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RE: Is owning bidirectional? - 11/9/2008 5:35:45 PM

marie2

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quote:

ORIGINAL: celticlord2112

The slave may be at one end of my lead, but my hand is always grasping the other. If I let go the lead, I lose my slave; thus I am bound to her just as she is bound to me.

Regardless of the bond, it binds both or neither. There is no third option.

This struck me as rather poignant and what I would consider to be ideal. However there is sometimes a third option, one that I don't consider to be fully functional and healthy, but sometimes a slave is bound to a master who truly is "detached" emotionally.

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RE: Is owning bidirectional? - 11/9/2008 7:05:38 PM

DesFIP

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From: Apple County NY
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He is as committed to me as I am to him. He is as emotionally invested in this relationship as I am. We are both very much in love.

Without it going both ways, I wouldn't be here. I won't be the only one taking those risks.

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RE: Is owning bidirectional? - 11/9/2008 8:55:01 PM

celticlord2112

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quote:

but sometimes a slave is bound to a master who truly is "detached" emotionally.

A master (or a slave) can be emotionally "detached" and still be bound one to the other--otherwise, what holds the slave to the master (and vice versa)?

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RE: Is owning bidirectional? - 11/9/2008 9:25:22 PM

marie2

Posts: 1690
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quote:

ORIGINAL: celticlord2112

quote:

but sometimes a slave is bound to a master who truly is "detached" emotionally.

A master (or a slave) can be emotionally "detached" and still be bound one to the other--otherwise, what holds the slave to the master (and vice versa)?

I can't wrap my head around it. I have no clue what 'binds' people who aren't emotionally involved with one another. Kinky sex? Ego boost? Who knows.

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Post #: 24

RE: Is owning bidirectional? - 11/9/2008 9:28:19 PM

Aileen1968

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Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
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quote:

ORIGINAL: marie2

quote:

ORIGINAL: celticlord2112

quote:

but sometimes a slave is bound to a master who truly is "detached" emotionally.

A master (or a slave) can be emotionally "detached" and still be bound one to the other--otherwise, what holds the slave to the master (and vice versa)?

I can't wrap my head around it. I have no clue what 'binds' people who aren't emotionally involved with one another. Kinky sex? Ego boost? Who knows.

I think those kinds of relationships crash and burn eventually. Emotions don't have to be the love kinds of emotions, but there does need to be some kind of mental connection for a relationship to flourish. My opinion of course

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RE: Is owning bidirectional? - 11/10/2008 8:16:52 AM

sailorfrank

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So true "Love" may come later on but the first thing that is important is both partys..."Needs" are met in the beginning.
We get along as we both have the same common "needs"...maybe this kink BDSM maybe something else? Its different for others.

Then comes trust between Master/slave, and ownership gets muddled up as feelings increase. But I am still the Master but she does own a special part of me now and I have no regrets in it at all. Enjoy what you find out there people it is a special gift to be shared between two people!

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RE: Is owning bidirectional? - 11/12/2008 2:36:40 AM

Focus50

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Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Hathalud

Hey guys, I'm contemplating making a change in my preferences from being a more subbish switch to a more domly switch, seeing as how I just have this unshakable belief that the right woman to dom me is statistically impossible to find. *chuckles* The cures of being too intelligent and logical at times. Also, it's the direction I've always had to lean, not neccassarily wanted to lean.

So in considering my needs that I consider subbish I've taken into the following considerations:
Personality.
The need to serve and please.
The need to feel owned and possessed.

My personality is deffinately that of an alpha male. I naturally lead others and can easily dominate anything when I so choose. I can get my need to serve and please addressed via spiritual servitude and by pleasing my subs since taking care of there needs is ineffect pleasing them.

It's the need to feel owned that I'm grappling with. Hence I come to you. Do you guys feel as if your subs own you as much as you own them? I mean, I know it's a partnership and they wouldn't be with you if you didn't please them in some fashion, but do you feel bonded to them? Like neither of you want to leave the other's side? More importantly, do you feel as if you have a purpose that is directly linked to their presence in your life?

I hope this makes sense. Thanks for any responses in advance.

"Ownership" is a control dynamic and is not reciprocal. On the other hand, *committment* IS.

Since my relationships are monogamous and function within an ownership or control dynamic, the fact that I "own" my girl exclusively implies by default that she "owns" me exclusively as her Master, too!

The key word is "implies" because I'll kick her arse (and not in a good way) if she actually says as much in front of a third person, including another lifestyler. lol She's free to refer to me in a context of "Sir/Master does this or that..." etc, but never "my Sir/Master does this or that...", for eg. Just one of MY peculiarities in reinforcing who owns whom, despite a mutual committment to each other.

Focus.

< Message edited by Focus50 -- 11/12/2008 2:38:32 AM >

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RE: Is owning bidirectional? - 11/12/2008 10:33:39 AM

NessunDorma

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I think it really depends on the particular relationship, and what you mean by 'owning.'

At the bare 'minimum' there's the physical claim the sub has on the Dom--if the Dom did not physically desire the sub, they would not be together in any sense. Then there's the emotional claim, distinct from the physical, where any feelings the Dom has for the sub are, in some sense, a claim the sub has on the Dom. Then there's the functioning of the relationship itself--a Dom may lust after the sub, and be in love with the sub, but they doesn't not necessarily translate to traditional fidelity. Or, there may be fidelity, but it is not taken as something over and above the relationship itself--the Dom may own or play with others, but chooses not to, and may change his or her mind.

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RE: Is owning bidirectional? - 11/13/2008 1:58:16 AM

masterforRT

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No.

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Post #: 29