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Orgasms Without Pain - 12/21/2005 1:42:40 PM

truesub4u

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Something has come to my attention while posting on the anal sex thread. I noticed a few post stating that they love the pain of anal sex. Now I know I love this as well. As much as fear the pain. And like stated, never experianced an anal orgasm.

The question behind this post. Is Pain. I'm finding out the more I experiance pain. The more I love it and look to explore more and more. And Now I have a fear of not being able to reach an orgasm with out some type of pain. Either it be nipple, spanked.. etc...

When I'm allowed to masturbate because Master is unvailable for a few days. And if I'm in the mood, he grants me permission to. I find that I can not reach an orgasm of satisfaction heights with out pain. Where as I use to be able to rub clit and have an orgasm. Then it moved to my mind running fantasies. Then the pain. Is this all normal. Or do I have reason to be worried over this?

Now I know I can still perform sexually, sensually with normal every day run of the mill sex. But I get no deep satisfaction from this. I may very well even get off... a little. But It's not truely satisfying. I find myself wanting, needing more. And I find it slightly disturbing that it has to be somewhat painful.

Ok long way around a question I know. So the question... or questions is this. .......

1. Is this normal for pain lovers
2. Is this something I should be worried about as far as mentally, and physically?
3. Have others thought of this as well? And are experiancing the same?
4. Am I headed for trouble with this as far as never being able to go back to normal pleasures?

thanks.....

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RE: Orgasms Without Pain - 12/21/2005 5:58:32 PM

kyraofMists

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I can relate to this. In the last year, my perception of what is pleasurable and what provides sexual gratification has changed. My idea of rough sex back then seems rather tame and mundane now. Sex and sexual gratification without pain is almost non-existent. I find I become more excited and turned on when the sensation of pain is part of the experience.

I can distinctly remember the day that I realized this. It was a few months ago, late at night and my Lord gripped my flesh and I was instantly aroused. There were no words said, no other sensations than just pure pain. Foreplay for me is now pain. Sex or play that doesn’t leave marks and bruises is generally unfulfilling and if it happens to include a little blood play, then it takes hours to come down from that pleasure high.

It can be a difficult thing to wrap your mind around. I tend to over-analyze things and many times that is a good attribute. However, there comes a point where the answer to why is, “because that is just the way it is.” I have had to accept that that is just the way I am wired. I like pain and there is nothing wrong with that. I have had to accept this new image of myself. Accepting this took just a shift in perception for me. I realized that I accepted my Lord for finding pleasure in inflicting pain and saw nothing disturbing in that. It then became easy for me to accept myself as a masochist.

One thing that I find for myself is that pleasure is also largely a result of my mental state. The same act, no matter what it is, may provide intense pleasure one day and another day will be rather disappointing. It is dependent on the other stresses in my life and how well I am managing my emotions. If you start worrying about not being able to orgasm without pain, then your mental state may prevent you from fully enjoying the experience.

My Lord controls when I can masturbate and when I am allowed to orgasm. When I have been given permission to play, I find it takes longer to reach orgasm and is less satisfying to me if I do not actually hear him give permission during the moment. It doesn’t frustrate me or cause any worries though. I realize that simple stimulation does not cause the same intense desire and satisfaction as a good session of SM play or sex.

The hardest part in all of this for me has been handling the crave and the ache for more. It is constant, always existing just below the surface. There are times that it is stronger than others, but it is always there. For me sex and play is an empowering experience and the ache for more is sometimes overwhelming. Learning to manage those feelings is taking patience and practice.

I would never want to go back to conventional sex and sexual pleasures. I would have to deny a part of me that I now really like. I like the image of myself as a masochist. It excites me, turns me on and empowers me. During a really heavy scene I will feel invincible. Conventional sex just won’t give me that.

Knight's kyra

_____________________________

"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

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RE: Orgasms Without Pain - 12/21/2005 6:26:56 PM

IrishMist

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Well, originally I was going to answer this, until I saws Kyra's reply. She has pretty much summed it up when in relation to myself also lol.

It was not always like this, but now, I can not imagine pain NOT being a part of it, nor would I want to lose that. It's too exciting and arousing...a step further though for me is that I do not need the actual act of sex to have an orgasm...I have them with just the stimulation of pain only. A cane on the cunt at just the right time can cause me to have multiple orgasms, one right after the other.

As Kyra said though, its all in the way we are wired, and how we respond to different stimuli. And as mentioned, I would not overly worry about it, instead, embrace this new part of yourself that you have discovered.

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RE: Orgasms Without Pain - 12/21/2005 6:28:26 PM

Sensualips

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I have been pondering the opposite dilemma. I have observed people "get off" from pain and tried to discover the adrenalin or endorphin high they are experiencing. I like a little pain. But too much is just...painful. I can endure it. But I am getting nothing out of it except maybe a sense of accomplishment for withstanding. Perhaps some satisfaction of knowing I have done what I was asked to do, and done it as well as I was able. But sexually speaking -- nada.

No fair!

Then I will catch myself thinking..."I wonder why I can't get there. Maybe I am in the wrong head space. Maybe I need to adjust my attitude. Maybe I am not enduring ENOUGH pain to get there. Maybe I have not helped my top tune in to my reactions. Maybe..." and so on.

Then I shake myself and say, "Snap out of it woman! There is nothing wrong with that."

Yet, I will try again..another day and another way.

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RE: Orgasms Without Pain - 12/21/2005 6:38:18 PM

kyraofMists

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IrishMists,

Yes, how could I forget to mention the orgasms that are reached from pain alone... They tend to be the most powerful for me. Just thinking about that first time gives me shivers.

kyra

_____________________________

"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

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RE: Orgasms Without Pain - 12/21/2005 6:45:28 PM

Sensualips

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quote:

how could I forget to mention the orgasms that are reached from pain alone... They tend to be the most powerful for me. Just thinking about that first time gives me shivers

Oh sure, Krya. Rub it in. ;)

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RE: Orgasms Without Pain - 12/21/2005 6:51:13 PM

Sunshine119

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Sensualips

I have been pondering the opposite dilemma. I have observed people "get off" from pain and tried to discover the adrenalin or endorphin high they are experiencing. I like a little pain. But too much is just...painful. I can endure it. But I am getting nothing out of it except maybe a sense of accomplishment for withstanding. Perhaps some satisfaction of knowing I have done what I was asked to do, and done it as well as I was able. But sexually speaking -- nada.

No fair!

Then I will catch myself thinking..."I wonder why I can't get there. Maybe I am in the wrong head space. Maybe I need to adjust my attitude. Maybe I am not enduring ENOUGH pain to get there. Maybe I have not helped my top tune in to my reactions. Maybe..." and so on.

Then I shake myself and say, "Snap out of it woman! There is nothing wrong with that."

Yet, I will try again..another day and another way.

Some of us are "pain sluts" and some of us are not. I don't consider myself a heavy masochist. I love rough sex, spanking and an occassional cropping, being tied up, restrained in any variety of ways and lots of other things, but, as you put it so well, at some point, other things become just downright painful. And while I am proud of myself for withstanding it for him, it doesn't help me get any closer to an orgasm. Oh, well, different strokes for different folks (or whatever all those acronyms usually used at a time like this stand for)!

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RE: Orgasms Without Pain - 12/21/2005 7:56:07 PM

truesub4u

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quote:

ORIGINAL: IrishMist

Well, originally I was going to answer this, until I saws Kyra's reply. She has pretty much summed it up when in relation to myself also lol.

It was not always like this, but now, I can not imagine pain NOT being a part of it, nor would I want to lose that. It's too exciting and arousing...a step further though for me is that I do not need the actual act of sex to have an orgasm...I have them with just the stimulation of pain only. A cane on the cunt at just the right time can cause me to have multiple orgasms, one right after the other.

.

This is just it. I don't need actual penatration to get sexual satification as long as there is pain now. I like you Mist can get smacked, bit, pinched in the right place or at the right time. And my world explodes. (And there so go my losing control over any orgasm and if not given permission to cum yet.. Look out!}

Kyra so much explained how I too have become. And that's why I was wondering if I should be concerned mentally or physically. But I do know, I don't want to go back to the way things were with me and my body. I love where I am and eager to see how much more and further my limits will allow me to go. Or how far Master wishes to take me.

I'm still learning to let go of total control. Giving Master TPE. This is all majorly new to me and exciting to learn and experiance. LOL he has noticed, as the pain is inflicted... the control is more easy for me to give. Now am I giving into the pain, or my Master. I do not know, and he doesn't care, as long as he is getting pleasure from me. And he sees me taking pleasure as my reward back from him. (As he gives it) It's almost as if he figures a great way to punish me, is to deny me pain.

But so far, no ones said anything harmful may accure mantally from this... or abnormal physically. So i'm going to go on the notion that I'm proceeding normally then.

Thanks for the responses.

Jessica

< Message edited by truesub4u -- 12/21/2005 7:58:21 PM >

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RE: Orgasms Without Pain - 12/21/2005 9:26:40 PM

LuckyAlbatross

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What you are talking about is masochism, plain and simple.

It's not uncommon for maoschists to orgasm from pain.

Yes, you may become conditioned to be able to orgasm only if there is some form of pain accompanying it- this is mostly a factor of your mindset and the focus of whoever trains you (you can train yourself back if you need to).

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RE: Orgasms Without Pain - 12/22/2005 8:32:20 AM

truesub4u

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

What you are talking about is masochism, plain and simple.

It's not uncommon for maoschists to orgasm from pain.

Yes, you may become conditioned to be able to orgasm only if there is some form of pain accompanying it- this is mostly a factor of your mindset and the focus of whoever trains you (you can train yourself back if you need to).

Thank you LA. I see now what you are saying in response to my question. If I can be trained (myself) to go high, I can train myself to go low again. Not sure if that is the proper wording. But I think I get the drift of it all. So it's seems to me to be safe in my new found love for pain.

Thanks again.

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RE: Orgasms Without Pain - 12/22/2005 4:30:37 PM

IrishMist

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quote:

ORIGINAL: kyraofMists

IrishMists,

Yes, how could I forget to mention the orgasms that are reached from pain alone... They tend to be the most powerful for me. Just thinking about that first time gives me shivers.

kyra

LOL the first time that happened with me, I was in such shock...I had pretty much reached the pinacle as far as pain was concerned when he took the cane and smacked it down on my cunt........OMG, the PAIN that shot through me, and then almost simultaneously, an orgasm.....it was unbelievable

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