RE: switched prejudice

RE: switched prejudice (Full Version)

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SthrnCom4t -> RE: switched prejudice (11/14/2008 10:06:04 AM)
My two cents on being a Switch - I've not run across a prejudiced at all. Probably due to the fact that there are VERY few who inspire my submissive side, and those that do, who find me attractive, love the idea that I am most often perceived as a strong personality. They recognize my submission as coming from a place of great strength.....which also comes with a shelf-life. Further explanation below... My personal evolution started in the submissive realm and through several relationships has found its way into Dominance. I consider myself an 80%-20%, Domme/sub. While I enjoy the permissions associated with being submissive (allowing someone else to make some decisions, being valued for my willingness and desire to please, being given a safe environment to receive intense sensations which clears my mind of mental cobwebs) it does not necessarily get me off sexually, nor does my independent personality welcome being told what to do in most things. However, taking on the role of Domme was at first quite a challenge. I like strong, confident and protective men. Especially when they are smart, self-starters who are loving with a great sense of humor. Depending on the perspective you choose, interacting with someone with more experience could be either comforting or intimidating. I've been fortunate enough (or perhaps I just chose wisely) with the partners of my past, because now I embrace my inner Sadista and revel in the opportunity to express my Dominance. Switching for me does not happen within a scene, nor with the same partner. This has pushed me to explore and embrace the fact that I am also polyamorous. For the very limited time I spend with my Dominant Partner, I aspire to be the best paramour possible. I draw on experiences that have been especially fulfilling to myself as a Domme, and replicate/explore these submissive characteristics. I also pay very close attention to the attributes of He who I would serve, and incorporate those into my own Dominance. Understanding both sides gives me insight into both self-understanding, and giving my partners that part of me which most fulfills them. The majority of my life, and that which includes interaction with my romantically involved and primary partner involves a connection on all levels. He embodies all the characteristics I listed above (strong, confident, intelligent, etc), but he also has the added bonus of turning to complete and utter mush when I bite his neck or tweak a nipple. His reactions stir a deep, primal, predatory response, that unleashes the Sadista/Lioness within. There's a reason why life allows us to choose from many flavors.........cause some of us are just greedy and find love, joy and enlightenment in many different ways. Sthrn Honorably served by OttersSwim

Hathalud -> RE: switched prejudice (11/14/2008 3:54:40 PM)
A lovely post there Sthrn. [;)]

Tandor -> RE: switched prejudice (12/28/2008 5:56:38 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CallaFirestormBW quote: ORIGINAL: OttersSwim So let's warp this even more...does our community perceive it more acceptable for a woman to be a switch than a man? If so...then why? I believe the answer is "Yes"... If you agree that the answer is Yes...then what does that imply about the overall perception of the traditional roles of women and men in the BDSM community? A couple of ways of looking at that and it will be interesting and telling to see folk's thoughts. [:)] Before I walk down this landmine-infested road, I want to say that there are some cultural/community generalizations here, showing -trends- that I've noticed within the community, and that I -recognize-, completely, that many very outspoken members of the community who participate in this venue do not fit these generalizations... but there is a significant portion of the community not fully represented by those who speak out often in this venue, and the generalizations -do- mesh with my experiences in 25 years of interaction with the 'community-at-large'. I find that the "community-at-large" still has issues with males in -any- role that isn't strictly dominant, EXCEPT for the gay male portion of the community, which is, in my experience, substantially more flexible, but also not nearly as represented in the 'community-at-large' as they are in their own more insular sub-groupings. Submissive males are essentially dismissed by both many d-type males -and- many s-type females, and switches have to deal with vacillating acceptance that rises when they 'accept' their place as dominants, and sinks into the very bottom of the toilet when they express their submission. In general, though, female dominants still get a lot of short shrift in the current community of WIITWD as well, though with an exception in the lesbian subgroup, which has many of the same features of being less well represented and less involved in the mainstream community as the gay male population expressing WIITWD. Again, they're often dismissed by a significant portion of the male d-types -and- many of the female s-types as well. In addition, female switches are encouraged to "pick one or the other"... and subtly manipulated into choosing the 's' side by not only the community of WIITWD, but by the general community as well, who still, even in the 21st century, have this ingrained concept that subtly expresses that women -really- should be under a man's scrutiny and control, and shouldn't 'exceed' herself. A well reasoned, well thought out reply IMHO. Thanks CF Tandor

devotedinSD -> RE: switched prejudice (12/28/2008 6:46:17 PM)
When I comes down to it, respecting your experience is one thing but the fact you are a switch would keep me from being able to completely let go. The fact that maybe that's not right or that it "should" be different doesn't change it. I don't even want to deal with the remotest possibility of my Master needing me to dominate him ever. It really does not have much to with being prejudiced, I am in fact not judging at all what switches do but I know what works for me and what doesn't. I don't have a problem understanding bisexuality either.

BondageBarbieX -> RE: switched prejudice (12/28/2008 8:12:00 PM)
I do not talk to switches as a rule and just do not deal with them in general.It is just a personal preference because I believe there are only Dominants or submissives.Switches are confused,but that's just my opinion.

JustDarkness -> RE: switched prejudice (12/29/2008 1:28:40 AM)
I let peopel always do what they like/prefer. Everyone should be happy. And I see no reason to not talk to them. But for the lifestyle...I always thought switches were lost vanilla's who like leather and whips.

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