear that you are a Lady who knows what she wants and how to get it.  No aspersions have been taken...though, you might try the spoil rotten path some time...ya never know...you may like it!  

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RE: Spoiled Rotten - 11/4/2008 9:54:04 PM   
mummyman321


Posts: 2102
Joined: 10/31/2005
From: Dusseldorf
Status: offline 		I can honestly say I do not enjoy spoiling a Domme. I want a Domme to enjoy me for who I am and not what I can buy her. On the other hand I think at time chivilary is almost dead in this country. I enjoy being a gentleman and being chivilaris and that has nothing to do with BDSM, it was how I was raised. I actually have the view that the small things in life are more important than the big things in life. Buying flowers/candy/presents on the big holidays is not only expected but is what everyone else is doing. But how many take the time to go buy flowers or a card when they notice you have had a bad week? The small things matter just as much as the big things. The real difference is if your sub takes the time to recognize those small things. Then the sub truly knows you and care about you.

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Life - Its not about where you are but about the journey to get there - I prefer to choose the road less traveled

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