Why is it.... (Full Version)

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moonvine -> Why is it.... (11/21/2008 10:44:27 PM)

that I can be alone for years, yet the minute one D-type shows interest, numerous other D-types show interest as well? (all of whom I've met in person, btw, so I know they exist, at least).

Now I'm really confused, and I've never been good at making choices!  It takes me an hour to figure out what I want to eat when I go to a restaurant.  And historically I have made bad choices of partners. 





came4U -> RE: Why is it.... (11/21/2008 11:01:11 PM)

When it rains it pours.

Oh well..the more to choose from I guess lol.  Send some thisaway, I will take up the slack. hehe



babygirlkitten -> RE: Why is it.... (11/22/2008 1:35:45 AM)

The more positive attention you get, the more confidence you have, and the more attractive you appear. Also, pheramone production is kicked in to high gear. 



lally3 -> RE: Why is it.... (11/22/2008 7:07:20 AM)

over here in england we call it the 'bus phenomenon' - you wait and wait in the pouring fucking rain and then 3 buses turn up at once.

i know where youre at totally - in the end its the one that works into my brain the quickest - the one i find myself thinking about the most.

the fear is that youll choose the wrong one, itll last a minute and youll have lost the others in the process, but you can only go by your gut feelings and what feels right at the time.  thats my philosophy on life generally.  i can look back and wish that i hadnt opted for the path i took - but at the time it felt like the right path and i have to remind myself of that and that i will never know if the other path would have been better or worse, but in the process i learnt some more about myself and experienced something i wouldnt have experienced otherwise.

ive also noticed that as we learn more and more about ourselves, have more and more to offer a D/s partnership the more we attract the ones who know what theyre doing - so the quality of interestees increases and makes the decisions harder.

its a leap of faith, for sure - its just making sure that the leap of faith you take is into safe hands.

trust yourself, youve probably learnt more from the bad choices than you realise and will be far more intuned to what you need this time around.

hugs, xx



shivermetimbers -> RE: Why is it.... (11/22/2008 7:13:41 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: moonvine

that I can be alone for years, yet the minute one D-type shows interest, numerous other D-types show interest as well? (all of whom I've met in person, btw, so I know they exist, at least).

Now I'm really confused, and I've never been good at making choices!  It takes me an hour to figure out what I want to eat when I go to a restaurant.  And historically I have made bad choices of partners. 




From reading your journal and some posts, there is an air of "I'm real" about you.  I can't speak for the D types, but I think once there seems to be no doubt you are a real person who is actually looking to meet, and not someone just doing this for kicks, they want to meet.  Perhaps they have had their eye on you for a while, and now that they know you actually move from behind the computer, they better act fast and not let this potential one get away.  Like I said, just surmising here, and like has been said, confidence is an attracting force.

BTW, never date a guy who only eats fast food!!  There's my tidbit of unsolicited advice to help reduce the chances of bad choices.



sub4hire -> RE: Why is it.... (11/22/2008 9:02:32 AM)

Choose the guy who, without you asking just up and orders for you.
He is the one taking control and noticing you can't make up your mind.




pinkwind -> RE: Why is it.... (11/22/2008 10:42:04 AM)

Cynically speaking some Doms(?) don't like to put the work in to fathoming out a sub's suitability. Once another Dom is on the scene it is almost like the sub has been given a certificate of authenticity, and those lazy beggars then come circling around like vultures and some, from personal experience on CM, even bad mouth the lucky Dom to the sub in the hopes that they might poach the poor thing.






starshineowned -> RE: Why is it.... (11/22/2008 10:48:03 AM)

While agree's with what some have stated so far regarding "confidence"...perhaps if these D types know of one another, and you've made mention of one showing interest "both theirs and yours"..then you've invoke that primal male "get the girl conquer" syndrome in the others?

starshine



kiwisub12 -> RE: Why is it.... (11/22/2008 11:34:43 AM)

i think it is a  case of "if one is interested, then the sought after toy has extra value". You see it all the time on the playground. Junior has the truck, so Trey wants it, while the perfectly good tractor sits idle.   Just enjoy your time as truck [:D]



moonvine -> RE: Why is it.... (11/22/2008 12:36:36 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: sub4hire

Choose the guy who, without you asking just up and orders for you.
He is the one taking control and noticing you can't make up your mind.




Ack!  None of them have ordered for me, does that mean I need to start over?:)



moonvine -> RE: Why is it.... (11/22/2008 12:38:49 PM)

Yay, I'm a truck...vroom vroom!



moonvine -> RE: Why is it.... (11/22/2008 1:07:21 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: shivermetimbers

quote:

ORIGINAL: moonvine

that I can be alone for years, yet the minute one D-type shows interest, numerous other D-types show interest as well? (all of whom I've met in person, btw, so I know they exist, at least).

Now I'm really confused, and I've never been good at making choices!  It takes me an hour to figure out what I want to eat when I go to a restaurant.  And historically I have made bad choices of partners. 




From reading your journal and some posts, there is an air of "I'm real" about you.  I can't speak for the D types, but I think once there seems to be no doubt you are a real person who is actually looking to meet, and not someone just doing this for kicks, they want to meet.  Perhaps they have had their eye on you for a while, and now that they know you actually move from behind the computer, they better act fast and not let this potential one get away.  Like I said, just surmising here, and like has been said, confidence is an attracting force.

BTW, never date a guy who only eats fast food!!  There's my tidbit of unsolicited advice to help reduce the chances of bad choices.


Well, thanks for thinking I'm real.  I actually really do want to know why John Paul Wilson keeps throwing into double coverage, or else I would not put it in my journal.   I do get a lot of messages about football.  Mostly from Florida fans.  Pfft.



moonvine -> RE: Why is it.... (11/22/2008 1:09:00 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: lally3

over here in england we call it the 'bus phenomenon' - you wait and wait in the pouring fucking rain and then 3 buses turn up at once.

i know where youre at totally - in the end its the one that works into my brain the quickest - the one i find myself thinking about the most.




But that's the one who lives the closest, and can come over to spank me Sunday.  As opposed to the ones who live further away, and can't necessarily do that. 



lovingpet -> RE: Why is it.... (11/22/2008 5:57:39 PM)

A cruel cosmic joke???

Seriously though.... could be simple coincidence.  There is also that engagement ring syndrome.  I experienced it both the times a diamond went on that particular finger.  People who would not give me the time of day were wanting to "just go for coffee"  or wanting to "hang out awhile".  Your job now is to figure out who is there in your best interest and who is just trying to pilfer the possession of another.  So, who is it that possesses you? 

lovingpet



silkncarol -> RE: Why is it.... (11/22/2008 8:09:51 PM)

feast or famine......definitely where quality counts for more than quantity. 



StrongSpirit -> RE: Why is it.... (11/22/2008 8:38:04 PM)

Part of the issue is time and effort.  As time passes, you may have developed qualities that people desire.  Another may simply be that people have always been interested, but it took time for them to decide.






Araven -> RE: Why is it.... (11/22/2008 8:58:43 PM)

I consider it the sweater theory..

The sweater theory is when a man or women will look at a sweater on the clothes rack and think.. man, i wouldnt want that. But when they see the sweater on somebody else, they think "man, that really looks good"..

just my 2 cents.



Vendaval -> RE: Why is it.... (11/22/2008 11:58:15 PM)

Make a list for each one of positives and negatives and include a large dose of reality, like distance and time available.



FullfigRIMAAM1 -> RE: Why is it.... (11/23/2008 3:52:20 AM)

This type of thing makes me believe in some more universal energy/vibe thing, than my sudden increase in happiness or appeal.   For example, I will start dating some new potential, and all of a sudden, one from a different state or country will get in touch again, and try to connect.   

As for choices, determine what is important to you in terms of qualities, common goals, trustworthiness, and pray for the right one to enter your life...   Needless to say, I've been where you are, and made unfortunate choices as well.   M



missturbation -> RE: Why is it.... (11/23/2008 6:00:30 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: moonvine

that I can be alone for years, yet the minute one D-type shows interest, numerous other D-types show interest as well? (all of whom I've met in person, btw, so I know they exist, at least).

Now I'm really confused, and I've never been good at making choices!  It takes me an hour to figure out what I want to eat when I go to a restaurant.  And historically I have made bad choices of partners. 





You lucky, lucky girl.
Could you pass some my way, my dating pool is still a puddle lol.
 
Seriously i'd just date the ones you want to and see how things go. But there again i'm a slut so maybe best you don't listen to me [:D]



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