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ORIGINAL: willing2serve

Thanks for all of the input...but when i get into these planning modes, my TELLING what to do starts entering in....

Master says it's my "business owner domme hat" ...I get into a chop-chop attitude, which is unbecoming as Master's slave.

For example, i have asked Master to allow me to plan out a fantasy scene that we both have... I do have his permission for this, but in the back of my mind, i have to remember, even though i am planning the scene and of who all is involved that when the actual scene takes place, my Master is in control.

Excitement brings out my Toppiness. This is not a complaint at all, just an observation of my actions...

Even if i have something very exciting to share with Sir verbally, i go so fast to stop and wait for Master's responses... speaking over my Sir.

Again, excitement begats Toppiness.

In my opinion, this behavior would only be considered "topping" because of your relationship with your Master in this lifestyle. Wanting to give gifts and getting excited are normal human emotions, and speaking over your Sir is just considered "interrupting" in the vanilla world. While that may not be a behavior that is acceptable, I wouldn't consider it "topping".

I personally couldn't have a relationship where my sub could not naturally show his emotions. Of course there is a time and place for everything, but I don't need to have total control to that level.

Happy Holidays

Be well,
Julie

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I personally couldn't have a relationship where my sub could not naturally show his emotions. Of course there is a time and place for everything, but I don't need to have total control to that level.

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ORIGINAL: willing2serve

I love to give presents and plan things, especially for my Master...but in doing these things, i run into one problem....I become "Toppy"

First let me say, my Master is a wonderful effective Master, no bah humbug, but he has a control fetish for sure..

I learned from a very dear slave friend to ask permission to plan certain things or events before i actually do them. Pleasing is not always obedience.

For his birthday after being allowed to plan the evening, i ran and jumped on the bed beside him and said, commandingly, "open this!"
We had a short lesson of who is in control..smile...

In being a "toppy giver", i lose my place and want to run the show out of pure excitement and wanting to please my Master.

With the holiday season upon us, do any of you experience becoming a "toppy giver"?

Respectfully,
BTs willing

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Well, I too can be quite demanding when it comes to things like this.
And while I understand what everyone else has shared,
and my own Sir is generally pleased with the enthusiasm and
joyful glee I exhibit, and even some innocent naivete I think,
I personally am not comfortable giving "orders" to him!

And it's funny, he's very indulgent and probably wouldn't be upset with me at all
or even offer any reprimand or training in the face of such behavior on my part,
it would just make ME uncomfortable.

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ORIGINAL: willing2serve
In being a "toppy giver", i lose my place and want to run the show out of pure excitement and wanting to please my Master.

With the holiday season upon us, do any of you experience becoming a "toppy giver"?

Respectfully,
BTs willing

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Pleasing is not always obedience.

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willing ... i think it comes down to basic mindfulness.

it doesn't sound like your Master wants you to tone down your enthusiasm. maybe you can find different wording in expressing it. for example ... instead of "open it" maybe you could say "are you ready to open it?" both can be said with equal excitement but the first is topping (according to your Master) and the second (in my opinion) is bottoming.

humbly,
sunshine

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I think your master is being a fool in my honest opinion.

Like saying 'open it'. Sign of happiness and joy and excitement.
Also if your in charge of events then its commensense that you would tell him what to do, after all he put you in charge of it, what can he expect.

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Can i ask your sign, this sound like typical behavior of a few of them like Virgo but also a few others, the chop chop way of doing things.

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LOL nothing to do with the season, many submissives have dominant personalities, or can be quite pushy with how they serve.

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Pleasing is not always obedience.

it is for this slave. Master's pleasure is paramount, and if He doesn't like suprises, then He sure as hell won't be getting any from this slave.

Master's unmentionable asked why He didn't have a stocking hanging from the mantle. this slave is very crafty and makes the stockings herself and as much as this slave would like to make one for Him, it ain't happenin'. Why? because His Christmas joy is not having or GETTING a stocking full of things, but GIVING by filling the stockings that are there full of things.