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Things CATS Must Try To Remember! - 8/7/2004 8:44:17 AM

NightDaughter

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From: Ontario, Canada
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Screaming at the can of food will not make it open itself.

I should not assume the patio door is open when I race outside to chase leaves.

If I put a live mouse in my food bowl, I should not expect it to stay there until I get hungry.

The guinea pig likes to sleep once in a while. I will not watch him constantly.

If I bite the cactus, it will bite back.

I will not stand on the bathroom counter, stare down the hall, and growl at nothing right after my human has finished watching "The X-Files".

Television and computer screens do not exist to backlight my lovely tail.

No matter how dangly and attractive they are, my human's earrings are not cat toys.

If I play 'dead cat on the stairs' while people are trying to bring in groceries or laundry, one of these days it will really come true.

My human is capable of cooking bacon and eggs without my help.

The canned cat food is already dead. I do not need to kill it by swatting bits of it all over the floor.

I am a carnivore. Potted plants are not meat.

I will never be able to walk on the ceiling, and staring up the wall and screaming at it will not bring it any closer.

It is not a good idea to try to lap up the powdered creamer before it all dissolves in the boiling coffee.

The goldfish likes living in water and must be allowed to remain in its bowl.

If my human wants to share her sandwich with me, she will give me a piece. She will notice if I start eating it from the other end.

I cannot leap through closed windows to catch birds outside.

The large dog in the back yard has lived there for six years. I will not freak out every time I see it.

I am a neutered cat, not a peacock, and prancing around with my tail fluffed up will not make my parts grow back.

If I must give a present to my humans's overnight guests, my toy mouse is much more socially acceptable than a live cockroach, even if it isn't as tasty.

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RE: Things CATS Must Try To Remember! - 11/25/2004 2:55:37 PM

Kuraria

Posts: 69
Joined: 6/5/2004
From: Indianapolis, IN
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lmao I really love things about cats... I'll have to show this to mine.

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RE: Things CATS Must Try To Remember! - 11/25/2004 6:00:06 PM

proudsub

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Kuraria, thanks for bringing up some of the old jokes on here, i missed this one the first time around.

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RE: Things CATS Must Try To Remember! - 11/25/2004 8:12:28 PM

rubytuesday

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Joined: 10/22/2004
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Well that made me smile - any cat I ever owned always had a mind of its own. Which reminds me isnt there an old saying something like "dogs have owners, cats have slaves" !!

smiles
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RE: Things CATS Must Try To Remember! - 11/25/2004 9:59:38 PM

LadyShoshin

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Joined: 7/19/2004
From: Burlington, Ontario
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I swear I am going to have my male cat teach male subs how to do foot worship properly, however we will skip the part about then walking up my body to plump my belly & boobs before going back to my feet for a nap.

I also have to teach him that just because he can open the linen closet door doesn't mean he should and that just because he is smart does not mean he has the right to jump up on my printer and press the buttons to copy whatever happens to be in the scanner. He also is going to learn that perching on top of my subwoofer on top of my hutch & doing vulture imitations in the middle of the night is NOT amusing.

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RE: Things CATS Must Try To Remember! - 11/26/2004 12:34:22 AM

BeachMystress

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From: Naples Island- Long Beach CA - Southern California
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quote:

ORIGINAL: rubytuesday
Which reminds me isnt there an old saying something like "dogs have owners, cats have slaves" !!

I've always liked the old saying: My dog thinks he's human. My cat thinks he's god

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RE: Things CATS Must Try To Remember! - 11/27/2004 2:36:30 PM

Kuraria

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Joined: 6/5/2004
From: Indianapolis, IN
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quote:

ORIGINAL: proudsub

Kuraria, thanks for bringing up some of the old jokes on here, i missed this one the first time around.

hey, your very welcome... I went through and found them funny not reading them myself before and took my chance to reply. I had no idea at first that it would bring it to the front of the list again but as you said it was a good thing some of you prolly missed them the first time around.

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RE: Things CATS Must Try To Remember! - 12/2/2004 3:52:40 PM

MasochistLullaby

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quote:

I've always liked the old saying: My dog thinks he's human. My cat thinks he's god

I heard one similar to this as well....Dogs have owners, cats have staff.

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RE: Things CATS Must Try To Remember! - 12/2/2004 4:17:22 PM

siamsa24

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quote:

If I play 'dead cat on the stairs' while people are trying to bring in groceries or laundry, one of these days it will really come true.

This is my cat's latest trick

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RE: Things CATS Must Try To Remember! - 12/3/2004 2:34:34 AM

Kuraria

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From: Indianapolis, IN
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quote:

If I must give a present to my humans's overnight guests, my toy mouse is much more socially acceptable than a live cockroach, even if it isn't as tasty

better then dogs leaving poop in your shoe... ack

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RE: Things CATS Must Try To Remember! - 12/3/2004 4:21:29 PM

masteroffire

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Joined: 11/9/2004
From: Yukon, Oklahoma
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can't say I've every had a dog poop in my shoes... peed on them many time though.

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