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RE: personality crisis - 12/17/2005 9:22:16 PM   
MissDiandSirHugh


Posts: 1158
Joined: 8/11/2005
From: Goondiwindi ( Qld )
Status: offline 		We would not be able to do it either because to us friendship and respect are two very important parts of every thing and if we could not form them with some one even if it was for just casual play then there would just be no play.

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RE: personality crisis - 12/18/2005 12:51:59 AM   
HCWT1


Posts: 161
Joined: 7/7/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: foxglove716

If you were looking for a short term relationship with a master/mistress/slave, do you think you could go through with it if you didnt actually like them as a person? If all the other elements were there, attractive, pervy in just your sort of way, but you just didnt like their personality, would you still consider it?


(Why not) As a sub trained to serve in what ever form required
I would simply do it like a job.
I do not have to like a dom or domme to serve them,as for me bdsm
is not a sexual thing.
I will agree that it would be esier to except and go alot futher with
somone that i have an affinity with.

HCWT1

(in reply to foxglove716)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: personality crisis - 12/18/2005 1:34:30 AM   
Padriag


Posts: 2633
Joined: 3/30/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: foxglove716

If you were looking for a short term relationship with a master/mistress/slave, do you think you could go through with it if you didnt actually like them as a person? If all the other elements were there, attractive, pervy in just your sort of way, but you just didnt like their personality, would you still consider it?

Nope... would not work and would end up being a VERY short term relationship. I don't generally care for short term relationships anyway, but in any relationship there has to be more substance there... more "meat to the stew." Physical attraction or shared kinks are enough for more than just being play partners and casual relationships.

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Padriag

A stern discipline pervades all nature, which is a little cruel so that it may be very kind - Edmund Spencer

(in reply to foxglove716)
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RE: personality crisis - 12/18/2005 7:09:02 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Padriag
Nope... would not work and would end up being a VERY short term relationship. I don't generally care for short term relationships anyway, but in any relationship there has to be more substance there... more "meat to the stew." Physical attraction or shared kinks are enough for more than just being play partners and casual relationships.

As someone who CAN and DOES play and fuck casually...I still wouldn't choose it to be with someone I didn't like. What's the point in that? Whether it's a dinner date or a lifetime commitment, choosing someone you don't even like is just wasting your time, not serving you, and just generally a bad idea.

(in reply to Padriag)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: personality crisis - 12/18/2005 7:13:19 AM   
MHOO314


Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline 		for Me, even in a casual scene, if the dynamics aren't there--I do not have the focus--that is then not fair to the sub--IMHO

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Mistress Hathor


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RE: personality crisis - 12/18/2005 7:26:13 AM   
Eleganthands1


Posts: 2
Joined: 12/7/2005
Status: offline 		The answer is no.......However strong the other attractions are....If you find certain aspects distasteful, you will only find distaste with yourself....I do believe that people can work around areas of play and that there are exceptions to most rules...But if the essence does not feel right......Take a pass angel......Be well, Eleganthands1

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RE: personality crisis - 12/18/2005 7:43:02 AM   
Padriag


Posts: 2633
Joined: 3/30/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross


As someone who CAN and DOES play and fuck casually...I still wouldn't choose it to be with someone I didn't like. What's the point in that? Whether it's a dinner date or a lifetime commitment, choosing someone you don't even like is just wasting your time, not serving you, and just generally a bad idea.

Heh... well I guess that settles it then, just doesn't make sense for anyone. Now if only everyone made sense.

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Padriag

A stern discipline pervades all nature, which is a little cruel so that it may be very kind - Edmund Spencer

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: personality crisis - 12/18/2005 10:02:58 PM   
Sensualips


Posts: 1013
Joined: 10/8/2005
Status: offline 		Oh all right. I'll play devil's advocate. Just because SOMEONE has to say yes. I can think of a scenario where a yes could happen for me.

If the person I was bottoming for instructed me to engage in a short term relationship (like a scene?) with someone I didn't particularly like as a person -- then yes, I would "go through with it." This is assuming I had an ongoing relationship with this dominant/top and this was not a limit of mine we had agreed upon.

I know that was maybe not exactly what the OP asked, but that was the first "yes" scenario I could think of. I bet there are more though.

(in reply to foxglove716)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: personality crisis - 12/19/2005 4:52:45 AM   
MasterRobert1


Posts: 225
Joined: 7/18/2005
Status: offline 		The important question is, Could you? What anyone else can, or can't, do is irrelevant. It's what YOU can do that counts.

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Profile   Post #: 29
RE: personality crisis - 12/19/2005 4:58:39 AM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		I don't understand why you would enter into a relationship (short-term or otherwise) with someone you didn't like. I would be conflicted about it and I know I wouldn't enjoy it. I'd rather be with someone I'm crazy about.

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“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
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(in reply to MasterRobert1)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: personality crisis - 12/19/2005 5:56:41 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Sensualips
I know that was maybe not exactly what the OP asked, but that was the first "yes" scenario I could think of. I bet there are more though.

That's being told to do so, not choosing to do so.

You are choosing to obey.

(in reply to Sensualips)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: personality crisis - 12/19/2005 11:43:07 AM   
MasterLark


Posts: 249
Joined: 5/12/2005
Status: offline 		Not to join the chorus here, but NO. No because if I didn't like the person as a person, we most likely don't share most of the same values, and that would be immensely important to build and sustain trust between over the short term or long term.

(in reply to foxglove716)
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RE: personality crisis - 12/19/2005 12:37:50 PM   
Sensualips


Posts: 1013
Joined: 10/8/2005
Status: offline
quote:

You are choosing to obey.


Hmm, true -- but obeying does absolve you from your actions. The end result is still that you are in a short term encounter with someone you do not like..you did "go through with it."

Of course the OP said looking for short term and clearly obeying is not the same as seeking on your own.

Okay, I am still thinking. I am just SURE there is a scenario where I would accept a short term relationship even if I didn't like the personality. Really hot sex or potential fulfilled scene fantasy is a strong motivator. The relationship would just be REALLY short term. If someone has expertise in an area but I find him/her not real entertaining or thought provoking on a social level, I might still be interested in being involved with them to learn a specific skill or experience a specific thing this person has the required knowledge and/or equipment.

< Message edited by Sensualips -- 12/19/2005 12:42:13 PM >

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: personality crisis - 12/19/2005 12:39:11 PM   
willing2serve


Posts: 385
Joined: 4/6/2004
Status: offline
quote:

If you were looking for a short term relationship with a master/mistress/slave, do you think you could go through with it if you didnt actually like them as a person?


In my humble opinion, you could, if there was something you could learn from this person, such as control and obedience or possibly just the basics. It depended on what your motive was in the relationship.

In your question, no where is sex mentioned or casual sex that was added on down the thread.

Before my Master, i didnt always make the most rational decisions (smile), but i went into a closed 3 month contract very specific into what was expected from both sides. My main concern was training. I did learn respect comes derservingly not with a paper contract. It wasnt a successful contract, but to answer your question, it is possible to do it.

Please note, I am not an advocate of casual play in the least. This was more of an experience and training contract with a safe, nice person.

Respectfully,
BTs willing

< Message edited by willing2serve -- 12/19/2005 12:41:37 PM >

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Profile   Post #: 34
RE: personality crisis - 12/19/2005 1:06:35 PM   
afmvdp


Posts: 494
Joined: 7/10/2004
Status: offline 		well in a way you sort of answered your own question, didn't you? You are not looking for long term, you are looking for immediate short term satisfaction. If you were desiring to build a relationship, then the semantics of life goals, personalities, long term desires and such play a major role. If you are not, then none of these desires really matter all that much.

Now if the personality difference is so extreme that it would take away from the other aspects and actually hinder your enjoyment rather than help to encite it, then obviously it is too important of a factor for you to overlook. Otherwise it all comes down to what it is that YOU actually are looking for.

And if they have what you are looking for, then the path before you is already laid out rather nicely. If not, let the hunt begin again.

(in reply to foxglove716)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: personality crisis - 12/19/2005 1:13:43 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Sensualips
If someone has expertise in an area but I find him/her not real entertaining or thought provoking on a social level, I might still be interested in being involved with them to learn a specific skill or experience a specific thing this person has the required knowledge and/or equipment.


Aha, I agree, hence my original response:
Family, professional, political or societal is one thing.

(in reply to Sensualips)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: personality crisis - 12/19/2005 1:48:38 PM   
NakedOnMyChain


Posts: 2431
Joined: 11/29/2004
From: Indiana
Status: offline 		Oh, probably. I was with a guy I hated for three years, so I could probably do something short term.
(No, actually I wouldn't. I learned my lesson.)

_____________________________

"Oh, it's torture, but I'm almost there."
~The Cure

"I ask for so little. Just fear me, love me, do as I say, and I will be your slave."
~The Labyrinth

(in reply to foxglove716)
Profile   Post #: 37
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