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RE: Guidelines for finding a mistress? - 12/22/2005 9:03:13 PM   
veronicaofML


Posts: 1317
Joined: 11/19/2005
From: from iowa..now in wisconsin
Status: offline 		Perhaps you're simply an original, veronica!
=========

now youi are worrying me...

is this a good thing or a bad thing????????????/

hmmmmm

any who way.

i understand what is being said better now.
take care
best wishes
holiday wishes to You


_____________________________

drugs sex and rock n roll,...drugs are good and so is the rock n roll, sex is over rated"
=============
"go straight to hell, do not pass go and do not collect $200"



(in reply to MadameDahlia)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Guidelines for finding a mistress? - 12/23/2005 12:31:32 AM   
MsIce


Posts: 59
Joined: 3/31/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MadameDahlia

Oh, one more for now... Don't tell a woman you'll relocate in your first... second... or even third email - (unless she asks!!).

It's kind of creepy.



I couldnt agree more - it really makes me shake my head in wonder when an email is sent by a stranger stating that the submissive person will relocate, and they even immediately put pressure on for acceptance of their offer... I agree it is creepy

(in reply to MadameDahlia)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Guidelines for finding a mistress? - 12/23/2005 3:10:04 PM   
addcted2it


Posts: 78
Joined: 10/28/2004
From: Sonoma County, California, USA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MHOO314

veronica makes again a very valid and strong point about relocation---I see it in so many profiles, yet when it gets to brass tacks, thouhgt has not been give at all to the ramifications of moving and uprooting--and I wil tell you if I get to that point with someone, I'm looking for a background check--


I usually do not bring up the relocation issue, but it if I list it in my personal profile and someone approaches me, it should be OK to mention it.

If I happen to write to someone, I make sure that they also mention the relocation issue in their profile BEFORE bringing it up.

- addicted2it


_____________________________

Submission is not an excuse to abuse.
Life is short! Live it to the fullest!

(in reply to MHOO314)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Guidelines for finding a mistress? - 12/23/2005 3:14:00 PM   
michaelGA


Posts: 1194
Status: offline 		that's like going up to a total stranger and saying "I love you, let's get married" wierd

(in reply to MsIce)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Guidelines for finding a mistress? - 12/24/2005 11:17:28 AM   
TexasMaam


Posts: 1467
Joined: 6/22/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: EasyE

I was just wondering if any mistresses had any sugestions for male subs contacting and finding you. Of course the obvious is to read the profile but there must be so much more....


1. Persevere.
2. Persevere.
3. Persevere.

TexasMaam

(in reply to EasyE)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Guidelines for finding a mistress? - 12/24/2005 3:03:14 PM   
tasha_tart


Posts: 385
Joined: 2/20/2004
From: Ontario, Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: michaelGA

that's like going up to a total stranger and saying "I love you, let's get married" wierd

That worked on me.

Tasha

_____________________________


"Sex without love is an empty experience. But as empty experiences go, it's one of the better ones."...Woody Allen

(in reply to michaelGA)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Guidelines for finding a mistress? - 12/24/2005 4:10:45 PM   
MHOO314


Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: michaelGA

that's like going up to a total stranger and saying "I love you, let's get married" wierd


nice analogy--

_____________________________

SLUTS: Southern Ladies Under Tremendous Stress...

Mistress Hathor


(in reply to michaelGA)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Guidelines for finding a mistress? - 12/26/2005 9:43:03 AM   
veronicaofML


Posts: 1317
Joined: 11/19/2005
From: from iowa..now in wisconsin
Status: offline 		that's like going up to a total stranger and saying "I love you, let's get married" wierd
=============
i did when i was getting to know my 3rd wife.

i had not been around her very long..and i popped the Q before she knew what was coming..when i took her to the DQ...



_____________________________

drugs sex and rock n roll,...drugs are good and so is the rock n roll, sex is over rated"
=============
"go straight to hell, do not pass go and do not collect $200"



(in reply to michaelGA)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Guidelines for finding a mistress? - 12/26/2005 1:09:15 PM   
BlkTallFullfig


Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline
quote:

That worked on me.
Tasha
Is that when you got the Tart part to your name?
I'm kidding; I'm a romantic fool too. M

_____________________________

a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to tasha_tart)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Guidelines for finding a mistress? - 12/26/2005 3:44:02 PM   
funboytoy


Posts: 1
Joined: 6/7/2005
Status: offline 		Hey.

I've only contacted a few mistresses because I am looking for someone within an hour or so distance. I have followed all of these guidelines. In fact my first emails are usually just asking what the mistress expects. I have ALWAYS gotten a reply like -- money or $$$$.

Do I just ignore these? It's like, of course money gets involved -- I'm even into financial domination -- but it just seems like the girls are rude, or fake.

Should I just move on?

(in reply to BlkTallFullfig)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Guidelines for finding a mistress? - 12/26/2005 8:20:37 PM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: funboytoy

Hey.

I've only contacted a few mistresses because I am looking for someone within an hour or so distance. I have followed all of these guidelines. In fact my first emails are usually just asking what the mistress expects. I have ALWAYS gotten a reply like -- money or $$$$.

Do I just ignore these? It's like, of course money gets involved -- I'm even into financial domination -- but it just seems like the girls are rude, or fake.

Should I just move on?


You might want to evaluate what you are finding attractive in the profiles if all of your attempts thus far result in conversations about exchanging money.

Are you only writing to pros?
If so, how can you weed those out and start writing to non-pros?

Not to poo poo this site but I still very strongly believe that munches and kinky organizations are the best way to find partners for any type of relationship.


_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to funboytoy)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Guidelines for finding a mistress? - 12/26/2005 9:01:13 PM   
BlkTallFullfig


Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline
quote:

I've only contacted a few mistresses because I am looking for someone within an hour or so distance. I have followed all of these guidelines. In fact my first emails are usually just asking what the mistress expects. I have ALWAYS gotten a reply like -- money or $$$$.

Do I just ignore these? It's like, of course money gets involved -- I'm even into financial domination -- but it just seems like the girls are rude, or fake.
Why do you keep contacting only rude/fake women?
Are you emailing them saying ?how can I serve you?? That line from a long distance person can only mean one thing for me... How can you possibly serve me from wherever you are? Soooo, when writing to women, simply approach them as women, read their profiles, and if you think you two may be a fit, tell them why you thought so, and than I will bet you won't get send me money or I'm a fake vibe as much anymore.
Good luck, and welcome to the boards. M

_____________________________

a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to funboytoy)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Guidelines for finding a mistress? - 12/27/2005 11:16:51 AM   
tasha_tart


Posts: 385
Joined: 2/20/2004
From: Ontario, Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BlkTallFullfig

quote:

That worked on me.
Tasha
Is that when you got the Tart part to your name?
I'm kidding; I'm a romantic fool too. M


No, "tart" came after I was on my own.

And I wasn't *quite* that easy, but it was close. Unfortunately, we spent a lot of years, for various reasons, not quite working out...really should use the big head for thinking...ooops.

Tasha

_____________________________


"Sex without love is an empty experience. But as empty experiences go, it's one of the better ones."...Woody Allen

(in reply to BlkTallFullfig)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Guidelines for finding a mistress? - 12/27/2005 4:25:46 PM   
onceburned


Posts: 2117
Joined: 1/4/2005
From: Iowa
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TexasMaam
quote:

ORIGINAL: EasyE
I was just wondering if any mistresses had any sugestions for male subs contacting and finding you. Of course the obvious is to read the profile but there must be so much more....

1. Persevere.
2. Persevere.
3. Persevere.


Yes, I think that is excellent advice. If you truly want to submit, in a relationship, you should pursue it as you would pursue any dream. Spend your spare time looking for your Domina on the internet or networking in the community. Hone your service skills - take classes, volunteer serving others and take that service seriously (submissively).

Think through the real costs that a relationship might bring. Are you willing to pay the costs or take the chances? Veronica certainly was! You (and I) should be too, if we are serious about finding the One who is right for us to serve.

(in reply to TexasMaam)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Guidelines for finding a mistress? - 12/27/2005 9:23:41 PM   
DarkDove


Posts: 20
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Tennessee
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MadameDahlia

You are right. The first thing is to read her profile.

* The second is to make sure you have a REASON to contact her. If she's in Ohio and only wants local people to contact her intent to be her submissive... don't bug her. She's made it clear that she wants someone from within her own state. Likewise if she has any other things she considers necessary don't contact her if you do not meet her criteria (unless it is merely to offer a compliment or kind word).

* Third, don't become a pain in the ass. Don't write repeated messages in the span of an hour. Don't send her the same message twelve times. And don't get huffy or bitchy when she doesn't answer you immediately. There are probably dozens of others who are all trying to talk to her at the same time.

* Fourth, do not send spam mail - mail that you're sending to every other creature with two legs and breasts. Such things lack a personal touch, and most of the time it shows. It's annoying to a great number of women (however some won't care nearly as much).

* Be sure to ask a woman what she wants to be called in your first email to her. Mistress, Goddess, Lady... Your Majesty... it doesn't matter. It's up to you to decide if you keep talking to them after they've given you the title they respond best to. You can typically start off with Miss or Ma'am without too many feathers flying. Some people are really touchy about that though. Not everyone likes the term "(fill in the blank)" but others will love it.

* Sixth, (and one I find especially important) spell check... make sure you've got proper grammar. Would you turn in a paper to a professor filled with errors? Or perhaps something to a potential boss - littered with typos? I don't understand why people put their best foot forward in those situations... but have no desire to make themselves understood clearly and concisely when writing to someone they want to get to know.

* Seventh, don't resort to insults if you recieve a "no thanks" type of reply. If you asked a woman out for a drink in a bar or pub and she turned you down would you start a scene and scream all sorts of nasty things in a public place? Just because you've had your ego brushed aside don't explode and splatter your wrath all over her. It isn't fair or proper. You're allowed to pick who you want to contact... but she's not allowed to decide who she wants to talk to? What a load of B.S.... don't be one of these types.

That's all I can think of at the moment. I'm sure there are one hundred and one other helpful things that ought to be passed on... but perhaps others will contribute to this thread.


I wish they would post this on the front page of the site. I get so tired of emails from dumbasses that obviously didnt even bother to read the first paragraph of my profile let alone the entire thing. I do amuse myself at times by actually answering the fucktards. LOL

Dark Goddess

(in reply to MadameDahlia)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Guidelines for finding a mistress? - 12/27/2005 9:31:19 PM   
DarkDove


Posts: 20
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Tennessee
Status: offline 		I have three distance slaves who serve me in various ways. I also have two local slaves who serve on a regular basis. I am seeking a 24/7 live in slave as well but that is a big step that will take time to commit to its almost like adopting a child its a huge responsibility to have a live in slave.

I know some of you look down your noses at distance slaves/training and at financial domination. I take part in both and make no apologies for it. I enjoy the creativity involved in distance relationships and financial domination is as legitimate a fetish as any other.

I require my distance slaves to have a webcam, digital camera and cell phone w/camera. The webcam is so that I can see that they are obeying instruction. The digital camera for obvious reasons and the phone with cam is so that I can keep track of them 24/7 . If I tell them to wear their pink panties and a butt plug to work under their regular clothing and I call them during their work day to see that they obeyed me they can use their cell phone camera to take the photo right then and send it to me. Keeping a tight reign on them and training them is a little more difficult and requires some creativity but it is still as legitate and worthwhile as training a slave real time.

I would like to note that I do not accept just anyone as a slave. I have an application and requirements that must be met before I even consider them and all are considered for future realtime service and possible 24/7 live in if they turn out to be the one right for the position.

Dark Goddess

quote:

ORIGINAL: funboytoy

Hey.

I've only contacted a few mistresses because I am looking for someone within an hour or so distance. I have followed all of these guidelines. In fact my first emails are usually just asking what the mistress expects. I have ALWAYS gotten a reply like -- money or $$$$.

Do I just ignore these? It's like, of course money gets involved -- I'm even into financial domination -- but it just seems like the girls are rude, or fake.

Should I just move on?


(in reply to funboytoy)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Guidelines for finding a mistress? - 12/28/2005 6:15:28 AM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline 		Not a real reply to any one post but something that has happened along the original lines of this thread.

I had someone contact me (again) saying he wants a chance to be my slave.

I explain my process of getting to know someone and learning if the potential is there on both sides. I ask him a question (content not relevant) and he replies in a few words.

I explain again that this is a process of getting to know him and ask another question -- again a few words back.

So I write one final time and tell him that he is not giving me enough to encourage me to continue asking questions... we certainly weren't talking.

So my advice is that if you contact someone who says (as I do) this is how I want to get to know you, follow that process. Write back in multiple sentences, ask your own questions, in short, treat this as you would a friendly conversation with someone you meet at a munch or if that feels "too unsceney" to you treat it as a job interview and show you are qualified.

Doesn't mean that the potential will be there but at least you have a shot then.


_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to DarkDove)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Guidelines for finding a mistress? - 12/28/2005 8:25:32 AM   
DarkDove


Posts: 20
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Tennessee
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: thetammyjo

Not a real reply to any one post but something that has happened along the original lines of this thread.

I had someone contact me (again) saying he wants a chance to be my slave.

I explain my process of getting to know someone and learning if the potential is there on both sides. I ask him a question (content not relevant) and he replies in a few words.

I explain again that this is a process of getting to know him and ask another question -- again a few words back.

So I write one final time and tell him that he is not giving me enough to encourage me to continue asking questions... we certainly weren't talking.

So my advice is that if you contact someone who says (as I do) this is how I want to get to know you, follow that process. Write back in multiple sentences, ask your own questions, in short, treat this as you would a friendly conversation with someone you meet at a munch or if that feels "too unsceney" to you treat it as a job interview and show you are qualified.

Doesn't mean that the potential will be there but at least you have a shot then.



I hate that!! I have noticed a lot of slaves who are like fucking zombies. It seems all they know is Yes Mistress and No Mistress. I need even my slaves to have a personality. Why would I be interested in a 24/7 relationship with someone I cant even tell if I like or not. I mean there must a connection between Mistress and slave or its just going to get extremely boring very quickly!

Dark Goddess

(in reply to thetammyjo)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Guidelines for finding a mistress? - 12/30/2005 6:22:00 PM   
trueshadow


Posts: 388
Joined: 1/1/2005
Status: offline
quote:


Be patient, it isn't going to happen over-night.



Truer words were never spoken. Truth be told, it might take years, or never. In my life I've had a number of vanilla girlfriends, but only a couple of Dommes to serve. And if they get a better offer, they bolt.

Get used to not getting what you want. I settled a number of times for a vanilla woman, just to have a decent relationship. It's easier to get them to spank you and slap your balls than it is finding a true Domme out there to do the same.

You have to be realistic. There are many more subs/slaves than Dommes out there. (What cracks me up is they are always complaining, 'there are no subs!' Well, I suppose there aren't that many hot subs that look like Brad Pitt. That's true. But there are a lot of 'for real' slaves who would love to worship you.)

(in reply to MstrssPassion)
Profile   Post #: 39
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