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MaamJay -> RE: How far to take protocol/rules within a BDSM club (11/15/2008 12:18:15 AM)
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When We ran parties, We made sure there were seats in the play area precisely for "subby grounding" time. The DMs did have to shoo onlookers from them at times, though most would vacate the seat as soon as they saw a D and s making their way over. We had spare blankets if the D didn't have one for the sub, though in Our workshop for subs, We suggested they have their own as the #1 item in their toybag! The play area was carpeted and the space was large so the floor was an OK alternative if the sub couldn't be moved or lifted to a seat (scooping me up in His arms just isn't an option for Master LOL!). However, obviously the D would try to locate the s on a piece of floor that was as unobtrusive as possible if that was what was necessary. We had a double mattress on the floor in one area so those wanting to do floor work (eg hogties) could do so in more comfort, and moving the sub over to that would have been fine if it wasn't being used. The only food or drink allowed into the play area was water for subs. As host, I would have been appalled if one of the DMs (or indeed, any of the attendees, D or s) showed more concern for the furniture than for the person. The next players have the choice of waiting, cleaning things themselves (sterilising fluids, paper towels and bins were near every set of equipment) or asking a DM to do so if they are unsure of what to do. I would say Miss High and Mighty was one of those who is corrupted by a little bit of power and out of line for that. And it might be a good idea to politely express concern to the party hosts.
Re laughing ... I would see a difference between someone laughing loudly aside from a scene eg at a joke, or in conversation with someone whilst still being in the play area, and someone laughing loudly in scene. The former I would steer politely to the social areas (supper table, kitchen, outdoor area) so they didn't disturb players. I could hardly get stroppy with the latter type ... as my sub side always goes through giggle space on the way to subspace!
There were occasions when a D had just about emptied their entire toy bag and really wanted to clear up themselves and put everything away properly. In that case, as host/DM I have been asked (or have offered) to sit with their subby and make sure they are OK while the D clears up and then returns. I always regarded that as a privilege, not a burden. Really, running a party isn't rocket science ... but it does require a healthy dose of common sense and the ability to assess a situation and help in the best way possible!
Maam Jay aka violet[A]
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