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DelilahDeb -> RE: Do me vs sex sub (11/19/2008 2:19:47 AM)
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A do-me sub is exemplified by a couple of different guys I have interacted with here on CM:
- One was only happy as long as he got his rations of chat sex and phone sex. I was ever so glad that he ended up not able to travel to a local kinky convention where we had a date, and cut him off as soon as I got back from it. His profile changed from male submissive to male switch to male dom in less than a week while we went through this. Bah.
- The second claimed experience as a sub, and I played with him once on a get-to-know you afternoon date and once on a two-day visit.
- He flashed back to non-consentual but pleasurable single-mother incest, and I suggested that his prior experience (all pro-domme) had been only as a bottom and not as a sub. He agreed.
- The second time he demonstrated his lack of understanding of the term "service sub" and capped it by cutting off the communication channels we used once he returned home; with the unadorned statement that *he* would get in touch when he could visit again.
quote:
…solely for your better understanding, it is not submissive behavior to keep control of communications between us in your hands. It is clear to me that cellular text messaging is not an acceptable means of communication from me, and there is little that is less personal. Given that, and your will-o-the-wisp CM account, I am left with only your cell phone number; not a suitable means, in my opinion, to call a closeted and married man at his managerial position with a Fortune 500 company.
This latter example will always be better served exercising his fantasy with a pro of some sort.
A submissive may or may not be getting sexual satisfaction of any sort from a D/s relationship. Masochists may be getting their painful wish fulfilled but go home to a vanilla spouse for sex. A service submissive may do both domestic or automotive service and get his bennies out of the relationship from the joy of service alone…or may also donate his pain to a sadistic domina.
Now, a submissive who also has some flavor of sexual relationship with his (her) domina may receive sexual gratification from his domina in the ways they choose between them. What else are negotiations for?
IMNSHO, the wankers who write to me assuming that I want some anonymous bit of beefcake to (virtually) kiss my feet on first missive so that they can get a reply to jerk off to (one reason, ladies, not to write flames back to them) while acknowledging the textual humiliation, well, they can just go on dreaming. Those are the real "do-me" subs.
Lady Delilah Deb
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