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LovingNcruelMs -> RE: new some help (11/18/2008 8:25:57 AM)
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hi lynn:
I am both a therapist and a Lifestyle Domme with a 24/7 slave. what your Master is saying is that he needs a balanced relationship with you. he wants u to be both his g/f and his slave. to the outside world u and he will appear as a loving happy vanilla couple, while behind closed doors you will be his kinky obedient slave.
as was pointed out above in most relationships, be they vanilla or D/s people must still live in the regular world, jobs, family, friends and other intersts do not disappear instead they are part of it all. he is also saying I need more than just to give u orders. as a Domme one of the things I most appreciate about o/Our connection is that sometimes we are just 2 people in love. he is free to treat Me lovingly and even at times tease Me. sometimes when I'm not looking he gooses Me and twirls Me, even when he knows I will most likely slap him when he puts Me down and pay him back with some light CBT. he is a wonderful, intelligent, capable Alpha male who loves football , hockey and the history channel. but, he is ALSO a dedicated, obedient, extremely slavish pain puppy, who gives Me everything I ask of him including. I am a warm, caring, nurturing, religious, activist. but I am also a harsh sensual sadists who loves training and punishing slaves.
the great thing about BDSM is that there is no "set way" to live the lifestyle it is completely up to the TWO of you to decide how it will work for you. he may be saying I want D/s only in the bedroom, or only on the weekends or, only on tuesdays whent he moon is out, and you may need it everyday but not on saturdays.... just sit wth your Master and ask him what he needs and then tell him what you need. then test it out. as with any other relationship it will need "adjustments" but as long as you talk to one another and are honest about what does and what doesn't work for should work. good luck and if you'd like more counseling I do BDSM counseling online or by phone. My email address is Mistress_Angeoline at Yahoo.
I spoke to My slave about your message and he penned the following to you:
when starting out move slowly into the life. not only for yourself, but for your owner. Eating or watching television can be good nilla times, or simply ask when and where he wants to be a regular guy. don't move too fast, you want your love/connection to last. you cannot enjoy something if you are doing it all the time, absence makes the heart grow fonder. your ability to be a sub will increase when you are in nilla mode, in that you can look at your own behavior and improve upon it when u go back to sub mode.
I hope this helped
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