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CallaFirestormBW -> RE: Do the semi-vanillas ask you questions? (11/21/2008 11:37:09 AM)
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I get a lot of questions. Fortunately, it's something that I welcome, in that I've spent a quarter-century as a pastoral care provider and spokesperson for 'fringe-life' individuals of many stripes -- polyfideletous, ambisexterous, heteroflexible, gay, lesbian, transgendered, multi-gendered, fringe spirituality, atheist, body-modified, authority-transferred, top, bottom, fetishist, vampiric, fringe-health...
Over the years, I've noticed that a lot more of the people who aren't part of, and don't really want to -be- part of, these communities have been asking questions about how people on the fringes live...including some pretty blunt questions about how they interact romantically, physically, and familially. I think this is a good thing. Seeing that the 'fringies' are genuine people, with jobs, families, goals, dreams, and quirks gives the opportunity for some of the folks on the fringe to be able to become part of the greater society again... and for a lot of folks right on the edge there, the idea that they way that they lived was interfering with their ability to be part of the mainstream world was a real issue, so the greater freedom and inclusivity that is available is really great for a lot of folks... and it makes my job a little easier. When people can talk amongst themselves about their quirks, it means that people who provide support in the community have a smaller pool over which our limited resources are spread.
At the same time, the increased conversation between mainstream and fringe elements is moving the mainstream further out onto the fringe. A lot more things are acceptable now than they were 25 years ago... at the same time, because the mainstream is absorbing some of the inner fringes, the demarcation between what is "embraceable" by the mainstream/inner fringe and what is 'aberrant and scary' is becoming much more distinct... shoving some of the people who really enjoy that position further out on the fringes into a no-man's-land where they can feel even more ostracized by their desires and practices.
In the end, though, everything changes. Things I could never have talked about on a forum like this a decade ago are now common conversation... and in the same way, people who would never have -asked- certain things a decade ago, because even knowing that such things existed was nearly branding oneself as a 'freak' are now subject to query and scrutiny... and the more 'accepted' certain things become, the more public exposure will increase, and for a while, conversations about WIITWD are going to be the 'darling' conversations... then, once it's been around for a while, people will start relaxing and find a new fringe group to pester with their curiosity.
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