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Do me vs sex sub - 11/18/2008 2:41:23 PM

karril

Posts: 5
Joined: 3/11/2008
Status: offline

Warning, newbie to the forum posting here.

I have seen the term "do me" sub referred to in multiple topics and my understanding of it is a sub that is just looking for a Domme to satisfy them sexually or just do what the sub wants. Please comment/correct me if I am understaing the term incorrectly.

Does that mean that a sub whose main purpose is to please a Domme sexually or by doing sexual things she enjoys for their, the sub's, enjoyment is a "do me" sub?

I am just looking for clarification and a definition of terms.

karril

Post #: 1

RE: Do me vs sex sub - 11/18/2008 2:44:10 PM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

A 'Do Me' sub wants someone to cater to his or her whims, play whenever he or she wants, and of course is doing the dominant/top a tremendous favour by allowing all this to happen.

A pejorative term, at best.

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]

(in reply to karril)

Post #: 2

RE: Do me vs sex sub - 11/18/2008 2:49:48 PM

LadyConstanze

Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline

LOL

"Here Mistress, my list, you may do all those things to me for your pleasure, I LET you do that to me, aren't you grateful? Oh and if you don't do them exactly how I like them, I will annoy the hell outta ya!"

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

Post #: 3

RE: Do me vs sex sub - 11/18/2008 3:01:08 PM

Lockit

Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

<<< Agree's with both LH and LC... ain't that the truth?! lol

I love a sensual submissive man. mmmmmmmmmmm But if he seems to see me only as someone to service his kink... that's a do me submissive to me and to my way of thinking, he is only interested in kinky sex and not submission to a living, breathing, person with a mind. Just about anyone would do and if a blow up doll would work... he wouldn't even need another human.

_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!

(in reply to LadyConstanze)

Post #: 4

RE: Do me vs sex sub - 11/18/2008 3:06:19 PM

hopelesslyInvo

Posts: 522
Joined: 2/10/2008
From: the future
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

A 'Do Me' sub wants someone to cater to his or her whims, play whenever he or she wants, and of course is doing the dominant/top a tremendous favour by allowing all this to happen.

A pejorative term, at best.

i remember running into one dominant who got pissed when anyone including me called her a domme as she thought it meant she was a "do me" dom, instead of it just being an effeminate version of the word. not sure if i ever did convince her otherwise~

< Message edited by hopelesslyInvo -- 11/18/2008 3:08:47 PM >

_____________________________

great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people.

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

Post #: 5

RE: Do me vs sex sub - 11/18/2008 3:14:59 PM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

Well they ARE pronounced the same way, or they should be...

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]

(in reply to hopelesslyInvo)

Post #: 6

RE: Do me vs sex sub - 11/18/2008 3:17:38 PM

Lockit

Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

ROFL... not touching that one with a ten foot pole! I did enjoy it though!

_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

Post #: 7

RE: Do me vs sex sub - 11/18/2008 4:11:16 PM

MistressDolly

Posts: 917
Joined: 8/24/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: karril

Warning, newbie to the forum posting here.

I have seen the term "do me" sub referred to in multiple topics and my understanding of it is a sub that is just looking for a Domme to satisfy them sexually or just do what the sub wants. Please comment/correct me if I am understaing the term incorrectly.

Does that mean that a sub whose main purpose is to please a Domme sexually or by doing sexual things she enjoys for their, the sub's, enjoyment is a "do me" sub?

I am just looking for clarification and a definition of terms.

karril

Do me, top me = same. Some submissive, some not, some in between.

_____________________________

m i s t r e s s d o l l y . c o m

m y s p a c e

(in reply to karril)

Post #: 8

RE: Do me vs sex sub - 11/18/2008 4:30:35 PM

MmeGigs

Posts: 706
Joined: 1/26/2008
Status: offline

What makes a fellow a "do me" sub isn't what he wants, it's how he approaches the people he wants it from. If he's focused on sex/play rather than on getting acquainted, whether he's talking about things he wants or saying he'll do anything the I want, he comes across to me as a "do me". The impression he gives is that what's most important to him is that he gets the opportunity to do these things, and that it doesn't much matter whom he does them with. That may be a wrong impression, but he's unlikely to get a chance to correct it. I don't know about other women, but I either delete those emails without responding or send a "No thanks".

(in reply to karril)

Post #: 9

RE: Do me vs sex sub - 11/18/2008 5:03:43 PM

MsStarlett

Posts: 1879
Joined: 12/23/2007
Status: offline

Hi Karril! Welcome aboard. See? We don't bite.

unless you say "Pretty Please."

_____________________________

It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.
It is by the beans of Java that thoughts acquire speed,
the hands acquire shakes, the shakes become a warning,
It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.

(in reply to MmeGigs)

Post #: 10

RE: Do me vs sex sub - 11/18/2008 5:09:17 PM

karril

Posts: 5
Joined: 3/11/2008
Status: offline

Thank you all for the replies. I am getting a better understanding of it now.

Pretty please
karril

(in reply to MsStarlett)

Post #: 11

RE: Do me vs sex sub - 11/18/2008 5:14:34 PM

MsStarlett

Posts: 1879
Joined: 12/23/2007
Status: offline

LOL! Yes, you do seem to be getting 'into the swing' pretty fast. Good boy.

_____________________________

It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.
It is by the beans of Java that thoughts acquire speed,
the hands acquire shakes, the shakes become a warning,
It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.

(in reply to karril)

Post #: 12

RE: Do me vs sex sub - 11/18/2008 8:55:16 PM

StrongSpirit

Posts: 575
Joined: 4/10/2005
Status: offline

I tried being submissive once or twice. (I think you should know and understand what your sub goes through). I ended up being a "do-me" sub. Eventually I realized that hey, I'm DOMINANT, so being submissive just wasn't working. I'm not saying that all do-me subs are doms in disguise, but I do think they need to re-consider their sexuality.

(in reply to MsStarlett)

Post #: 13

RE: Do me vs sex sub - 11/18/2008 9:03:46 PM

Lockit

Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

Horney, self interested men do not a dominant make. There are do me dominant's and do me submissive's and just do me guys period... hell for that matter some women too... but being do me doesn't at all mean the person's sexuality needs to be reconsidered or their dominance or submission. What might be needed to be more pleasing and actually get somewhere would be an attitude change of not placing sex above people.

_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!

(in reply to StrongSpirit)

Post #: 14

RE: Do me vs sex sub - 11/19/2008 2:19:47 AM

DelilahDeb

Posts: 429
Joined: 1/27/2008
Status: offline

A do-me sub is exemplified by a couple of different guys I have interacted with here on CM:

One was only happy as long as he got his rations of chat sex and phone sex. I was ever so glad that he ended up not able to travel to a local kinky convention where we had a date, and cut him off as soon as I got back from it. His profile changed from male submissive to male switch to male dom in less than a week while we went through this. Bah.
The second claimed experience as a sub, and I played with him once on a get-to-know you afternoon date and once on a two-day visit.
- He flashed back to non-consentual but pleasurable single-mother incest, and I suggested that his prior experience (all pro-domme) had been only as a bottom and not as a sub. He agreed.
- The second time he demonstrated his lack of understanding of the term "service sub" and capped it by cutting off the communication channels we used once he returned home; with the unadorned statement that *he* would get in touch when he could visit again.
  
  quote:
  
  …solely for your better understanding, it is not submissive behavior to keep control of communications between us in your hands. It is clear to me that cellular text messaging is not an acceptable means of communication from me, and there is little that is less personal. Given that, and your will-o-the-wisp CM account, I am left with only your cell phone number; not a suitable means, in my opinion, to call a closeted and married man at his managerial position with a Fortune 500 company.
This latter example will always be better served exercising his fantasy with a pro of some sort.

A submissive may or may not be getting sexual satisfaction of any sort from a D/s relationship. Masochists may be getting their painful wish fulfilled but go home to a vanilla spouse for sex. A service submissive may do both domestic or automotive service and get his bennies out of the relationship from the joy of service alone…or may also donate his pain to a sadistic domina.

Now, a submissive who also has some flavor of sexual relationship with his (her) domina may receive sexual gratification from his domina in the ways they choose between them. What else are negotiations for?

IMNSHO, the wankers who write to me assuming that I want some anonymous bit of beefcake to (virtually) kiss my feet on first missive so that they can get a reply to jerk off to (one reason, ladies, not to write flames back to them) while acknowledging the textual humiliation, well, they can just go on dreaming. Those are the real "do-me" subs.

Lady Delilah Deb

_____________________________

"All acts of love & pleasure are My rituals."
--from the Charge of the Goddess, a Wiccan teaching

(in reply to Lockit)

Post #: 15

RE: Do me vs sex sub - 11/19/2008 7:17:41 AM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: karril

Warning, newbie to the forum posting here.

I have seen the term "do me" sub referred to in multiple topics and my understanding of it is a sub that is just looking for a Domme to satisfy them sexually or just do what the sub wants. Please comment/correct me if I am understaing the term incorrectly.

Does that mean that a sub whose main purpose is to please a Domme sexually or by doing sexual things she enjoys for their, the sub's, enjoyment is a "do me" sub?

I am just looking for clarification and a definition of terms.

karril

it may or may not make the sub a do-me -- to me that also represents the limiting of the exchange only to the sex and only those acts the sub wants. Frankly I wouldn't call this person a do-me sub but a bottom.

But if dom only does things for her partner's pleasure I'd call her either a service top or a service dom.

Nothing negative about any of these groups as long as it matches what the other person is looking for.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to karril)

Post #: 16

RE: Do me vs sex sub - 11/19/2008 7:31:20 AM

MsStarlett

Posts: 1879
Joined: 12/23/2007
Status: offline

Now the other side of the conversation is "Sex Sub"... That's what about 99% of men who email a Domme want to be. They have this strange obession - probably from watching to much porn - of a hot sexy woman in fetish clothing who binds the sub to a bed, wall, bench, whatever and does nothing but 'force' the sub to have sex with her in multiple ways.... over and over... for hours a day... every day... make him cum until it hurts... then make him cum some more.

If you ever find a woman who does that... Let me know. I'll forward all my mail to her.

_____________________________

It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.
It is by the beans of Java that thoughts acquire speed,
the hands acquire shakes, the shakes become a warning,
It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.

(in reply to thetammyjo)

Post #: 17

RE: Do me vs sex sub - 11/19/2008 7:39:59 AM

chezzy71

Posts: 412
Joined: 4/19/2008
Status: offline

MsStarlett...forget that whole Domme porn thing...if a man can keep it up all day long then i want to know what he's eating,smoking and or ingesting in pharmaceutical form and even if that happened....there is still no way it would happen all day long...i would think exhaustion on top of being dired up like a prune would stop all activity.

(in reply to MsStarlett)

Post #: 18

RE: Do me vs sex sub - 11/19/2008 7:46:32 AM

MsStarlett

Posts: 1879
Joined: 12/23/2007
Status: offline

LOL! Well.... you know how it is. Porn is still a MOVIE! Hubby and I were just discussing that with another friend this weekend. So many people are so funny about such things. I mean, I saw Arnold have his skin burned off of him and he had a metal skeleton underneith and never thought is was REAL. Some guys see crap like a bald man sticking his whole head up a woman's vagina (or a man's ass in a recent vanilla superhero film) and have some crazy idea that if he keeps asking about it, he'll find someone who can actually DO that.... or worse - who WANTS to do that.

_____________________________

It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.
It is by the beans of Java that thoughts acquire speed,
the hands acquire shakes, the shakes become a warning,
It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.

(in reply to chezzy71)

Post #: 19

RE: Do me vs sex sub - 11/19/2008 11:28:39 AM

AlexandraLynch

Posts: 778
Joined: 3/24/2008
Status: offline

On occasion I act as a service top for a couple lovers of mine; for me, I do get enjoyment out of doing the acts in question, and we always trade it as "Ok, I'll do your thing on Monday, and when we get together on Wednesday, I get to pick." so I don't feel as though I'm getting used.

But I think everyone has a particular set of things that will reliably push their buttons, and the problem is with stopping there, instead of occasionally negotiating for that and enjoying it as a special treat.

(in reply to MsStarlett)

Post #: 20

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