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housebitch -> RE: MY stupid mistakes and what they did to me (11/5/2008 5:27:49 PM)
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ok, i have to weigh in here. i agree 100% with Soulpiercer (among others) on this one. The 'why' is extremely important here. Why is it important? (to follow my own advice...)
Think about these 2 scenarios...or two "why's", if you will:
A) Let's say it happened because he is a 'switch' that gets upset with himself everytime he lets a woman dominate him and feels like less of a man, etc. after it is all over he hates himself for it and lashes out in anger. (this also happens to pure subs as well, to be fair...)
-or-
B) He was just new to all this and made the mistake of thinking it would be 'more' than just play and (as a newbie) just didnt understand the difference between simple 'play' in our scene and a real 'relationship', etc. In other words, as a first time for him it was overwhelming, and he fell in love ('lust'?) while his tormentor is a little more experienced and saw it as just 'play'. So he felt hurt and lashed out.
See the difference? With "A" it will be a repeating pattern over, and over, and over again- unable to control that feeling of self-loathing and the only person he will have to lash out at is his Domme. Not good.
With "B", it may simply be a misunderstanding of the scene as he starts out in it and now that he 'gets it' he can enjoy it for what it is and open himself up to further learning from this Domme w/o incident.
I have no idea what the real reason was for this. But that's the point. It is a big difference between something that will occur over and over (and possibly put the Domme - dare i say - at physical risk due to a sub's mental instability) and a guy that just didnt get it and now understands that every girl that beats him doesnt neccessarily love him! (Boy, did THAT feel wierd to write! :-)
Its like a guy that drives 45mph in a school zone because he's late for a meeting and doesnt care if he hits a kid in order to be on time - or because he just didnt see the traffic sign. Same law broken- but the 'why' makes all the difference in judging the action. The first one will do it again whenever they feel like it. The second will be more likely slow down once the sign is pointed out to them.
Does that make any sense? Sometimes my analogies only make sense to me... :-)
Anyway, hope that sheds some light. Although, i have to say that the fact that he still hasnt answered the 'why' (and seems to be avoiding it) sheds more light on the potential 'why'. I am leaning toward something in the "A" category, rather than "B". Either that, or he is like most young males in general- sorely lacking in the ability to communicate via written or spoken word. (Although i have to give him some credit- pretty good 'wank fodder' in the beginning, so i guess when he's 'motivated', he can write... ;-)
peace & chicken grease. im out.
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