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girl4you2 -> RE: What is Submissive? (12/21/2005 1:07:36 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: KnightofMists
I consider the question of what is Dominance- Submission to be understood as considering them as two opposites on the same continuum. I see them as adjectives, meaning many of our demonstrated behaviors can be described as either dominant or submissive in nature. The nouns of these terms Dominant and Submissive would be individuals whose behaviors are distinctly more pronounced to be aligned towards one side of the spectrum over the other.
------------------Frequency
----------------------of
----------------Demonstrated
------------------Behaviors
-----------------------|---------------------------------
-----------------------|---------------------------------
----------------------x|x------------------------------
-------------------xxxx|xxxx---------------------------
-----------------xxxxxx|xxxxxxx----------------------
--------------xxxxxxxxx|xxxxxxxxxx--------------------
--------------xxxxxxxxx|xxxxxxxxxxx--------------------
----------------------------------------------------------
Dominance-------------------------------------Submission
The above diagram is a poor graphical representation of the bell curve. It represents the person who thru the course of their daily life does not demonstrate any more dominant behaviors than submissive behaviors. The Dominant person will see a shift of this curve to the right while the Submissive person we will see a shift of the curve to the left. From a pure mathematical consideration you could take any two curves representing the demonstrated behaviors of two people and establish the differences between the quantities of dominant/submissive behaviors of the two people. However, what we consider as particularly dominant behaviors and what we consider as submissive behaviors is a subjective opinion from person to person. Some particular behaviors could be universally accepted, however the actual number of such behaviors that could be accept as universal would be of such a minimal amount that they would be meaningless as a comparison between individuals. Since universal understanding and defining of what would be considered a dominant or a submissive behavior is impossible, we are therefore left to compare others relative to our selves and our own subjective opinions and priorities.
This leads me to my second point, since we are unable to determine any real universal understanding of what would be considered as demonstrated Behaviors of submission or dominance. We surely can’t come to an understanding of what are quality dominant/submissive behaviors demonstrated. Which behaviors are of a higher quality and/or importance is as subjective as determining which behaviors are dominant or submissive in the first place. My views on what are to be considered dominant/submissive behaviors and which ones are of the greatest importance or quality is only relative to me. We each have that right of self-determination and judgement. This right doesn’t make others necessarily better or worse in a universal sense, but it does make a person better or worse for me. Too often we transfer our subjective choices as value judgments upon others in a universal sense. This can only be destructive to community cohesiveness and not enhancing or reinforcing it.
ok took alittle editing to get the graphic readable
in my view, your position and graphic came through with great clarity. as it is something between two (or more) individuals, this dance will vary as to intensity and qualities/ideas/behaviours expressed. if it works for those involved, it is indeed "right" for them. thank you for this explanation.
quote:
ORIGINAL: Padriag
quote:
ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross
quote:
ORIGINAL: Padriag
I think the real crux in the debate over the difference between a sub and a slave really comes down to the degree of authority transferred. Among subs, the degree of authority varies anywhere from just bedroom play / sex to life in the home, to control of the check book. Every couple has to define where that "degree of transferr" is, and its one of those things where there is no right or wrong answer, just what is right for them.
I get you there, and I know YOUR perspective is sound...but this is what leads people to think slaves are BETTER or MORE than subs (or think that slaves think they are), or that subs should somehow PROGRESS into slaves. If it's just a matter of "degree" then you can just change the thermostat and things go where you want.
That's unfortunately true. Here's the thing people need to keep in mind, its only better if its what you need. Slaves, submissives, dominants, masters, its not about being "better", its about finding what suits you best. Whether a submissive (personality) is a Submissive (noun) or a slave is about what suits them best as an individual. The same is true with whether a dominant seeks a submissive or a slave, what suits them best?
this also a wonderful explanation as well; the consensus is here is excellent.
edited to add Padriag's response as well as responding to KnightofMists' post
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