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What is it with players.... - 12/21/2005 1:13:08 AM   
StrictNCalMaster


Posts: 1
Joined: 6/29/2005
Status: offline 		Hello Collarme participants,

I need to ask, "What is it with players" when they make a mockery of those who are actually trying to make a connection within the lifestyle while using this website or any other that is available. Last nigth, i was contacted by someone on this website saying they wanted to know more and earlier this morning, we were able to make a connection of sorts and things looked very promising. I was hoping that when I got back from work, that I may find that this certain individual would either be online, ready to resume where we had left off, or at the least,left a message telling me when they may be back on. Instead, I had a message waiting for me, but I also had another one attached to it stating that this certain profile was no longer available and that I could not respond to the message or profile anymore.

So, I need to ask, what is it with them (players), that they can go off and do this to those who are truly serious, seeking to make a sincere connection within the lifestyle.

StrictNCalMaster
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: What is it with players.... - 12/21/2005 1:57:21 AM   
Chaingang


Posts: 1727
Joined: 10/24/2005
Status: offline 		I hear what you are saying but a big part of me wants to tell you to stop crying in your beer and move on. You have what 12-24 hrs invested max?

I will now play the tiniest violin in the world just for you...

_____________________________

"Everything flows, nothing stands still." (Πάντα ῥεῖ καὶ οὐδὲν μένει) - Heraclitus

(in reply to StrictNCalMaster)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: What is it with players.... - 12/21/2005 3:45:08 AM   
imtempting


Posts: 1280
Joined: 2/11/2005
Status: offline 		Normally players will use you in real life then leave...

(in reply to StrictNCalMaster)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: What is it with players.... - 12/21/2005 8:14:21 AM   
OscarHargraves


Posts: 693
Joined: 8/9/2005
Status: offline 		There is no accounting for people and what they will do. Consider this another experience on life's rocky road and just move on. Don't get upset, don't get heartbroken and don't get bitter. Just get on with your life.

_____________________________

Never drive faster than your guardian angel can fly ! !

(in reply to StrictNCalMaster)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: What is it with players.... - 12/21/2005 8:21:46 AM   
windy135


Posts: 437
Joined: 10/17/2005
Status: offline 		Yeah just one of those things. this happens to me in real life also... people are just stupid.. its annoying

(in reply to OscarHargraves)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: What is it with players.... - 12/21/2005 8:39:48 AM   
candystripper


Posts: 3486
Joined: 11/1/2005
Status: offline 		It's as if they want a certain portion of the D/s experience, but will never be real life, due to marriage or other self-inflictd injuries. They cannot reveal their intentions to steal Your time or possibly excite Your heart; most seem to take it further than the woman You spoke to; one guy dangled me on and off for a year till i said "this is bulls**t, i want to meet"; then he disappeared.

There's no screening device; but i am sorry this happened to You and hope Your next interaction will be more positive.

candystripper

(in reply to windy135)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: What is it with players.... - 12/21/2005 11:02:53 AM   
Rassitter


Posts: 35
Joined: 11/6/2005
Status: offline 		Well, not everyone is a player.

Perhaps she was very new. She may have interest, but is not ready to jump in with both feet just yet. She may have all these different emotions running through her, part of her telling her this is crazy, the other part telling her that she wants it so bad and needs this to be a part of her life to be complete. Perhaps things were moving to fast for her and she shut down for a bit to process everything. Maybe she will be back by tomorrow. I would not give up on her just yet, if she is new, patience may be needed to help bring her along.

*Scratching head* Or she could have just been a fat bald guy playing too. Sometimes you never find out.

I like to think she was a shy newbie, but I always try to find the best in people.

(in reply to candystripper)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: What is it with players.... - 12/21/2005 11:10:39 AM   
fastlane


Posts: 2159
Joined: 5/26/2005
Status: offline 		My son wears a T-shirt that says "Don't hate the player, hate the game!"

Truth is, you will find sincere and insincere people on any board you participate on.
Hang in there and weed out the bad ones, soon you will find the right one.

Be patient!

Kevin

_____________________________

Just because it hurts, doesn't necessarily make it a bad thing.

(in reply to Rassitter)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: What is it with players.... - 12/21/2005 1:01:12 PM   
NakedOnMyChain


Posts: 2431
Joined: 11/29/2004
From: Indiana
Status: offline 		In the immortal words of Depeche Mode, "People are people." You'll get the players in with the good ones. Usually the players on this site are the ones that want quick sex or whack off material, though. It's always a good idea to watch out for them.

_____________________________

"Oh, it's torture, but I'm almost there."
~The Cure

"I ask for so little. Just fear me, love me, do as I say, and I will be your slave."
~The Labyrinth

(in reply to StrictNCalMaster)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: What is it with players.... - 12/21/2005 1:59:20 PM   
BlkTallFullfig


Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline
quote:

I need to ask, "What is it with players" when they make a mockery of those who are actually trying to make a connection within the lifestyle while using this website or any other that is available. Last nigth, i was contacted by someone on this website saying they wanted to know more and earlier this morning, we were able to make a connection of sorts and things looked very promising.
My thought is just be glad it's just an online game; I am very capable of understanding a lot of people suck when they approach online and lie through their teeth to get their wants/needs met. I am much more affected and hurt when the player is a real life liar who though in a committed relationship (married or otherwise attached) still professes he is single and available until she comes to visit and he has to make self available physically. M

_____________________________

a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to StrictNCalMaster)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: What is it with players.... - 12/21/2005 3:55:17 PM   
kyraofMists


Posts: 3292
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline 		I only read the subject line of your post and the first thought that went through my head is “what is your definition of player”? Player is a very subjective label that can encompass a wide variety of behaviors. Some could consider my Lord a player because he owns two girls and then he also has a bottom. To me he is not a player, but from someone else’s perspective they may disagree.

For me a player is someone who does not take relationships or commitment seriously and wish to “play the field” so to speak. Now there are a lot of negative connotations that go along with this label, but I disagree with that judgment. If they are up front and honest about their lack of interest to commit to a relationship and desire to pursue interactions with other people what is wrong with that? If you are seeking more than that, then it only means the two of you are not compatible, not that there is something wrong with what the other person wants.

To say that players make a mockery of people looking to make connections is rather dramatic. Just because someone does not pursue the type of relationship that you pursue does not mean they are mocking your choice. They are living their life they way they wish to live it.

As for the situation you describe, it would not necessarily lead me to label this person a player. There are a wide variety of reasons why someone deletes their profile and may have little to do with how seriously they take relationships. It could also be that the connection you felt was entirely one-sided. That does not mean this person is a player, just not interested in pursuing a relationship with you. There could be any number of reasons of why you can no longer contact this person. So you found someone who isn’t compatible with you, nice to find out rather quickly than to invest more effort into it than a couple of emails and a chat.

Knight's kyra

_____________________________

"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

(in reply to StrictNCalMaster)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: What is it with players.... - 12/21/2005 4:04:16 PM   
BalletBob


Posts: 1645
Joined: 7/14/2005
Status: offline 		I think it gives others in this group a bad name. I am straight forward and tell the person interested in me, everything about me, so they know who I am and what I am looking for. I eve made like a Resume, and plan on sending it to any Mistress (or what ever) that is interested in me. I want them to know my experiences and where I want to go from here, not leaving much to guess.

That persone should of told you rightaway, whet they were looking for, to see if you were both compatable to begin with.

Sincerly, BalletBob

_____________________________

"I get my kicks above the Waistline, Sunshine"

(in reply to StrictNCalMaster)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: What is it with players.... - 12/21/2005 4:27:55 PM   
darkte


Posts: 2
Joined: 9/28/2005
Status: offline 		In my own estimation, Things that happen too quickly often burn and fade just as quickly. The fact that this all happened online lays great credence to that fact.. When people come online, They can say, As well as label themselves as anything they wish. It's not real life by any means. It's a terrible grey area that I consider, As I am going through it myself, Maddening. I have even gone to such lengths as to hide my profile here and elsewhere. I don't know that I offer advice per se, But making a connection etc involves not just words, But emotion and intent - Both things are very difficult to articulate online with type and smileys... The internet is a nice icebreaker so to speak, But nothing to base much more than hope on. I am probably wrong and way off etc.. But it's where I am at right now.

In any case, Keep going!!! Don't get hung up on people living vicariously, And don't live vicariously yourself. You won't go wrong - Call it a hunch....

Darkte

(in reply to BalletBob)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: What is it with players.... - 12/21/2005 5:07:10 PM   
Yourkitten


Posts: 56
Joined: 10/28/2005
Status: offline 		in my profile when its written all the way i do say i want to meet sooner than later. when i say i will meet halfway if its easier they say they are busy or maybe in a few weeks. thats usually when i know they arent for real. i have also offered to drive all the way to them and still get the they cant take the time off or something has come up.

some of it is the truth but i have gotten to where i can tell pretty well when they are lying. and i hate liars. but this has happened on all the sites i have been on including vanilla ones. males and females . it makes no sense to talk online and on the phone for months or even years just to find out finally it wasnt ever going to happen.

these sites i did think were for meeting real people and if you cant meet in real time then why are they here. i am for real and hope the ones who i talk to are also. if not then its good to find out sooner than later. id hate to lose one good one because of the bad one.

(in reply to darkte)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: What is it with players.... - 12/23/2005 9:42:01 PM   
MasterBenedict


Posts: 309
Status: offline 		Here HEAR!!
-is all I can say

_____________________________

If you can LAUGH at it you can live WITH it!

(in reply to StrictNCalMaster)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: What is it with players.... - 12/23/2005 9:48:54 PM   
blimabean


Posts: 20
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		WHY.... try figuring out what they want???

And if it effects you deeply, IMO you need to re-evaluate your vulnerabilty.
What do you expect off a "free" site?

Tis the major down-fall here, the HNGs.

< Message edited by blimabean -- 12/23/2005 9:49:32 PM >

(in reply to Yourkitten)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: What is it with players.... - 12/23/2005 9:49:30 PM   
truesub4u


Posts: 2949
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline 		Breaks out the cards and poker chips.

Makes sure the bar is stocked....

OK PLAYERS.......... IT"S PLAYTIME

Best way to look at this. You spent alittle time doing something. You either won, or lost, or broke even.
You lost a little time, you won the true sight, you broke even on the fact that she wasn't ready and you found this out quickly.

(in reply to Yourkitten)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: What is it with players.... - 12/24/2005 3:11:41 AM   
candystripper


Posts: 3486
Joined: 11/1/2005
Status: offline
quote:

To me he is not a player, but from someone else’s perspective they may disagree.

kyra


i do not think KoM is a player; and i think you are most fortunate to have Him as your Master.

candystripper

< Message edited by candystripper -- 12/24/2005 3:12:08 AM >

(in reply to kyraofMists)
Profile   Post #: 18
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