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24/7 Slaves - 8/6/2004 9:50:15 AM

MistressJada

Posts: 7
Joined: 8/2/2004
Status: offline

I notice that a lot of subs are looking to be owned in a 24/7 situation. Can anyone who has actually had 24/7 slaves comment on their experience with this? I am particularly interested in hearing from Dommes who have or have had male slaves. But any response would be appreciated.

Post #: 1

RE: 24/7 Slaves - 8/6/2004 10:36:18 AM

perverseangelic

Posts: 2625
Joined: 2/2/2004
From: Davis, Ca
Status: offline

How about people who are owned all the time? That's how I describe my situation...

Our dynamic is pretty simple, though. We live together, with roommates, and are both in college, so our sexuality is fairly low key. Simply put, I live my life as I want to, within a few basic rules, and he has the option of overruling any decision I make. He's not interested in micromanaging my life, and I'm not interested in someone who doesn't allow me basic initiative.

Honestly, we're non-traditional, from what I can tell. He's not like most dominant people I've met, as he's more interested in his personal confort/enjoyment than in fitting into a particular mold or form of behavior. We're both also very young, so we're still evovling in our relationship and in our modes of relating. Still, that's my five or six cents on the subject.

_____________________________

~in the begining it is always dark~

(in reply to MistressJada)

Post #: 2

RE: 24/7 Slaves - 8/6/2004 11:54:34 AM

NightDaughter

Posts: 264
Joined: 1/23/2004
From: Ontario, Canada
Status: offline

Well Master and I consider our M/s relationship to be 24/7, though I do not stay at home 24/7 I work outside the home at a job and I have my own private business that I run from our home.

Everyone has their deffintion of 24/7 and how it makes them feel. Some define it as one person at home 24/7 while the other works, others as set guide of rules which governs each day of their life at work and home. Personaly unless one of you has really good income I don't see how one can stay home, less there are medical reasons etc.

Some couples like micromanagement in their relationship, others don't I'm not a fan of it and neather is Master, however in some area such as when it comes to taking my Medications I do aprpeachate it when Master reminds me and makes sure that I do take them. Also recently making sure that I eat what I need to for medical reasons (which is hard for me, but having him help me though annoying will help me in the long run).

I think that regardless of what other people say that as long as it works for the both of you then call it 24/7 or what have you and thats that.

_____________________________

NightDaughter
My Blog - http://www.livejournal.com/users/nightdaughter/
"I never said that I could spell, but I do try my darndest to get my point across" - ND

(in reply to MistressJada)

Post #: 3

RE: 24/7 Slaves - 8/6/2004 1:53:58 PM

WayHome

Posts: 237
Joined: 8/4/2004
Status: offline

I too am interested in the experiences of other on this subject. It seems that "24/7" has a very different meaning in the BDSM community today than, say 20 years ago, or in the ever shrinking subculture of the "old guard" and "new guard".

My own relationship is full-time and is D/s. Based on many descriptions, that makes us 24/7. But we are friends first, and spouses second, master and servant third. The power dynamic is in the background of everything we do, but it's only in the foreground occasionally. From a more traditional definition, that makes us anything BUT 24/7.

Congratulations perverseangelic. It sounds like you have found a way to live out the best aspects of a 1950's ideal marriage. Feminism turned that lifestyle into a "kink", but someday that option will return in our culture as publicly acceptable for those that CHOOSE it. In the meantime, so many young couples will flounder and suffer trying to achieve more "modern" ideals which don't really suit them. Most don't realize what they need until they get much older. Be proud of your accomplishment.

(in reply to MistressJada)

Post #: 4

RE: 24/7 Slaves - 8/6/2004 3:00:00 PM

anthrosub

Posts: 843
Joined: 6/2/2004
Status: offline

Forgive me for not being able to comment from direct experience but i can add that discussions i've had with Ladies over the past couple years gives me the impression that 24/7 is a rare bird in the "on all the time" sense. The reasons i've been given seem to make sense; that it gets old very quickly, it's a lot of work particularly for the Dominant (unless this is something enjoyed), it conflicts with the pressures of everyday life, and economic reasons.

The most viable description (or mode) i've heard so far is keeping it in the background at a psychological level. Both parties agree that the power exchange never turns off even though day to day circumstances will warrant the occasional override. This can even add to the pleasure when you consider how a specific incident that made it necessary to forgive the power exchange temporarily can later be reviewed. The Dominant can then "judge" whether the sub's behavior was warranted or not, they can discuss the situation, and proper actions can be taken (i.e., discipline or punishment). In addition, these moments can add to the growth of understanding and how best to handle similar situations in the future.

i could say more on this last paragraph but i think the point is made.

anthrosub

_____________________________

"It is easier to fool people than it is to convince them they have been fooled." - Mark Twain

"I am not young enough to know everything." - Oscar Wilde

(in reply to WayHome)

Post #: 5

RE: 24/7 Slaves - 8/6/2004 3:50:51 PM

Erusvi

Posts: 49
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: Los Angeles
Status: offline

Well, you've not received much of the femme domme perspective here, Jada. I'm afraid I'm not going to be much help in that regard, either. I do have some experience in a 24/7 relationship, however, so I'll lend my views on the subject.

My slave and I do things a little differently. We've incorporated daily rituals and protocols into our normal routines. From simple things like respectful address or opening my car door to more elaborate rites like the daily collaring (and the inevitable early morning uncollaring for work); these things serve as constant celebrations of our acknowledged roles.

I will agree with the others here in regard to micromanagement. I couldn't be a control freak if I tried. It's simply too much hassle and I have no desire for the ulcers and all that come with that way of life. In fact, she handles the majority of our scheduling: keeping track of friends and events and whatnot. I handle the finances and major excursions (trips and the like).

Whatever the occasion, whatever the logistics, the final decision lies with me. In this way, I provide the foundation, the rock upon which she dances, providing a beauty and music to our milieu. It's a rewarding dynamic for the both of us. Each fuels the purpose of the other within our relationship.

The danger, I feel, is that of growing lax; slipping slowly into 'vanilla mode'. Neither of us want that kind of relationship, so I take care to keep the reins well in hand. At times, those reins have to be tugged, so that we do not lose focus on who we are and why we are here. Coupled with our daily rituals, this serves to keep the dynamic alive. We've been going strong now for over a year, and plan to stay so for a very long time to come.

This is what works for us. Your results may vary ;o)

I hope that you and everyone else who searches find happiness and fulfillment in this very beautiful world. (and it is, you know)

< Message edited by Erusvi -- 8/6/2004 4:04:21 PM >

_____________________________

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ErusVI
Los Angeles
Owner of dahanala
www.esenem.net
[image]http://www.esenem.net/Gallery/albums/2005_08_Savage/SM_1.thumb.jpg[/image]

(in reply to MistressJada)

Post #: 6

RE: 24/7 Slaves - 8/6/2004 7:33:55 PM

BlackGoddess

Posts: 68
Joined: 2/1/2004
Status: offline

Having a 24/7 slave is a lot of work. In addition to my subby hubby, I'm training one (which isn't working out). hubby works outside the house but everything he does, I know about. he wears his hair and moustache the way I want, the clothes I want, the underwear I like. I've cleaned up his credit and got him in touch with his estranged children and brother.

Having 2 slaves and 2 children makes juggling time a major task but I do it. I think I will prolly dismiss the protégé slave and concentrate My efforts on hubby.

If you can ask a more specific question, I will try My best to answer it.

BlackGoddess aka Queen Janai

_____________________________

Rule #1 - Goddess is Always Right. Rule #2 - When Goddess is Wrong, refer to Rule #1.

(in reply to MistressJada)

Post #: 7

RE: 24/7 Slaves - 8/6/2004 7:41:09 PM

LadyBeckett

Posts: 865
Joined: 2/4/2004
From: Scotland/Tennessee
Status: offline

It is such a pleasure to see you back and posting again! Welcome back!

_____________________________

Lady Beckett

_______________________________________________

"Submissive boys yearn to fall into their proper place, so the rest of their life will." ~ Lady Beckett

(in reply to Erusvi)

Post #: 8

RE: 24/7 Slaves - 8/6/2004 11:32:45 PM

Sundew02

Posts: 457
Joined: 2/6/2004
Status: offline

Aquiring a previously owned slave is a bit, but not a whole lot, less work. Ones that have been owned before do not have the preconceived fantasies that a new one has harbored. I enjoyed it, which is why I am looking for another one. It is an emperitive that you get the slaves definition of 24/7 slave as soon as possible. Some believe that they should be "kept", which is not my idea of slave at all. Some of the best slaves have high powered "dominant" jobs in the vanilla world, which makes for an interesting change in their demeanor when they walk through the door and strip. Sundew

_____________________________

~~~~~Enjoy the ride, the landing could get painful~~~~

(in reply to MistressJada)

Post #: 9

RE: 24/7 Slaves - 1/19/2005 9:14:53 AM

garylee

Posts: 38
Joined: 12/15/2004
From: from? iowa.....
Status: offline

i am but a slave......but i am in a 24/7--365 agreement.
i am my Ma'am's property.
i gave up ALL of my personal power in my life, to choose anything day to day.
She has ALL my money......She controls 100%......
i made that agreement when i begged for Her collar and guidance.

does THIS help You?
reg.#807385
slave to Ms cindy

_____________________________

i see the world, i notice it is turning, as my guitar gently weeps.

(in reply to MistressJada)

Post #: 10

RE: 24/7 Slaves - 1/19/2005 9:38:56 AM

strongnsubmissiv

Posts: 197
Joined: 9/8/2004
Status: offline

Like the others here... i think the term 24/7 is a relative one and defined differently from one person to another. The trick is to find another person that shares in your definition...

For me...

24/7 D/s in a relationship would mean that ultimately, she will always have the final say. We can expect disagreements and perhaps even arguments, but i've chosen to always yield in the end, regardless of my opinion. It could be a simple gesture like a finger snap during a disagreement, which would mean that the issue is dealt with, and i shall respect that. What goes on in our daily lives would basically be dictated by our mutual needs, which doesn't necessarily mean i'll be shuffling around on my knees all day saying yes Mistress and no Mistress.

I guess the trick is finding someone who shares in my idea of 24/7. Someone who would need me, as much as i'd need them.

sns

< Message edited by strongnsubmissiv -- 1/19/2005 9:39:48 AM >

_____________________________

*** Strong and submissive are not contradictions ***

(in reply to garylee)

Post #: 11

RE: 24/7 Slaves - 1/19/2005 9:49:20 AM

Mercnbeth

Posts: 11766
Status: offline

quote:

I notice that a lot of subs are looking to be owned in a 24/7 situation.

Jada,
I want to point out that maybe a lot of submissive's profiles state they are looking to be owned in a 24/7 situation, but reality may be different. I wasn't able to view a profile for you, but finding a submissive with the same definition of 24/7 as yours will reduce your pool of potential candidates. And then there is 'on-line'.

It's difficult to express my feelings and experience living in a 24/7 relationship. We live together. We are VERY happy together, we like being with each other, we enjoy each others company. Living 24/7 in a D/s relationship has been and is fulfilling and satisfying. I was fortunate finding a slave who's definitions and expectations of such a relationship, meshed with mine. Communication, trust, honesty, were our foundation. From a dialog, expectations of behavior were documented, detailed enough to be clear, but broad enough to permit growth and personal enhancement.

On the practical and physical side; I, unfortunately, still have to work, running a business. beth is home. her daily duties are outlined for her, with additions/deletions made by me as appropriate. she has a daily ritual to perform. she does all the household chores. We maintain protocol when outside the home. We have our own ways of maintaining our dynamic outside the home. For instance, beth hasn't ordered a drink or meal for herself in years. But I open doors, carry packages, etc. I have a slave, not a dray mule.

I am beth's Master, she is my slave. Our respect for each other is mutual, living that way 24/7.

(in reply to MistressJada)

Post #: 12

RE: 24/7 Slaves - 1/19/2005 10:40:27 AM

Suleiman

Posts: 1127
Joined: 9/9/2004
Status: offline

This is slightly tangental to the topic at hand, but only a little bit.

I have noticed a strong tendency towards the "wannamate" syndrome in a lot of the people looking for a 24/7 relationship. Wannamates are not nessisarily into BDSM because of any serious driving need for that sort of relationship, per se, but rather because they are searching for a long term relationship that matches certian romantic notions in their head. Having been continually thwarted in the dating scene, they now turn to BDSM, deciding that whether it's a gold ring or a leather collar, a commitment is still a committment.

Please keep in mind that this is not a condemnation of, or snipe at, anybody in particular (aside from the wives of a few of my friends who shall remain nameless). This is simply an observation that I have made, that concurrs with the observations of others within my perticular clique, and which appears to be in agreement with observations made by other online commentators.

I have noticed a tendency towards the wannamate type claiming to be "service oriented" and "not really into heavy pain". They will usually be looking for a VERY specific type of person, yet will seek out nearly anyone that will offer them the prospect of a long term relationship. Again, this is not an accusation of anyone here, this is simply a generic profile based on observation.

The wannamate is not limited to submissives, by the way. Any number of dominants fall into this category as well. Among men, I have found, there are a number of romantic types who desperately wish that the dating rituals of the past century were still in place, with men and women having clearly defined roles in the workplace and the home. The grand banner of BDSM allows them to search for this romantic ideal.

Actually, I have found few truly dominant women who seem to qualify as wannamates, although any number of them have eventually married or otherwise become comitted to their favorite servants. There are a fair number of wannamates among female switches, typically among that percentage of the population who were introduced to BDSM by a previous lover and did not find it objectionable.

While I did snicker at the concept when I was a younger man (and a bachelor), I do not consider the wannamate to be any more or less "real" than anyone else in the scene - they simply have a very specific priority which supercedes all other aspects of the scene. I have also concluded that, fidelitous person that I am, I can easily be accused of being a wannamate myself - I just go that extra distance to prove my worth to a potential spouse.

_____________________________

Think of my verbosity as a sort of litmus test for our relationship. I write in a manner identical to how I speak and how I think. If you can not cope with what I have written here, it is probably for the best if we go our separate ways.

(in reply to MistressJada)

Post #: 13

RE: 24/7 Slaves - 1/19/2005 10:49:47 AM

nella

Posts: 1243
Joined: 12/30/2004
From: Norway
Status: offline

some pepole might even be looking for that, a D/s relationship where they have traditional 1940`s man and wife relationship, can sound rather atractive.

(in reply to Suleiman)

Post #: 14

RE: 24/7 Slaves - 1/19/2005 12:09:30 PM

Mercnbeth

Posts: 11766
Status: offline

quote:

I have noticed a strong tendency towards the "wannamate" syndrome in a lot of the people looking for a 24/7 relationship.

Suli,
First, I think it's great that you point out that this situation is NOT limited to submissives. I think it's just as pervasive on the Dominant side of the equation. However, I'll argue one point with you.

When people post a profile, I'd say when the MAJORITY of people post a profile, they don't have ANY idea what 24/7 entails. You are so right with the romantic or fantasy aspect coming into play. In my search, many submissives asked me if they would live like Beauty from the Anne Rice trilogy. (Ah.....NO - have a nice day!) But how many have first hand real time witness of people living 24/7 in a D/s lifestyle?

In their defense, these people aren't wannabes. They just don't know. As much as some threads try, they won't find out reading about it either. You can learn concepts, you can be made to consider things that didn't occur to you, but you won't KNOW until you try it - REAL TIME - REAL LIFE. Every opportunity to learn should be utilized.

It would be great if those contemplating 24/7 get to sit with couples living that way. Drawing from my catholic roots - I'd suggest a 24/7 "Pre-Canaan" retreat. It would require more then one couple as mentor source because I appreciate that my definition and the life that beth and I share 24/7 is NOT anyone else's definition of 24/7 D/s. To some I may be too demanding a Master, to other's I'm too gentle, and permissive. But in the worst case - at least some dialog, some perspective, and all the real life facets not considered can be brought into the open.

Maybe instead of referring to them as wannabes they would be 'wannatrys'. And that's a good thing. Ultimately their success is in the attempt. A common error is to go away for a weekend experiment as Master/slave and see how it works. Well, it's outside the environment were you'll actually be living, outside the daily and the mundane. A weekend getaway may be great to determine if the physical aspect of the relationship will work, but 24/7 is more NOT sexual/physical then it is sexual/physical.

Wannabe has too many negative connotations for anyone so brave to try. As far as wannamate - almost EVERYBODY wants not to be alone. And if that not being alone can be with someone who completes you physically, emotionally, mentally; it's worth trying. It's very difficult to find one person to fill all those needs, perhaps that's why Poly families work so well - but that's subject for another thread.

GEE- Look at me - Coming to the defense of 'wannabes'!

(in reply to Suleiman)

Post #: 15

RE: 24/7 Slaves - 1/19/2005 12:12:19 PM

BlkTallFullfig

Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Suleiman
This is slightly tangental to the topic at hand, but only a little bit.

I have noticed a strong tendency towards the "wannamate" syndrome in a lot of the people looking for a 24/7 relationship. Wannamates are not nessisarily into BDSM but rather because they are searching for a long term relationship that matches certian romantic notions in their head.

I have noticed a tendency towards the wannamate type claiming to be "service oriented" and "not really into heavy pain". They will usually be looking for a VERY specific type of person, yet will seek out nearly anyone that will offer them the prospect of a long term relationship. Again, this is not an accusation of anyone here, this is simply a generic profile based on observation.

The wannamate is not limited to submissives, by the way. Any number of dominants fall into this category as well. Among men, I have found, there are a number of romantic types who desperately wish that the dating rituals of the past century were still in place, with men and women having clearly defined roles in the workplace and the home. The grand banner of BDSM allows them to search for this romantic ideal.

Actually, I have found few truly dominant women who seem to qualify as wannamates, although any number of them have eventually married or otherwise become comitted to their favorite servants.

I do not consider the wannamate to be any more or less "real" than anyone else in the scene - they simply have a very specific priority which supercedes all other aspects of the scene. I have also concluded that, fidelitous person that I am, I can easily be accused of being a wannamate myself - I just go that extra distance to prove my worth to a potential spouse.

Dear Suleiman,
I want to follow this tangential notion...
I'm always asking examining myself for purity of motive, and am fairly certain I want a completely non-standard relationship which doesn't fall withing any tradition I know of, but even so, to play the devils advocate for a moment, what is wrong with "the wannamate and his notion (not fitting into dating scene) of wanting some particular type of relationship.

You make wanting a mate sound so superfluous, shallow and desperate; and I have to ask, doesn't anyone seeking any type of relationship want a mate? after all, even for kinksters, aren't there machines and toys to do just about what anyone wants/needs done? Who exactly does belong in BDSM? Is it only the people who want to play with different people, have multiple partners, swing, extreme bondage/torture, not have any intercourse at all, dress as the opposite sex, exhibit/watch, wear leather, etc, etc? What makes one a pure kinkster? What makes it okay to be here and to feel one belongs? What's the test?

Just wondering, and don't get it sometimes. M

(in reply to Suleiman)

Post #: 16

RE: 24/7 Slaves - 1/19/2005 12:20:17 PM

BlkTallFullfig

Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline

Now, to MistressJada,
I don't have 24/7 experience to tell you of, as I imagine it's different from couple to couple, but I imagine mine will be a lot like Perverseangelic states her relationship is. M

(in reply to MistressJada)

Post #: 17

RE: 24/7 Slaves - 1/19/2005 12:58:15 PM

IndustrialPet

Posts: 5
Joined: 1/18/2005
Status: offline

i am a 24/7 slave and must say i love it! i don't have an outside job as my Sir provides well for both of us. We are lucky however in that he owns his own business so we are never apart. i stay home during the day(while he works just up in the front of our warehouse,always within walking distance) and make sure all the household duties are taken care of. this includes vacuuming,dusting,dishes,folding laundry(i never do the actual laundry as i have a tendency to miss a red sock in a load of whites ooopps!)and all the other assorted household tasks that i imagine June Cleaver did. I am kept collared and cuffed while at home and quite frequently in public depending on how many nasty looks Sir feels like returning

If he has a bad day i offer myself to him. Sometimes he puts me in my spanking box or on my whipping post to take out his frustrations but most of the time it is just simple things like rubbing his head,neck and shoulders etc. If company is over i am collared and cuffed and depending on whether or not i am allowed to speak gagged. i serve him first and i always eat last. if he wants to offer my services(whether sexual or otherwise) to another it is not my choice,yet i must stress that i have every freedom i could possibly want! if i am good i get rewarded if i am bad i get punished. sometimes i am told what to eat and how much but most times he allows me to choose. i never actively strove to have the lifestyle i do,i am just one of the few people in the world who truly got lucky and found everything i was looking for and some things i never knew existed!

(in reply to BlkTallFullfig)

Post #: 18

RE: 24/7 Slaves - 1/19/2005 1:57:12 PM

wyngedbyste

Posts: 23
Joined: 11/12/2004
Status: offline

I have owned a male slave for six years and we have lived a D/s life 24/7 from the very beginning. For us, the biggest issue has been mismatched expectations. We care for one another a great deal. He will be mine for his lifetime. However, my slave has trouble maintaining a Mistress/slave relationship. He slips into "husband" think and then we have to help him get back to his place. He agrees he wants to be my slave, but societal programming keeps getting in the way.

For us, I have all the power in the relationship. He works because I need him to work. He recently changed jobs because I felt he should. We live where we live and do what we do because I wish it. I handle all of the money in the relationship. I do not micromanage, yet I have the power to do so if I wished.

We live a life just like everyone else. There are pets to go to the vet and bills and lawns to mow. I allow my slave free speech, but I have the power to revoke that privilege. About the only right he has is to breath and to ask for release. And even then, I have the power to refuse.

So, my definition of "24/7" is having the power 24/7, not whether I actually exercise that power or not.

Byste

(in reply to MistressJada)

Post #: 19

RE: 24/7 Slaves - 1/19/2005 11:12:15 PM

garylee

Posts: 38
Joined: 12/15/2004
From: from? iowa.....
Status: offline

wyngedbyste;

well said.....well presented.....it is the essence of my submission to my Mistress.
thank You
garylee/owned by Ms Cindy
24/7--365

_____________________________

i see the world, i notice it is turning, as my guitar gently weeps.

(in reply to wyngedbyste)

Post #: 20

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