Floating away vs putting up with the Mistress's kink

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Floating away vs putting up with the Mistress's kink - 11/17/2008 7:56:25 AM

MsFlutter

Posts: 1305
Joined: 11/12/2008
From: East Coast
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Forgive the structure of this inquiry. I'm fairly certain that a 'definitive' answer does not exist. That's the fun of this forum - feedback from some very discerning and highly entertaining individuals. :)

Note: I realize that some relationships are so finely-tuned that discussion of this doesnt even apply.

(shhhhh... I'm setting the scene....)

Things have quieted a bit. Your submissive has transitioned from busy-work-a-day person to the one in your care. Until/unless a mindmeld is an option, their reactions (vocal or otherwise) to the components of the scene are units of measurement.

As the scene progresses and the intensity rises, is your sub vocal in reaction to your implement of choice or is he/she quiet - reaching for the edges of subspace. Do they find your monologue reassuring it or does it hold them back from 'floating away'?

Are questions (other than those re: welfare) considered rhetorical?

A normal gauge of 'action' is 'reaction'. Sometimes going quiet can be interpreted as 'tolerating' the attentions of the moment. In reality it is often progression to subspace. In your experience, what has always been the least 'jarring' method of determining that?

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RE: Floating away vs putting up with the Mistress's kink - 11/17/2008 8:32:53 AM

SomethingCatchy

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My former sub got really quiet sometimes, and after a few dozen times asking him what was going on, I figured out how to read his body. His facial expressions were interesting, but most of the time if his toes were curled, or his back arched a bit, I could tell he was enjoying what was happening vs. going through the motions to please me.

This is a good topic, and I may learn some things.

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RE: Floating away vs putting up with the Mistress's kink - 11/17/2008 12:43:41 PM

MsLadySue

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Joined: 12/18/2004
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My sub, bless his heart, begins his journey to sub space as soon as his cuffs are on. He still reacts to the implements used with a moan or some other sound and when I get heavy handed I hear "that was a good one" though at times it's barely audible. lol We talk after scenes, he's never complained about what I've done, and tells me what he enjoyed, what felt the most intense, etc.

What does surprise me is how dizzy he is after a scene. I have to guide and support him to the couch for after care.

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RE: Floating away vs putting up with the Mistress's kink - 11/17/2008 4:14:39 PM

MmeGigs

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Joined: 1/26/2008
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My hubby is very expressive. I can tell from the noises he makes where he is with things. Seems to me like he's pretty easy to read. I'm not a talker during a scene. I'll check in when I think it's appropriate, give directions when I need to, but I have no patter or monologue.

I don't think that hubby really does subspace much. He does get the adrenaline buzz going, but he recovers very quickly after a scene. He grins like an idiot for hours afterwards, but there have only been a few that I can recall where he couldn't really communicate much during and wasn't with-it enough afterwards to help clean up. Those scenes require at least two tops and are fun.

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RE: Floating away vs putting up with the Mistress's kink - 11/17/2008 6:27:46 PM

MistressFaye1

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One, I can't tell becasue he feels he has to "tolerate" anything because it is what I want at the time and he's quiet all the time unless I ask him a question. That being said, I proceed with caution and watch for signs of distress or overly stressed reactions. I haven't seen or sensed any and I honestly don't know if this is a good thing or not.

The other is vocal... very vocal and I love it!

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RE: Floating away vs putting up with the Mistress's kink - 11/17/2008 7:18:46 PM

JoyfulMistress

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I have a girl that is rather loud and you could close your eyes and listen to her release and fly ... then there are my boys.. who .. over time I have had to learn to read their bodies as they are not vocal .. they tend to loose themselves in the mix of the music and the sensations they feel during the scene .. perhaps hearing me speak but after the scene you could ask them and they would not remember what I said to them .....
When playing with others that I am not completely aware of reactions I let them know that during the scene I will be squeezing their hand twice and wish to have them return the squeezes... as that is me silently asking them if *they are ok* and their responce with two squeezes are their silent* I am okay* ....oddly enough I find I do that even outside of the scene.. during everyday things.. just grab their hands and give them the old two squeeze check ...

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RE: Floating away vs putting up with the Mistress's kink - 11/17/2008 7:32:36 PM

darchChylde

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From: Warm Springs, GA but i live in San Francisco.
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edited to move post: sorry, wrong thread.

Why yes Ossifer, I'm serfectly pober. I didn't drop a drink all night. Straight line? There's no such thing in nature. WHY DON'T YOU SAY IT BACKWARDS?!?!?!

< Message edited by darchChylde -- 11/17/2008 7:45:03 PM >

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RE: Floating away vs putting up with the Mistress's kink - 11/17/2008 8:54:07 PM

AlexandraLynch

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Even if it's not their favorite path to get there, the things I do are about getting them there just as much as they are about me getting what I want. What I want is to control how they get there, and how fast, etc.

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RE: Floating away vs putting up with the Mistress's kink - 11/17/2008 9:20:05 PM

ShaktiSama

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The boykin has an extremely expressive body and face, and he is also blessedly vocal throughout most ordinary D/S stimuli. I have only rendered him speechless/soundless a few times on command--for him, this is a very special (and extremely sexy-to-watch) form of suffering--and once when I worked him over for three hours and had him flying very high on endorphins.

Even when he was absolutely soaring in the stratosphere, and he had stopped talking as much--his body language spoke loud and clear. The combination of body language and verbal feedback is optimal for me, and he's a wonderful sub for that. One of the most sensitive and responsive human beings I've ever met. Couldn't ask for a more delightful masochist.

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RE: Floating away vs putting up with the Mistress's kink - 11/18/2008 5:30:13 AM

chezzy71

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I have been known to dance at times in a peculiar way but it doesn't rain so the threat of flooding is miniscule.

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RE: Floating away vs putting up with the Mistress's kink - 11/18/2008 4:41:02 PM

MsFlutter

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MsFlutter

Forgive the structure of this inquiry. I'm fairly certain that a 'definitive' answer does not exist. That's the fun of this forum - feedback from some very discerning and highly entertaining individuals. :)

Note: I realize that some relationships are so finely-tuned that discussion of this doesnt even apply.

(shhhhh... I'm setting the scene....)

Things have quieted a bit. Your submissive has transitioned from busy-work-a-day person to the one in your care. Until/unless a mindmeld is an option, their reactions (vocal or otherwise) to the components of the scene are units of measurement.

As the scene progresses and the intensity rises, is your sub vocal in reaction to your implement of choice or is he/she quiet - reaching for the edges of subspace. Do they find your monologue reassuring it or does it hold them back from 'floating away'?

Are questions (other than those re: welfare) considered rhetorical?

A normal gauge of 'action' is 'reaction'. Sometimes going quiet can be interpreted as 'tolerating' the attentions of the moment. In reality it is often progression to subspace. In your experience, what has always been the least 'jarring' method of determining that?

I posed a question similar to this on the Ask a Sub/Slave board. The answers from both boards have been very very interesting. The 'chatty' time during aftercare has always been critically important to those involved. As a student of human behavior, however, I'm thrilled to have more glimpses of the inner workings of the mind during a scene.

The biggest question in my mind, based on a past experience, was 'would a sub go thru the motions just to be polite? Is it subspace or is it 'are we there yet?'

I enjoy all the wisdom (not to mention the comedy material!) that shows up here !

_____________________________

'Dont torture yourself, Gomez darling. That's my job' Morticia Addams

"The right data, filtered through an idiot, can yield a bad answer." einstien5201

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RE: Floating away vs putting up with the Mistress's kink - 11/18/2008 4:51:22 PM

painpup

Posts: 132
Joined: 2/16/2005
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why does it got be so Tough to meet people on Here gezz it be great to have a positive meet i'd rave it up and no i'm not being selfish or self serving we're all Human well maybe not but this looked like a great place to start for a answer

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