Is this normal or just mean?

Is this normal or just mean? (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master

Message

usemekinky -> Is this normal or just mean? (11/5/2008 11:59:29 PM)
I had a Dom whom I have been speaking with for a little over a week tell me after I sent them a pic that they weren't interested because I was ugly. I was upset, I'll live, but it's hard not to take that personally. I don't have a lot of experience, so I was wondering, is it common for a Dom to disregard a subs feelings in this way?

DCWoody -> RE: Is this normal or just mean? (11/6/2008 12:04:18 AM)
No. Well. I guess I can only speak for my experience...but...no. Maybe some might in some kinda attempt to play into a subs humiliation interests...but.....

AquaticSub -> RE: Is this normal or just mean? (11/6/2008 12:06:17 AM)
~Fast Reply~ Did they specifically say "No, I think you are ugly" or was that the boiled down answer? I ask because it does matter if they tried to word it politely.

loulou74 -> RE: Is this normal or just mean? (11/6/2008 12:07:17 AM)
Most definitely mean usemekinky and totally unnecessary. I am sorry that this idiot deemed it fun to insult you. Ignore him, he is not worth the effort and move on to someone who will see you for the lovely person I am sure you are.

usemekinky -> RE: Is this normal or just mean? (11/6/2008 12:14:20 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: AquaticSub ~Fast Reply~ Did they specifically say "No, I think you are ugly" or was that the boiled down answer? I ask because it does matter if they tried to word it politely. No, he specifically said I was ugly. Had he of gracefully bailed out I would have been fine with it. I talk to a few Doms on here as friends who I'm aware are not interested in me in that way.

ElectraGlide -> RE: Is this normal or just mean? (11/6/2008 12:25:17 AM)
Dont be upset . It is not normal for someone to do that. It was a online heckler with nothing better to do then throw a insult at someone. I bet you are not the first person he or she insulted.

moonvine -> RE: Is this normal or just mean? (11/6/2008 12:30:33 AM)
I had one who blocked me after he saw my pictures, without saying anything. Some people are jerks. Doesn't mean everyone is (nor does everyone have the same taste in women)

AquaticSub -> RE: Is this normal or just mean? (11/6/2008 12:37:09 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: usemekinky quote: ORIGINAL: AquaticSub ~Fast Reply~ Did they specifically say "No, I think you are ugly" or was that the boiled down answer? I ask because it does matter if they tried to word it politely. No, he specifically said I was ugly. Had he of gracefully bailed out I would have been fine with it. I talk to a few Doms on here as friends who I'm aware are not interested in me in that way. In that case, no I don't think it's normal. At best, he may have thought it played into a fetish to be used but he probably was just an asshole.

mc1234 -> RE: Is this normal or just mean? (11/6/2008 12:39:05 AM)
You have to remember that a dom is a person, just like any other and can be rude and insulting, just like people can be outside D/s. Consider yourself lucky you avoided a jerk and move on. There are a number of ways he could have let you know he didn't feel an attraction rather than bluntly hurting your feelings. But he just sounds like an ass.

ChainGoddess -> RE: Is this normal or just mean? (11/6/2008 1:01:34 AM)
As with all other walks of life, there are many rude ungracious people on this board, there are also a lot of great people on here. You were unlucky to 'meet' the former. Of course you were upset by his comments, thats only natural. Forget all about him, move on and enjoy your journey.

colouredin -> RE: Is this normal or just mean? (11/6/2008 2:27:08 AM)
Yupo as has been said, some people are rude, im sure he would have found it far harder to do in real life. Some people actrively seek out people online to be rude too, I have ahd neumerous messages from people telling me im unattractive, just ignore it clearly he is is just socially illiterate

MadAxeman -> RE: Is this normal or just mean? (11/6/2008 4:16:20 AM)
I have fem friends on here who collect the worst and clumsiest approaches and swap them for light relief. One despairs over the inadequacies of my fellow doms at times. Beautiful girls get abused merely because they do not conform to narrow definitions or even more likely will not play. Please rest assured we are not all pigs. You will however need some mechanism to not be affected by such fools. Try a large pinch of salt.

came4U -> RE: Is this normal or just mean? (11/6/2008 5:06:23 AM)
Well..wow. Some people are just blatantly rude. He could have just told you that you were not what he was seeking yet he chose to be cruel instead. Sorry, you had to go through that. It is his loss, glad you found out early on what he was like. No one has the right to humiliate another like that, even in this lifestyle, given it is a new contact and no consent was given for such abuse.

cjan -> RE: Is this normal or just mean? (11/6/2008 5:15:55 AM)
It's not normal, it's unacceptable behavior, it's mean and cowardly , said by a loser hiding behind the anonymity of the internet. Consider yourself fortunate that you found out what an asshole he is early on.

OrionTheWolf -> RE: Is this normal or just mean? (11/6/2008 5:24:08 AM)
At least they were being honest, if that is their opinion. Some people are blunt and to the point. quote: ORIGINAL: usemekinky I had a Dom whom I have been speaking with for a little over a week tell me after I sent them a pic that they weren't interested because I was ugly. I was upset, I'll live, but it's hard not to take that personally. I don't have a lot of experience, so I was wondering, is it common for a Dom to disregard a subs feelings in this way?

Ellsa -> RE: Is this normal or just mean? (11/6/2008 5:33:19 AM)
Yes, it seems to be the norm. He's the Dom so he can. At least you know where he stands. He could have just said not interested, but wanted to hurt you, and it sounds like he succeeded. Thank your lucky stars that he did not lead you on for awhile and then disappear. Or get you to spend money on him. Read the sub/slaves board, it is full of advice to not get emotionally involved. Practice what you preach, be strong enough to let go.

celticlord2112 -> RE: Is this normal or just mean? (11/6/2008 6:13:26 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: usemekinky I had a Dom whom I have been speaking with for a little over a week tell me after I sent them a pic that they weren't interested because I was ugly. I was upset, I'll live, but it's hard not to take that personally. I don't have a lot of experience, so I was wondering, is it common for a Dom to disregard a subs feelings in this way? Don't know about "Doms" but rude little wanker shits do that all the time. It's why they're called rude little wanker shits. This much is certain: The man who will take you as his slave will not consider you ugly.

allthatjaz -> RE: Is this normal or just mean? (11/6/2008 6:18:33 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Ellsa Yes, it seems to be the norm. He's the Dom so he can. At least you know where he stands. He could have just said not interested, but wanted to hurt you, and it sounds like he succeeded. But he's not the Dom. They had only been speaking on here and that, in my opinion gives him little right to exert himself as a dominant. I met a guy off here once and he was as arrogant as sh-t. He looked me up and down and then his big ugly mug said 'I suppose you will do'. I found out later that he was an op on one of the chat pages on here and he was used to being so darn rude and insulting to women that he thought that was the 'true way', silly boy! Once insulted I just got turned off and wanted him to go. He then spent weeks trying to talk me round but I just blocked him.

lusciouslips19 -> RE: Is this normal or just mean? (11/6/2008 6:25:37 AM)
It's not normal. I have thought someone was not so attractive but I didnt say,"you're ugly. I might say," I know its just me and i know you will float others boat. What attracts people can be so allusive. But I am just not attracted to you, I'm sorry"

antipode -> RE: Is this normal or just mean? (11/6/2008 6:49:00 AM)
I don't know that he disregarded your feelings - he said what he thought, I assume. What he said is his perception, and you wanted him to sugarcoat his truth. Dunno that that would help. When I get mail from somebody who is obese I tell 'em I don't do fat women. If he did not otherwise get nassty or insult you, you really should get over it. Remember this is his perception, he has a right to his opinion, and you shouldn't be overly sensitive. I personally don't think this had anything to do with "disregarding your feelings" - if you can't take the heat, etc.

Page: [1] 2 3 4 5 next > >>

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.03125