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can't something be done about this? - 12/20/2005 7:41:24 AM   
needanowner


Posts: 1
Joined: 8/8/2005
Status: offline 		i have just had a week of conversation with someone, exchanged phone numbers and pictures and was considering meeting with this person when he told me that he lied about everything and he's married. Before this, he told me that he's never been married, wants a 24/7 relationship, etc. i wanted to report him, but his email to me here does not violate any of the options they give you to report someone. Isn't there a way to report people like this so they don't waste someone else's time and energy? People are so puzzled at the fact that i can't trust anyone. Gee, i wonder why? LOL!
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RE: can't something be done about this? - 12/20/2005 8:00:48 AM   
siamsa24


Posts: 2426
Joined: 2/2/2004
Status: offline 		This may seem over-the-top, but I assume that everyone I talk to is married until they prove otherwise. I also assume that they are only in it to get laid and that they want to use me for their next personal-pleasuring session. Maybe that's not the best way to be, but it usually works.

(in reply to needanowner)
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RE: can't something be done about this? - 12/20/2005 8:06:26 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Can something be done about what? You not having good enough judgement?

That COULD be one spin on things.

People lie. People in bdsm are just like everyone else. Sorry you got swindled. Next time you'll know better. Pretty lucky that he actually came out and told you after a week.

And if you haven't, get offline and start meeting people in the scene locally. People lie there too, but it's harder to maintain.

(in reply to needanowner)
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RE: can't something be done about this? - 12/20/2005 9:21:57 AM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline
quote:

i have just had a week of conversation with someone, exchanged phone numbers and pictures and was considering meeting with this person when he told me that he lied about everything and he's married. Before this, he told me that he's never been married, wants a 24/7 relationship, etc. i wanted to report him, but his email to me here does not violate any of the options they give you to report someone. Isn't there a way to report people like this so they don't waste someone else's time and energy? People are so puzzled at the fact that i can't trust anyone. Gee, i wonder why? LOL!


Want to know what you can do about it? Don't accept the rationalization of those who enable married, or those in committed relationships, who come to sites like CM "accepting" that some people MUST lie. They MUST lie, because their partner doesn't "fulfill their needs" in a certain aspect of their lives.

As long as "accepting" is defined as accepting frauds and liars they will continue to be in a position to hurt legitimate, honest, sincere, people like you. It doesn't matter that they are "honest" with their partner or not. At some point, at some level, someone wrapped in this dishonest will be hurt. It could be you if you decide to go for the physical sensation with some self proclaimed "misunderstood", fully disclosed married individual. What happens if it develops into something more for you?

There ARE some absolutes. If someone is too much of a coward and lacks the self confidence to separate him/herself from a relationship with someone else, they don't come with the necessary personality traits and character to be the person you seek.

Of course taking the attitude that siamsa suggests was the one I used during my search. I didn't trust anything about anyone I met. Expect that everyone you meet is; "just out to get laid" and you'll never be disappointed. By the way, that applies to either sex.

(in reply to needanowner)
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RE: can't something be done about this? - 12/20/2005 1:30:47 PM   
slavejali


Posts: 2918
Status: offline 		There are sites on the internet where you can do a background check on someone for 30 bux, they show marriages, divorces and stuff like that. Might save a lot of heartache..and you may not even have to spend the 30 dollars, once you tell someone you want to do a background check on them, if they are lying about anything, im sure they will vanish into thin air really quickly *grin*.
i dont think having a "this person is a liar" section of the website would work, purely cuz it could be used unfairly.

(in reply to Mercnbeth)
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RE: can't something be done about this? - 12/20/2005 1:35:35 PM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		Nope, no way to report anyone for time wasting and gaming and goofing, there is no computer system in the world that would hold pointers that big.

It's the net, don't sweat.

It is a learning experience, you now have more tools to discern with.

Ron

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to needanowner)
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RE: can't something be done about this? - 12/20/2005 2:24:54 PM   
windchymes


Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline 		Only a week? Thank your lucky stars this one had a smidgen of conscience and told you after a week. Thousands of people carry out charades online for months and years.

Sure, you can report them. And then tomorrow, they'll have a new id and email address.

No, nothing can be done about it. Just step around the potholes and move on.

chymes

(in reply to needanowner)
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RE: can't something be done about this? - 12/20/2005 2:30:52 PM   
petwolf22


Posts: 343
Joined: 9/5/2005
Status: offline 		im a dancer and run into the married men pretty much nightly who try all kinds of crap. It's sad, its pathetic, but there's little you can do but move on.

(in reply to windchymes)
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RE: can't something be done about this? - 12/21/2005 9:58:34 AM   
candystripper


Posts: 3486
Joined: 11/1/2005
Status: offline 		Next time get His home (landline) phone number as well as His office & cell; and call Him in the evening some night; the rest of the time ask Him to call you in the evenings...and ask more than once "are You married?" Some are startled into being truthful.

Assuming every Man is married is a bit extreme; not every Man here is a gamer. However, it does not pay to be naieve and pacified with silly excuses.

candystripper

(in reply to petwolf22)
Profile   Post #: 9
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