Does Sex corrupt a Ds relationship?

Does Sex corrupt a Ds relationship? (Full Version)

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FloridaMistresse -> Does Sex corrupt a Ds relationship? (11/17/2008 12:01:16 PM)
Recently I posted about Vanilla over shadowing a Ds relationship and how to avoid that from happening. A wonderful Dominant responded to Me privately about a forum she attended about the same topic. It was discussed that a sexual relationship was harder to maintain a Ds dynamic that a Non sexual Ds relationship. I have heard this utter from others as well. So, I thought it would make for an ineresting post. Does sex ( romantic sex, not play party sex) blur the Ds lines or infrige, harm, over shadow, make more vanilla the Ds dymanic.

Venatrix -> RE: Does Sex corrupt a Ds relationship? (11/17/2008 12:10:25 PM)
My sub is my property to use as I see fit. If I see fit to use him for sex, and even allow him to have an orgasm, I don't see how that disrupts the d/s dynamic.

MistressDolly -> RE: Does Sex corrupt a Ds relationship? (11/17/2008 12:12:34 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: FloridaMistresse Recently I posted about Vanilla over shadowing a Ds relationship and how to avoid that from happening. A wonderful Dominant responded to Me privately about a forum she attended about the same topic. It was discussed that a sexual relationship was harder to maintain a Ds dynamic that a Non sexual Ds relationship. I have heard this utter from others as well. So, I thought it would make for an ineresting post. Does sex ( romantic sex, not play party sex) blur the Ds lines or infrige, harm, over shadow, make more vanilla the Ds dymanic. Why not use a slave for sex; it is within Your right, no? *wink

darchChylde -> RE: Does Sex corrupt a Ds relationship? (11/17/2008 12:21:42 PM)
Sex can ruin or enhance any relationship, it can cause it to stagnate or even allow it one to blossom. None of these possibilities are exclusive of or only to D/s relationships; it is based on the individuals involved, their dynamic and their personal reactions to all the many aspects of sexual interaction. By the way, the absence of sex can do all the same things mentioned above; like much in our community, there are no hard and fast rules.

LadyPact -> RE: Does Sex corrupt a Ds relationship? (11/17/2008 12:23:42 PM)
I have to say that for Me, it does. One of the best things I ever did with My current boy, waiting until he was collared was the right choice. It just worked for Me.

LadyHibiscus -> RE: Does Sex corrupt a Ds relationship? (11/17/2008 12:25:58 PM)
Most of my D/s relationships were non sexual, and I expect I will always have my minions, regardless of my romantic life. With romantic partners, I found that the deterioration of the sexual part of the relationship was more corrupting than the sex being there in the first place. When a lot of issues are swirling around, sex is often the common ground for a couple---when that is gone, there might not be much left.

Lashra -> RE: Does Sex corrupt a Ds relationship? (11/17/2008 12:42:00 PM)
Sex is very important to me and it is always a part of my playtime with my sub. I do not think it corrupts a D/s relationship. I think what can corrupt a D/s relationship is slacking over time by either side or both sides of the whip. All relationships take work and D/s is no exception. ~Lashra

Lockit -> RE: Does Sex corrupt a Ds relationship? (11/17/2008 3:57:58 PM)
Sex corrupts? Oh shit! Actually, it makes a lot of things work better for me and if it corrupted anything I would be history. If submission to me is based on sexual anythings, I don't want it. If the relationship is enhanced, cool, if it is in any way changed other than that, there is a bigger problem that needs to be addressed. Typically by an exit, but that is just my experience.

Huntertn -> RE: Does Sex corrupt a Ds relationship? (11/17/2008 4:01:38 PM)
I have found exactly one sub that did not want sex to mix wiht D/s..and only one.I remember being very surprised at the time..later I came to understand to her sex got in the way of the D/s...Funny I've never felt like that

StrictnSaucy -> RE: Does Sex corrupt a Ds relationship? (11/17/2008 4:04:54 PM)
I wouldnt be fulfilled in a relationship with out sex. So for me its a necessity. It doesnt impact on our bdsm interactions - its an addition

YourhandMyAss -> RE: Does Sex corrupt a Ds relationship? (11/17/2008 4:12:01 PM)
For me if he's keeping me sexually satisfied and happy, I am more inclined to be submissive and make him happy, more than I already to.

LadyConstanze -> RE: Does Sex corrupt a Ds relationship? (11/17/2008 4:17:36 PM)
It does depend a bit really, if it is with my partner, well then no, if it is just with somebody I'm playing with, then I rather not mix the sex bit in because that could make it quite confusing

mummyman321 -> RE: Does Sex corrupt a Ds relationship? (11/17/2008 4:55:53 PM)
For me BDSM enhances the sexual relationship versus corrupting it. Though if someone feels the need to corrupt me who I am to say no? [sm=evil.gif]

Politesub53 -> RE: Does Sex corrupt a Ds relationship? (11/17/2008 4:56:05 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze It does depend a bit really, if it is with my partner, well then no, if it is just with somebody I'm playing with, then I rather not mix the sex bit in because that could make it quite confusing Nice point Ma`am. I would think some relationships are based on just play, and introducing a sexual aspect would lead to complications. That said, i think it is entirely possible to have a sexual relationship and not lose sight of the dynamic. Infact, for me that would work quite well. The more intimate i am, the more i would trust someone with regards to limits.

shymetalsub -> RE: Does Sex corrupt a Ds relationship? (11/17/2008 5:18:02 PM)
There are plenty of people (myself included) who see D/s as an extension of love, sex and romance. So for many of us, throwing sex into the mix is just the natural step. The only way I could see sex as complicating things is if vanilla sex started encroaching upon a D/s couple, either because of a busy schedule, laziness, etc. To me nothing cramps a femdom sexual relationship like excessive blow jobs and missionary position. Vanilla sex can just KILL the mood and change the headspace for both parties.

Lockit -> RE: Does Sex corrupt a Ds relationship? (11/17/2008 5:22:20 PM)
I see sex as sex... there is no vanilla or d/s or anything else to it. I mix sex with my dominance, sure... and I am sure who I am with mixes submission with our sex... but sex is sex and that is that. I do not see a blow job as submissive, nor the missionary position. They are just fun to me! I do what I want... now that is dominant sex I guess... but it's all the same to me. I don't take my dominance off to have certain types of sex. lol

LadyConstanze -> RE: Does Sex corrupt a Ds relationship? (11/17/2008 5:28:55 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Politesub53 quote: ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze It does depend a bit really, if it is with my partner, well then no, if it is just with somebody I'm playing with, then I rather not mix the sex bit in because that could make it quite confusing Nice point Ma`am. I would think some relationships are based on just play, and introducing a sexual aspect would lead to complications. That said, i think it is entirely possible to have a sexual relationship and not lose sight of the dynamic. Infact, for me that would work quite well. The more intimate i am, the more i would trust someone with regards to limits. Well, I'm a rather monogamous animal when it comes to sex, though when it comes to topping somebody, I'm not monogamous... Let me put it this way, I have no issue with somebody being aroused or wanting release, but if vanilla sex is involved and we're just play partners, I like to keep my own sexual satisfaction out of the equation, if that makes sense? Or to be quite blunt, intercourse or "oral worship" isn't an option or it would muddle things up for me...

MistressFaye1 -> RE: Does Sex corrupt a Ds relationship? (11/17/2008 5:53:11 PM)
My play is sensual/sexual, most of the time but I don't have sexual "intercourse" with anyone but my alpha. Our relationship is enhanced by it. We will be getting married next year, a FemDom... match made in heaven. As always... what works for some may not work for others. I warn new Dommes and submissives, that I mentor or train to not fall into the trap of putting themselves in a limited box because of what they've read or told them. We should all work on making our relationships into what we want them to be and not what someone said they should be according to their BDSM 101. Ms. Faye

FetishRose -> RE: Does Sex corrupt a Ds relationship? (11/17/2008 6:30:05 PM)
In my opinion, sex does not "corrupt" a D/s relationship. There are relationships that are meant to exist without sex that are very successful, and there are relationships were sex is a crucial element that are likewise very happy and fulfilling. I, personally, am a sexual creature. However, I don't think 'vanilla sex' devalues any D/s connotation the relationship has. Even the most standard sexual encounter (say, one man, one woman, missionary, etc) is neither inherently vanilla or D/s related. As one who only serves women, if I bring my Lady to orgasm through oral stimulation, and she does the same in return to me, this would not corrupt our relationship in the slightest. I was still there for her pleasure. If it was her pleasure to enjoy no toy, no whips, no bondage pleasure, who am I to say no? If it is her pleasure to enjoy bringing me to orgasm, it is still at her whim.

Venatrix -> RE: Does Sex corrupt a Ds relationship? (11/17/2008 7:32:31 PM)
With apologies to Lord Acton, I've wanted to say this all day: Sex corrupts. Absolute sex corrupts absolutely. I feel so much better now [:D]

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