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How do we decide what we think of someone - 11/9/2008 2:31:50 PM   
colouredin


Posts: 4279
Joined: 2/2/2007
Status: offline 		Now this is something that i have been sparked to think about due to a lot of the things discussed in this forum and things going on in the world. For example the American election and the equality thread and some things in my relationships.

We have lots of labels applied to us, some due to biology, woman, daughter, some applied byb other people smart, pretty and some we apply to ourself submissive, honest. I was thinking which labeles do we take to mean the most and do we have to prove them.

There are some people who think the label Dominant means that you have to hold that person in high regard, the label righ wing some of us see as bad. But how much do these labels colour our perception. I realised that I dont care what a person defines themselves as on these boards, i dont look to see if someone is submissive or Dominant, black or white, straight or gay. I read what they say and base my opinion on that. If i agree with someone one day I may not the next. I dont think thats true for everyone, some people seem hold certain people in higher regard maybe because they write longer posts or have a higher post count (i notced today people with post counts like mine that I have never seen on the main boards) A comment often thrown out there is 'well hes new, this is his first post'

What I was wondering was to what extent do we have to proove ourselves, is there something that inherantly makes us respect a person more that isnt what they actually say? People talk about how annoying it is when someone cant spell, does that mean what they have to say is less worth while?

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RE: How do we decide what we think of someone - 11/9/2008 2:34:33 PM   
NorthernGent


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quote:

ORIGINAL: colouredin

What I was wondering was to what extent do we have to proove ourselves



Depends whether or not you think you have something to prove.

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RE: How do we decide what we think of someone - 11/9/2008 2:36:04 PM   
colouredin


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Status: offline 		I mean really from the other side of the coin, I dont think we need to prove ourselves to ourselves, i meant more how we want others to prove themselevs to us, sorry didnt wirte it well im  a bit tipsy

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RE: How do we decide what we think of someone - 11/9/2008 2:40:39 PM   
SL4V3M4YB3


Posts: 3506
Joined: 12/20/2007
From: S.E. London U.K.
Status: offline 		Most people don't respond to me if they've heard my views on Guns, Abortion, Religion, etc. they know it is like talking to a brick wall.

People with the one post do get a hard time but I don't know much about that because I always posting in Polls and Random Stupidity and so always come to an actual debate with more than one post. I have seen first post posters ignored more often than not. I think though people choose those they like to argue with, you see the same people going at one another quite often. For people with one post it is hard to understand and gauge their views on issues until they have posted more and I think that is mostly why they don't get much interaction. 


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RE: How do we decide what we think of someone - 11/9/2008 2:42:20 PM   
colouredin


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Joined: 2/2/2007
Status: offline 		but why does their views on other issues matter, i mean if you give good advice or ask agood question with your first post why does it matter what you think about other stuff

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RE: How do we decide what we think of someone - 11/9/2008 2:43:09 PM   
NorthernGent


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quote:

ORIGINAL: colouredin

I mean really from the other side of the coin, I dont think we need to prove ourselves to ourselves, i meant more how we want others to prove themselevs to us, sorry didnt wirte it well im  a bit tipsy



On a message board? Nobody owes me a single thing.

A bit tipsy eh......when does the dancing start? and will there be any fucking and fighting?.......do tell.

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Sooner or later, the man who wins is the man who thinks he can.

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RE: How do we decide what we think of someone - 11/9/2008 2:44:08 PM   
colouredin


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Joined: 2/2/2007
Status: offline 		no i mean in life, i was using the messgae board as an example

ive been doing kareokee tonight, i rock when ive drunk enough to not hear my own voice :P

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Resident Lime(y) Tart
There would be no gossip without secrets
I don't want to be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ELvfMJoKDAk

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RE: How do we decide what we think of someone - 11/9/2008 2:49:46 PM   
SL4V3M4YB3


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quote:

ORIGINAL: colouredin
but why does their views on other issues matter, i mean if you give good advice or ask agood question with your first post why does it matter what you think about other stuff


Well I wasn't really talking about the advice giving threads in other sections. I tend not to give people advice or seek advice, it's just not what I do here. When I read some of the questions asked there I think sometimes they are not really asking a question but asking for validation of their own situation and they will never get that here I doubt because the views are too diverse.

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RE: How do we decide what we think of someone - 11/9/2008 2:50:55 PM   
Paulfromhull


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Joined: 11/4/2007
Status: offline 		i believe labels are only ther so we have some idea of what is behind the label. EG if a jar says "poison" then we dont drink it, althought there are always those amongst us who pay no regard to labels and would drink it.  Whilst we might no like labels especially when it may pre define who we are, we have to have some sort of starting point; and the brighter ones amongst us will then deside if the label is a correct guideline or toatally inacurate - so im sorry if you think labels are offencive or unnessasary, but they are hear to stay and i believe they are for the good.
Having said that, ive just recieve a random mail from a persond labelled a "dom"; their opening line to me was "hello master, how can i serve you" - so labels are a guideline not a true fact.
peace XX
Paul

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RE: How do we decide what we think of someone - 11/9/2008 2:51:35 PM   
NorthernGent


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quote:

ORIGINAL: colouredin

no i mean in life, i was using the messgae board as an example



Well, I suppose you have to prove you mean what you say.

quote:

ORIGINAL: colouredin

ive been doing kareokee tonight, i rock when ive drunk enough to not hear my own voice :P



Any chance you can send me a Colouredin greatest hits compilation?

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Sooner or later, the man who wins is the man who thinks he can.

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RE: How do we decide what we think of someone - 11/9/2008 2:52:48 PM   
colouredin


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Joined: 2/2/2007
Status: offline 		haha, ill sort that out for you, do you by any chance enjoy the sound of cats making love?

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Resident Lime(y) Tart
There would be no gossip without secrets
I don't want to be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ELvfMJoKDAk

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RE: How do we decide what we think of someone - 11/9/2008 2:53:58 PM   
NorthernGent


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quote:

ORIGINAL: colouredin

haha, ill sort that out for you, do you by any chance enjoy the sound of cats making love?



Enjoy it????? I actively seek it out!

_____________________________

I have the courage to be a coward - but not beyond my limits.

Sooner or later, the man who wins is the man who thinks he can.

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Profile   Post #: 12
RE: How do we decide what we think of someone - 11/9/2008 2:53:58 PM   
celticlord2112


Posts: 5732
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quote:

I was thinking which labeles do we take to mean the most

Personally, I have no use for labels.  I look at people as just that....people.  My regard for a person comes from how their deeds reconcile with their words, and how both words and deeds reconcile with my notions of right and wrong.

Slave, submissive, right wing, left wing, Democrat, Republican, man, woman.....all of them merely words.


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RE: How do we decide what we think of someone - 11/9/2008 2:55:46 PM   
colouredin


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Joined: 2/2/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: NorthernGent

quote:

ORIGINAL: colouredin

haha, ill sort that out for you, do you by any chance enjoy the sound of cats making love?



Enjoy it????? I actively seek it out!


lol wow, i think you may be my soul mate :P

_____________________________

Resident Lime(y) Tart
There would be no gossip without secrets
I don't want to be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ELvfMJoKDAk

(in reply to NorthernGent)
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RE: How do we decide what we think of someone - 11/9/2008 2:58:30 PM   
theobserver


Posts: 456
Joined: 8/18/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: NorthernGent

quote:

ORIGINAL: colouredin

I mean really from the other side of the coin, I dont think we need to prove ourselves to ourselves, i meant more how we want others to prove themselevs to us, sorry didnt wirte it well im  a bit tipsy



On a message board? Nobody owes me a single thing.

A bit tipsy eh......when does the dancing start? and will there be any fucking and fighting?.......do tell.


Haha ... me too! Is that bad at 3pm in the afternoon? Damn and I have to work too. Luckily I have a alcohol encouraged job.

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RE: How do we decide what we think of someone - 11/9/2008 3:01:53 PM   
VampiresLair


Posts: 1307
Joined: 9/3/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: colouredin
What I was wondering was to what extent do we have to prove ourselves, is there something that inherently makes us respect a person more that isnt what they actually say?

For me, at least, there is nothing that makes me respect someone that they have not learned. Everyone has to prove themselves to me, no matter what title they are toting. I no more blindly accept dominant than I do trustworthy. I might even be moved to question male or female on occasion, though that tends to be easier to prove. Anyone can call themselves anything they please, but that doesnt mean that is how I am going to percieve them. I have known self proclaimed submissives I would consider dominant in their relationships, and self proclaimed trustworthy and loyal people devoting themselves to multiple people...
Labels are how someone percieves themselves, and are an indicator of what sort of behavior and personality to expect. They are not, however, a gaurantee on how I will see thm and I do not make that decision until I see them in action.



quote:

People talk about how annoying it is when someone cant spell, does that mean what they have to say is less worth while?

No, but it does tend to mean they are too lazy to put the extra effort into spellchecking what it is they have to say.  The subject of your conversation gets lost easily if your method of delivery is bad. If I were speaking to someone who did not speak English as their native tongue and I used big obscure words to make my points, I would not be communicating well. The same problem is with poor spellers who do not make the effort to correct it. It isnt that what they have to say is of no value, but it can get to the point where we arent sure what it is they are trying to say because we have to interpret the words.

DV


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RE: How do we decide what we think of someone - 11/9/2008 3:06:38 PM   
theobserver


Posts: 456
Joined: 8/18/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: colouredin

Now this is something that i have been sparked to think about due to a lot of the things discussed in this forum and things going on in the world. For example the American election and the equality thread and some things in my relationships.

We have lots of labels applied to us, some due to biology, woman, daughter, some applied byb other people smart, pretty and some we apply to ourself submissive, honest. I was thinking which labeles do we take to mean the most and do we have to prove them.

There are some people who think the label Dominant means that you have to hold that person in high regard, the label righ wing some of us see as bad. But how much do these labels colour our perception. I realised that I dont care what a person defines themselves as on these boards, i dont look to see if someone is submissive or Dominant, black or white, straight or gay. I read what they say and base my opinion on that. If i agree with someone one day I may not the next. I dont think thats true for everyone, some people seem hold certain people in higher regard maybe because they write longer posts or have a higher post count (i notced today people with post counts like mine that I have never seen on the main boards) A comment often thrown out there is 'well hes new, this is his first post'

What I was wondering was to what extent do we have to proove ourselves, is there something that inherantly makes us respect a person more that isnt what they actually say? People talk about how annoying it is when someone cant spell, does that mean what they have to say is less worth while?


I've said many times that I try not to judge people right away ... or try not to judge them at all, but that in actuality that is not the case.

Ideas creep into my mind about who I think that person to be, based off the things they write, but that's not the whole of the person. We really don't know the full extent of who anyone is, until we actually spend more time getting to know them; then see them interact in other situations, around other people and in different environments.

Some will like you and others won't. I don't think it's about proving but more what attracts each individual to certain personalities. Does that make sense?

edited: damn I'm in typo hell today


< Message edited by theobserver -- 11/9/2008 3:07:56 PM >

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RE: How do we decide what we think of someone - 11/9/2008 3:09:35 PM   
NorthernGent


Posts: 8730
Joined: 7/10/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: colouredin

quote:

ORIGINAL: NorthernGent

quote:

ORIGINAL: colouredin

haha, ill sort that out for you, do you by any chance enjoy the sound of cats making love?



Enjoy it????? I actively seek it out!


lol wow, i think you may be my soul mate :P


Give me a knock next time you're up this way, and we'll knock together a duet.

_____________________________

I have the courage to be a coward - but not beyond my limits.

Sooner or later, the man who wins is the man who thinks he can.

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RE: How do we decide what we think of someone - 11/9/2008 3:24:20 PM   
slvemike4u


Posts: 17896
Joined: 1/15/2008
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: celticlord2112

quote:

I was thinking which labeles do we take to mean the most

Personally, I have no use for labels.  I look at people as just that....people.  My regard for a person comes from how their deeds reconcile with their words, and how both words and deeds reconcile with my notions of right and wrong.

Slave, submissive, right wing, left wing, Democrat, Republican, man, woman.....all of them merely words.

And yet god forbid a man should express a preference for clam chowder made correctly ...?

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RE: How do we decide what we think of someone - 11/9/2008 3:30:36 PM   
scarlethiney


Posts: 492
Joined: 8/22/2008
Status: offline 		I don't think I have to prove anything to any one that truly matters. Those people love me for who and what I am. The rest does not matter in the least.
I believe we are all too multifaceted as individuals to be defined by a few labels.
Certainly, if we're talking about posts some people choose to answer in a manner that for the rest of us defines them as approachable or unapproachable, tolerant or intolerant. Many expect an ass chewing from some and kindness and understanding from others.
I think I respect consistency and tolerance.  It's easy to spew sarcasm. It requires more thought to be kind and helpful in my opinion.
I am  also not going to judge you based on grammar or spelling. Intelligence is also multifaceted and certainly not qualified by any one thing or area. What one person finds appealing can be different for another person.

Individuality, kindness, a sense of humor and strength are qualities I admire.

scarlet



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"The words 'I am...' are potent words; be careful what you hitch them to. The thing you're claiming has a way of reaching back and claiming you." - A.L. Kitselman.


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